


i'll be home for christmas (if only in my dreams)

by softlass27



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Fix-It, M/M, Reunion 3.0
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27778237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlass27/pseuds/softlass27
Summary: Ever since the day he lost Robert, Aaron’s been struggling to get by. Between an overcrowded house, constant fights with his sister and ever-present feelings of loneliness, this year has been a rough one. And it doesn’t look like that’s going to change anytime soon.Until, that is, a fateful knock at the door sets in motion a series of events that will change everything.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 384
Kudos: 550





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this story follows canon up until early november, when vinny moves into the mill, then veers swiftly into another direction from there. obviously there'll be references to things that are currently happening, or have happened recently, in the show, and i know a lot of robron fans aren't watching any more. so if you're confused or have any questions about current canon, please don't hesitate to ask me and i'll be happy to clear anything up!
> 
> ALSO, just a heads up, it's going to be... quite a few chapters before robert rocks up, as this is a more aaron-focused story, at least to begin with. but i promise he will be there eventually, and there'll be lots of reference to him in the meantime!

Aaron scowled as he walked into the kitchen, taking in the dirty mess covering nearly every available surface.

“Liv,” he called, sighing in frustration when he didn’t get an answer. “Liv!”

There was a brief thundering on the staircase, before Liv poked her head down to raise an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“This place is a tip, your dishes need washing.”

“I’ll get to them later."

“I asked you to do them yesterday.”

“I haven’t had time!”

“Don’t give me that, you and Vinny were down here watching telly for ages last night.”

“Uh,” Vinny appeared behind Liv, looking awkward as ever. “I can wash them now, boss. It’ll make me a bit late to work but – ”

“I didn’t tell you to do the dishes,” Aaron cut him off shortly. “It was Liv’s job.”

“Stop giving me chores, I’m not a kid!” Liv scowled, annoyance verging towards anger now.

“Could’ve fooled me. Now get this done before you go to college, I’m sick of picking up after you.”

“I’ll do it when I do it.”

Aaron took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. It seemed as though every day was becoming like this, every conversation they had turning into a battle. 

“Or you could do it when I tell you to?”

“Stop acting like you’re still my guardian because you’re not,” Liv snapped back, arms folded. “I’m over 18 and this is my house too, you can’t order me about.”

That had pretty much been her answer to everything since her last birthday, and it was getting on Aaron’s last nerve.

“You know what? Fine.” Aaron grabbed his coat and headed for the door. “Do it whenever you want, just as long as you don’t expect me to do it for you. I’m going to work.” 

He relished the satisfying slam of the door behind him, stalking up the driveway and into the sanctuary of his car.

Half an hour later, he was hunched over his desk in the portacabin, eyes scanning back and forth over a spreadsheet like the numbers on it would change if he stared at them for long enough. He winced at the sound of Paul getting started on an old car outside, already feeling the beginnings of a headache creeping across his temple. Though, if was honest with himself, that had nothing to do with the noise and everything to do with stress over the state of his business.

Truth be told, he was barely getting by. Holey Scrap was never quite the same after losing Adam, his heart wasn’t in it like it was before. But he’d initially had Robert to help him with the books, to sweet-talk difficult clients into signing contracts in a way that Aaron just couldn’t, even to help out with the physical stuff if Aaron got really desperate. So for a while, he kept earning and kept making a profit, even if he couldn’t work as fast without his business partner. He’d managed.

But this year… this year was a struggle. Bouncing back after lockdown had been tough as hell, and hiring Vinny and Paul had been more of a hindrance than a help, really. Barely a week went by when Aaron didn't have to deal with a client who was either put off by Paul’s sleaziness or irritated by Vinny’s bumbling inexperience. The pair of them were both constantly asking him for extra shifts then failed to turn on time – if at all. Aaron was regretting ever letting Mandy talk him into hiring her kid, and he regretted letting Vinny talk him into hiring his feckless dad even more.

So between incompetent employees and Aaron’s own dwindling motivation, it was becoming increasingly difficult to fulfil orders and meet deadlines. One by one, clients were slipping away, fed up with the repeated delays and half-baked excuses.  The only thing that kept him hanging on and stopped him from throwing in the towel altogether was… the scrapyard was one of his last ties to Robert. Robert, who’d invested in the business so Aaron could have something of his own (and okay, maybe so they had an excuse to keep seeing each other alone), and because he believed in him. It was part of them, their history. Aaron didn’t know if he was quite ready to let that go just yet. 

But if something didn’t change soon… he may not have a choice.

*

“So,” Vinny said from where he was lounging on one of Aaron’s gaming chairs. “When do you lot put your decorations up?”

Aaron heard a quiet scoff from the kitchen table, where Cain was bent over his laptop. 

“For Christmas, you mean?” Liv asked.

“Yeah. Mum always liked to get started early, the sooner the better she says.”

“Course she does,” Aaron muttered, helping Isaac sort out his LEGO blocks on the rug.

“Start of December, usually,” Liv said, smiling at Vinny. “But we could always do it a bit sooner, if you want?”

“Er, no chance,” Aaron frowned. “It’s barely November yet, no way am I climbing into the loft and dragging that tree out already.”

“Oh,” Vinny blinked, before looking downcast. “Yeah, no, you’re right. It’s not my house, I’m totally happy to go with whatever you guys want.”

“But this is your home now, too,” Liv said firmly, shooting Aaron a quick glare. “Don’t listen to Scrooge over there; why don’t we go to the garden centre and pick out some bits, get some new lights and stuff?”

Vinny nodded eagerly, and within minutes the pair were putting on their coats and heading out the front door.

“Properly domesticated, those two,” Cain said mildly, not looking up from the screen. “They’ll be picking out china next.”

“God, don’t start.” Aaron clambered to his feet, stretching with a groan and leaving Isaac to his LEGO building. “Brew?”

“Ta.”

When Aaron put Cain’s mug down and sat opposite him, his uncle gave him long stare.

“What?”

“You alright?”

Aaron shrugged and took a sip of his tea. “Fine, why?”

“No reason,” Cain said, raising an eyebrow. “Except you’re even more grouchy than me these days, so summat must be up with you.”

Aaron sighed, shrugged again. After a moment, Cain cleared his throat.

“It’s a year since you lost Sugden now, innit?”

He was the only one to talk about Robert in that way, as someone Aaron lost. As someone taken away against his will. The rest of his family – Mum, Paddy, Liv – put it a little differently. With them – if they spoke of him at all – it was always “since Robert left”. As if Robert had just got up one day and decided to walk out without a backward glance. Like Robert had purposely abandoned him, like their entire relationship was something to be forgotten and moved on from. 

Only Cain referred to the end of their marriage as the loss that it was. The only one who made Aaron feel like he was allowed to mourn it aloud.

“Yeah. These last couple of weeks… it’s been a bit harder than usual, s’all.”

He blew out a shaky breath, dropping tired, bloodshot eyes down to look at his mug. He hadn’t exactly slept well at all this year, but the past few weeks… their wedding anniversary, Seb’s birthday, the date of Robert’s sentencing… It was one painful day after another, reminders of what – _who_ – he was missing hitting him as viscerally as a punch to the gut. He was lucky if he got more than four solid hours sleep most nights, a restless swirl of bittersweet memories playing in his mind and keeping him awake.

“I know,” Cain said, with his usual quiet understanding.

“And with me an’ Liv fighting all the time, and now she’s moved her boyfriend in…”

“Yeah, I’d noticed. Bit fast, innit?”

“Suppose she can do whatever she likes,” Aaron sighed. “She’s made that perfectly clear. I think we’re all just getting on top of each other at the minute – not that I’m complaining about you and the boys being here. You’re family, you’re welcome as long as you want.”

“Okay,” Cain said slowly. “Is that all it is, then? Or is there somethin' else going on?”

Aaron hesitated, before nodding. If anyone could help him figure things out, it was his uncle.

“…Work’s not been great, either.”

“Not great as in…?”

“As in I’m barely making ends meet.”

There was a flicker of concern in Cain's eye as he closed his laptop and pushed it to one side.

“I thought you were doin’ alright after lockdown?”

“Not really, no. This year’s been hard for everyone, I get that, but… it’s not lookin’ great, Cain.”

“If you want help getting back on track, or if you need a loan, I’ll see if I can call in a few favours – ”

Aaron shook his head rapidly. “Nah, you’ve got enough going on. And honestly… I’m not sure if I _want_ to get things back on track.”

“As in… you want rid?”

“Yes… no, I dunno,” Aaron groaned, scrubbing a hand across his face. “Think I’m sick of scrap, to be honest.”

“Time to move on, then,” Cain said, putting things as simply as he always did, making it sound so easy. “Before things get any worse.”

“Don’t know what I’d do instead, though. Gotta pay the bills, don’t I?”

“Well, you know there’s always a job at the garage if you want it?”

Aaron dropped the hand from his face to stare at him. “Seriously?”

“Sure,” Cain shrugged. “Even if you just need somethin’ to tide you over while you’re figuring things out, give you time to decide what your next move is.”

“What about Dan and Will?”

“Dan can only do a few hours a week right now and it doesn’t look like that’s changing anytime soon, not with his back the way it is. And Will’s worse than useless, be glad to have the excuse to get rid of him, if I’m honest.”

“Bit harsh.”

“It’s the truth. You should know about useless employees.”

Aaron huffed a laugh and nodded. Cain was the only one who let him rant about Paul and Vinny at the end of each day, especially now that Liv wouldn’t hear a word against her boyfriend.

“Besides,” Cain added, voice firm. “Family comes first. ’Specially you, kid.”

Something close to warmth flooded Aaron’s chest, the closest he’d felt to it in longer than he cared to admit.

“You not worried I’d be a bit rusty?”

“I got you up to standard once, I can do it again,” Cain grinned, all teeth.

“Don’t know if I like the sound of that.”

“Well, you were always a natural, best in the business after our Debbie. And a grafter, too, when you weren’t too busy chasing boys.”

“Oi!” Aaron cried. “I was never _chasing boys_ , what the hell you on about?”

“Just callin’ it like I remember it.”

“Must be your age, that. Memory goes first, right?”

“Watch it, you,” Cain mock-glared at him, before his features softened. “Look, the offer’s always there. Whatever you decide.”

Aaron bit his lip, considering. “Thanks, Cain. I’ll think about it.” 

“Good. Now, d’you know anythin’ about Van Gough? I’m supposed to be helping Kyle with his art homework later and I ain't got a clue, mate.”

*

Cain’s job offer stayed lodged in Aaron’s head for the rest of the day. 

He’d retreated up to his room when Liv and Vinny returned, keeping out of their way while they put up the decorations they’d bought. Frankly, he didn’t care if they went the whole hog and put the tree up while they were at it, save him a job. Even when they reached December, he doubted he’d feel much like decorating any more than he had last year.

For the longest time, he’d avoided their – _his_ – bedroom entirely, the thought of sleeping alone too much to bear. But he’d eventually gotten through a night, then another, then another, until he managed to sleep enough to keep functioning.  And then, somewhere along the way, the bedroom became his sanctuary. 

He still felt Robert’s absence painfully, spending some nights staring at the empty right side of the bed until the pillow under his head was drenched with tears. But in here, with the door locked and the outside world hidden from view, he could also _breathe_. He could do whatever he wanted, and forget his responsibilities for a little while.  He could also forget that the rest of the house was full of people who weren’t his husband, he could look at old photos of them together, he could pull their wedding rings out of the drawer by his bed and touch them gently, before safely putting them away again.

Without anyone jumping down his throat, demanding to know why he hadn’t thrown all remnants of Robert away, why he was still wasting his time remembering someone who didn’t deserve it. That had happened before, more than once, and not just with Liv. With his mum and Paddy, too. He learned his lesson, learned not to leave evidence of his time with Robert lying around again.

It was almost like living back in the pub again, escaping constant questions or reprimands by hiding in the peace and quiet of his own space.

Now, tuning out the sounds of raucous laughter downstairs, he glanced over printouts of the scrapyard figures spread over his duvet once more, weighing up the pros and cons. For so long now, he’d kept going. Ducked his head down, went through the motions, just… carried on. _Just keep swimming_ , he’d told Vic not long after Harry was born, and he’d meant it at the time. Because it was what everyone expected of him. Because he didn’t know what else to do.

But now, he couldn’t help replaying Cain’s words in his mind.

_Time to move on, then._

Maybe he had a point.

*

Another day, another argument.

“No, Liv, I’m _not_ paying for a sofa bed.”

“But Vinny can’t keep kipping on the sofa we have now,” Liv whined, gesturing to the pile of blankets that had taken up permanent residence in the living room. “Aaron please, he needs a proper place to sleep.”

“I agree, he does. Which is why he should move into a house that actually comes with a free bedroom. Like the perfectly good one he had at Sam and Lydia’s.”

“No,” Liv scowled, frustrated. That made two of them. “Vinny stays.”

Aaron took a deep breath. There was another headache throbbing behind his eyes.

“Look, I don’t know what’s gone on with him and Mandy – to be honest, I don’t really care. But him staying here long-term ain't gonna work, I’m not putting up with him being in my face all day at the yard and then here every night.”

“I had to put up with you and Robert.”

Aaron bit back a furious retort. It wasn’t the first time she’d compared the two in an attempt to justify herself, and it rubbed him up the wrong way even more now than it had previously. 

“That’s not the same and you know it.”

“How?”

“Robert was my husband, my family. He was yours too, he took care of you right along with me!”

Liv scoffed. “Not really.”

Aaron frowned at her, incredulous.

“He looked out for you, he cooked your tea, cleaned up after you, got you through school and your exams, paid your legal fees when you needed them. What part of that isn’t taking care of you?” He could feel his voice and his temper rising, but there was nothing he could do to stop it, indignation blazing through him like hot wildfire. “We were married, this was our _home_. We were going to start a proper family here. That’s _not_ the same as you moving in the lad you’ve been seein’ for about five minutes without asking me. Don’t compare them.”

Aaron could tell by the look on Liv’s face that she wasn’t budging, not even an inch. He might as well have been talking to air.

“I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – Robert’s gone and he’s not coming back. I don’t get why you’re bringing him into this!” 

“You’re the one who brought him – ”

“Whatever,” she waved a dismissive hand. “I’m not having this fight with you again, I can have whoever I want living here!”

“Look, I know this is your house too – ”

“My house full stop.”

Aaron froze. “What?”  


“The Mill’s my house.” Liv fired at him, chin jutting up in defiance. “I’m the one who paid for it.”

“… It’s in both our names.”

She faltered for a brief moment, a hint of uncertainty in her face, before quickly shaking her head. “But it was bought with my inheritance, _my_ money. You never would’ve even got this place if it wasn’t for that.”

Aaron stared wordlessly as she propped her hands on her hips, triumphant.

“That’s… technically true,” he eventually said, thrown by the turn the argument had taken. “But you, me and Robert did this place up together. We agreed to use your money so that you could have some stability, so we could make a home for the three of us.” 

Liv scoffed. “The three of us? No, it was the _two_ of us, you and me.”

“Sorry, _what_?”

“Come on, Robert lived here for about five minutes before you chucked him out. Then he came back for what, a year and a half? Before he screwed things up again and – ”

“Oi, watch it.”

“What, I’m just sayin’ what happened! He ruined your life, _again_ , and somehow _I'm_ the bad guy for wanting you to get over a convicted murderer.”

The conversation was escalating, veering so dangerously out of control, Aaron wanted to turn and run before the cracks in his heart deepened any further.

“Liv, stop.”

“It’s true! I’m only repeating what Paddy said when we had to stop you from trying to break him out like a muppet.”

Aaron clenched his jaw and folded his arms around himself, not wanting to revisit one of the worst days of his life, those feelings of betrayal and utter hopelessness. “Paddy was wrong.”

“He wasn’t, and neither is Chas when she tells you to move on. You could be happy, Aaron.” Liv looked earnest now, pleading eyes shining through her anger. "You could finally meet a good bloke. Like Alex, he was great for you. And now there’s Ben, he’s a really nice guy! But you won’t even give it a chance, you’d rather just wallow here and try to make the rest of us feel bad for getting on with our lives.”

_Was that really what they thought of him?_

“I – I don’t mean to.”

“You never do, but you can’t help yourself, can you? It’s just like the last time Robert left, it’s all about you. Poor Aaron, can’t cope on his own, better not mention _Robert_ or you’ll hurt his feelings. Honestly, it’s pathetic.”

The sneering tone stunned him into silence, just like it had the last time she’d spoken to him like this, when he’d visited her in the youth detention centre. He’d thought they’d moved on from fights like that one, he thought she understood him better now than she had then.

Apparently he was wrong.

“God, why can’t you just _move on_?”

By the time he opened his mouth to reply, Liv was already marching out the door.

*

Aaron stood motionless in the centre of the room. He’d barely moved an inch since Liv had stormed out of the house, still reeling from the viciousness of their argument. 

_My house full stop._

His eyes travelled slowly across the living room and kitchen, taking in his surroundings with a new light.

One of Vinny’s jumpers was hanging haphazardly off the back of the sofa, where Robert’s favourite throw once lay neatly folded. Empty takeaway boxes were spilling out of the recycling bin, and Aaron knew if he opened the fridge, he’d find nothing but a few ready meals and some snacks for Kyle and Isaac. The shelves that once held Robert’s well-thumbed paperbacks were messy and cluttered, covered in toys, magazines and other junk that had randomly been tossed there. Cain’s work boots and Liv’s trainers were scattered across the floor instead of placed on the rack by the door, a stack of DVD boxsets that she and Vinny had been working their way through were piled up by the TV. The sofa cushions were creased and squashed, the coffee table wonky as if someone had bumped into it and hadn’t bothered to put it back. There was a massive stain on the rug where someone had spilled a drink.

Now that Aaron looked – _really looked_ – the Mill was almost unrecognisable to him. The home that he and Robert had created together, the one they’d built with such care, no longer existed. This house looked different, smelled different, sounded different, _felt_ different.  Aaron hadn’t noticed, or perhaps hadn’t cared, and now, seeing the place so changed made it hard to remember it as it once was. The place where he’d been happy with his husband, happier than he’d ever thought he could be.

Yet another thing in his life he’d let fall apart.

He was jolted out of his stupor by the loud buzz of the doorbell, shortly followed by a series of rapid knocks. When he opened the door, a frantic-looking Victoria stared up at him, Harry gurgling in her arms. Luke, her permanent shadow these days, hovered awkwardly behind her, not meeting Aaron's gaze. He’d never quite stopped being terrified of Aaron ever since he'd trashed his home with a golf club, and Aaron was quite happy to keep it that way.

“Hey, what’s up?” 

Instead of answering, Victoria nudged past him and practically charged into the living room. Aaron closed the door in Luke’s face (enjoying a brief moment of satisfaction as he did so) and followed her. She didn’t seem to even notice her boyfriend’s absence, face ashen as she looked at him with wet eyes.

“Vic, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I – Seb. It’s Rebecca, she… ”

Aaron’s stomach gave a painful lurch, both at hearing the name of the little boy he hadn’t seen in a year, and at the distress in Vic’s voice.

“What, what about Seb? What’s happened, is it Rebecca’s head? Is she not well?”

“She’s… she’s… ” Vic bit her lip hard, chin quivering. “Rebecca’s dead.”

He froze, breath catching in his throat.

“Ross gave the police my number, they called and told me, said they needed to speak to Seb’s family. Aaron… we have to get to Liverpool.”


	2. Chapter 2

Aaron broke just about every speed limit on the road, Victoria anxiously biting her nails in the passenger seat. They’d left Harry with Diane, who’d clutched both their hands and made them promise to call her as soon as they had any news.

An agonising couple of hours later, they were both being led to a private room where they were met by a police officer and a social worker who introduced herself as Carla. As Aaron perched on the edge of his seat, leg jiggling anxiously, they explained what had happened.

Rebecca was, as they’d told Victoria on the phone, dead. It seemed she’d crossed a road without looking, stepping right out in front of a lorry. Thankfully, Seb hadn’t been there to witness it, as Rebecca had left him with the nanny that day.

“Am I right in saying that Rebecca has no living relatives other than a nephew, who’s currently in prison?” Carla asked, flipping through her notes.

“That’s right,” Vic said, wiping her eyes quickly. “Both her parents are dead, so is her sister.”

“And Sebastian’s father – ”

“Seb,” Aaron interrupted before he could stop himself. “Sorry, just… no one calls him Sebastian.”

Carla paused, before nodding in acknowledgement.

“Seb’s father, Robert, is also in prison?” 

Aaron bit back a scowl at the “also”, the idea of Robert being lumped into the same category as a twisted psycho like Lachlan gnawing at him unpleasantly.

“Yes, he is. But there’s me, Robert’s sister, his stepmum Diane, and then Aaron.” Vic gripped his hand tightly. “He’s Seb’s stepdad.”

“You’re married to Robert, Aaron?”

Aaron cleared his throat, uncomfortable under the scrutiny. “I… technically we’re divorced. We divorced when he went to prison.”

“I see.”

“But I love Seb,” he added hurriedly. “When Robert and I had him living with us… he was our world, both of us loved the bones of him. We even talked about me adopting him when we thought Rebecca wasn’t going to be around – I wanted to be his dad, properly. That hasn’t changed, I swear.”

“Aaron is as much of a parent to Seb as Robert,” Vic added, eyes wide and insistent. “Don’t get me wrong, if Seb going to a blood relative is the only option you’ll consider, I’m completely happy with that. I love him too and I’ll take him in a heartbeat. But… I’m only his aunt. Aaron is his _dad_ , Seb needs him. And we only live two minutes away from each other so he’ll still be with family regardless. Please.”

Carla glanced at the police officer and put her pen down, considering.

“Is there a way for us to verify all of this with Robert?”

“Here.” Vic fumbled for her phone, Aaron quickly copying her. “Um, we have his solicitor’s number, plus the number for the prison he’s in, it’s on the Isle of Wight. Surely you can speak to him?”

“Thank you, we’ll do that as soon as possible.”

“Can we see Seb in the meantime?” Aaron asked. “Please, he’ll have no clue what’s going on, he must be scared.” 

“Ross Barton is looking after him, and it’ll have to stay that way for the moment,” Carla said gently. “But he has no legal rights, it's only until we verify things with Robert and have a definite decision on what should happen next.”

“Well, you’d better get started,” Victoria said firmly. “Because we’re not leaving here without him.”

*

It took hours. Hours of waiting, hours of answering the same questions from Carla over and over again, of calling Diane to give her empty updates. Aaron’s phone buzzed a few times, messages from Liv, later followed by his mum and Paddy, coming through with increasing frequency. He turned his phone off, too stressed to deal with whatever they were trying to throw at him.

And then, finally, Carla came back with a decision.

Seb could come home with them. With Aaron.

“We’ll need to follow up, of course,” Carla reminded them both. “There's official paperwork to be completed, and we have to check that Seb’s settling in, that he’s being cared for properly. But it’s purely a formality; as long as you can provide a safe and stable home, there’s no reason why everything shouldn’t go your way.”

“Did you… ” Aaron swallowed, mouth dry. “Did you speak to Robert?”

“Only through his solicitor. He confirmed that Robert has given his consent for Seb to be released into your care.”

“Okay, that’s… ” Aaron drew in a shaky breath, heart hammering in his chest. “Okay.”

They were driven to Ross and Rebecca’s flat, where a family liaison officer was sitting in the living room with Ross and Seb. Aaron’s stomach flipped at the sight of the child he hadn’t seen in so long, a little bigger, hair a little lighter, but unmistakably Aaron’s. The kid he’d helped raise for two years before he was taken away.

As they all filed through the door, Carla leading the way, Seb looked up at them curiously, eyes darting to each of the new faces.

“Look kid,” Ross gave him a nudge until he stood up. “Aaron and Victoria are here.”

“Hey Seb,” Aaron said gently, crouching down so they were level. “Remember me?”

Seb blinked at him, but otherwise remained still.

“It’s Daddy Aaron.”

At that, something registered in Seb’s eyes, and he smiled, stepping forwards and reaching out for Aaron. 

He remembered him. He recognised him. The sheer relief hit Aaron so hard, he almost passed out.

*

With Victoria’s help, Aaron packed a couple of bags, shoving in everything he thought Seb might want or need over the next few days. Ross agreed to pack up the rest and have it sent to Emmerdale.

“Thanks,” Aaron said quietly, while Vic helped Seb put his shoes on. “And I’m sorry about Rebecca. I know how much you – ”

“Don’t.” Ross shook his head brusquely. “I can’t.”

Aaron nodded. “Got it.”

“Oh, and do us a favour, yeah? When you see Charity, tell her to come get Moses. He’s been here for nearly two weeks now, she was meant to take him back ages ago.” 

Aaron’s eyes drifted to Moses, who was curled up in front of the TV, oblivious to his father’s frustration. 

“Okay…?”

“Unless you can just take him back with you now?”

Aaron and Victoria glanced at each other uncertainly. 

“I suppose… Seb could do with the company on the drive?” Vic said, glancing down at Seb, who was clutching her hand.

“If you’re sure?” Aaron added, absently wondering how a kid like Moses was supposed to cope with two parents so equally uninterested in him.

“Fine by me,” Ross shrugged, scratching his beard as he turned to his son. “Moses, time to go back to Mummy’s! Let’s get your stuff together.”

As Ross got his son ready to leave, Carla stepped towards Aaron and Vic. “I’ll call you both tomorrow, we can go over some more details and set up a followup appointment.”

“So you don’t need anything else from us tonight?”

“No, not tonight.” Her eyes softened as she looked down at Seb, and she nodded. “All you need to do now is take him home.”

*

The drive back to Emmerdale was very quiet. The only sound came from Moses, who had soon conked out and was emitting tiny snores every now and then. Aaron supposed he was used to being shuffled back and forth down this particular stretch of motorway, used to falling asleep in transit. Seb sat in silence, sucking his thumb and staring out of the window. 

“You alright back there, mate?” Aaron asked him at one point, glancing in the rearview mirror. 

Seb gave him a small nod, but still didn’t speak. Aaron supposed that was to be expected, and didn’t push. A few minutes later, Seb followed Moses into sleep, hand dropping from his mouth into his lap as his eyes fell shut.

Victoria glanced to the backseat. 

“He’s had a long day,” she whispered. “I doubt we’ll get much out of him tonight.”

Aaron nodded. “I know, I just… I want to make sure he’s alright.”

“And you will. You’ll take care of him better than anyone could, Aaron. Robert obviously knows that.”

Aaron’s grip on the steering while tightened, the knuckles turning white.

“I wonder what he’s thinking right now,” Vic added, hesitant. “Robert.”

“Suppose we’ll never know.” He couldn’t help the bitterness crept into his voice.

“He might… don't you think this might change things?”

He shook his head. “Vic, I know you're tryna help but I can’t even think that far ahead right now. I’m still stuck on the whole ‘raising a kid on my own’ bit, honestly.”

“No, of course.” The apologetic note in Victoria’s voice sent a pang of guilt to his chest. “I get it. It’s just, I’ve spent so much of this year trying not to think about him – not that I have much luck – and now out of nowhere… ”

“Yeah.”

It was another 20 minutes or so before Aaron spoke again.

‘We never talk about him. Robert,” he added when Vic frowned at him. “We don’t talk about him.”

It was true. For all they were mates, for all they chatted over coffee every couple of weeks or so, Robert’s name hardly ever came up. Especially since Victoria had become increasingly close to the Posners, a decision they’d had to agree to disagree on.

“No,” she said quietly. “It’s… it hurts.”

The way she said it sounded morbid, like Robert had died. But Aaron supposed he couldn’t blame her; he was so far removed from their lives, sometimes it felt like he might as well be. There were days where Aaron even wondered if that would hurt less, before shoving the thought to the back of his mind, ashamed of himself for considering something to unspeakably terrible. It didn't matter if they were apart, a world without Robert still in it was a world Aaron had no interest in. It was with this thought in mind that he said what he said next.

“I think maybe… we should start? I want Seb to know about his dad, I don’t want him to forget Robert any more than he already has.”

Aaron had no idea what he was doing, no clue how he was going to navigate being a single parent overnight. So much would have to change, he had so many decisions to make and no clue what the right ones were… but this was the one thing he was certain of.

“That means… talking about him. Even if it hurts.”

Victoria stared at him, tear-filled eyes glinting in the darkness of the motorway. 

“You’re right, of course we should tell Seb about him,” she said, voice wobbling. “See? You already know what you’re doing, best dad he could possibly have.”

“Let’s hope so,” Aaron muttered, flicking on the windscreen wipers as it started to rain.

“And what you said before, about raising him on your own? It’s not true, y'know? I’ll be there to help, and so will Diane. It’s not just you and Seb, he has a family. We can do this together.”

Aaron swallowed thickly, returning her watery smile. “Thanks.”

“Do your lot know anything about this yet?”

The smile dropped from Aaron’s face. “No, I’ve not had a chance to tell them.”

It was technically true, though Aaron was certain if he’d asked Vic in Liverpool for a brief minute to call Liv or his mum, she would have happily given it to him. But if he was honest with himself, he hadn’t asked because he hadn’t wanted to. He didn’t want to tell them, not until he’d had at least a few hours to wrap his head around everything. Because he had a feeling he knew what they were going to say.

“You think they won’t be onboard with it?” Vic asked, not buying his first answer. She had her brother’s irritating ability to see right through him. Must be a Sugden superpower.

“Honestly? No.”

“Why not?”

“Just a feeling,” Aaron whispered, chewing his lip as a bubble of anxiety swelled inside him.

“Well, it’s not up to them, is it? Tell them they’ll just have to like it or lump it.”

Aaron barked a short laugh, and Vic had the decency to look sheepish. She knew, almost as well as he did, that was easier said than done.

*

As Aaron drove through the dark village and pulled into the Mill’s driveway, the ball of nerves in the pit of his stomach rose all the way to his throat, so forceful he thought he might choke on it.

“It’ll be fine,” Vic said, squeezing his arm. “Why don’t you take Moses over to Charity’s, I’ll get Seb inside?”

Aaron carried a still-sleeping Moses along the street, knocking on the door of Jacob’s Fold until Sarah and Noah answered in their pyjamas. 

“Mum’s drunk again,” Noah muttered as Sarah took Moses out of Aaron’s arms. “She passed out upstairs ages ago.”

“We can look after him, though,” Sarah said, resigned but mature beyond her years. 

Aaron winced at the tired looks on their faces and nodded his thanks, making a silent promise to try and check in on them sometime soon. As he stepped back onto Main Street, he was startled by the sudden slam of the Woolpack’s double doors busting open, light spilling out onto ground.

“Aaron!” His mum came flying down the steps and towards him, shortly followed by Liv and Paddy.

“Hi mum.”

“Oh sweetheart, where’ve you _been_? We were worried sick!”

“I was – ”

“Just because we had a fight doesn’t mean you have to run off!” Liv interrupted, bottom lip quivering. 

“She’s been going spare ever since she realised you were gone. You could’ve at least answered her calls, love.”

Aaron frowned. “I didn’t take off just because we had words, Liv.”

The distress on Liv’s face vanished. “Oh. I thought… I thought you must’ve been upset.”

“Had other stuff on my mind, to be honest.”

Her face twisted in confusion. “Like what?”

God, he really didn’t want to do this right now. “There was something I had to do. An emergency.”

“What – what kind of emergency?” Paddy looked at him with concern, adjusting his glasses. “Aaron, what’s going on? Are you – you’re not in some – some kind of trouble, are you?”

“Why would I be in trouble?”

“No I – I mean I don’t know – well, I’m not saying that I just – ”

Aaron sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “I was sort of hoping to have a bit of time to get settled but… come on, then. I’ll explain at the house.”

And with that, he took off towards the Mill, the rest of them hot on his heels, firing question after question at the back of his head. He ignored them all until he entered the living room, where he found Vinny sitting awkwardly on the sofa and Victoria perched in the armchair, Seb in her lap.

“Cavalry’s here,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

Victoria’s eyes widened as Chas, Liv and Paddy all piled in behind him, stopping short at the sight of the sleeping boy in her arms.

“Is – is that…?”

“Yeah, it’s Seb. Keep your voices down.” Aaron gently took Seb out of Vic’s arms and gave Vinny a sharp look. “Move.”

Vinny scrambled out of the way so Aaron could lay Seb down, shucking off his own coat and covering him with it, relieved when he barely stirred. He then ushered the others to the kitchen, feeling grateful when Victoria rushed to take a place at his side, shoulder to shoulder.

“Aaron,” his mum whispered, perplexed. “What’s he doing here? I thought you weren't allowed contact.”

“Rebecca’s dead. Road accident.”

They all looked at him with shock, and his mum gave a small gasp, bringing a hand her mouth. 

“Oh, that’s awful.”

Aaron nodded wordlessly, because what else was there to say?

“Doesn’t explain why Seb’s here, though,” Liv said after a beat. “What’s Rebecca dying got to do with you?”

“Seb needs a home, someone to raise him. We – Vic and I – have been with a social worker all day, and they’ve decided I’m the best person to take care of him now.”

There was a long silence. His mum and Paddy exchanged alarmed glances, while Liv just frowned at him. He took a deep breath and braced himself, feeling Victoria lean into him ever so slightly, an unspoken support. Liv was the first to speak.

“Sorry, what?”

“What d’you mean, _what_?”

“You can’t just… ” She gestured vaguely. “You can’t bring him to live here just like that, it’s mad!”

“Apparently I can.”

“Aaron, love… ” His mum replied before Liv could, her face pinched with concern. “Are you sure this – this is a good idea?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? 

“Well – it’s just, it’s a lot to take on, isn’t it?” She let out a light, tinkling laugh that he knew was entirely put on. “I’m not sure you’ve thought it through.”

“What’s there to think through? I’ve taken him on before, I was going to _adopt_ him before.”

“That was different, though, that was when you with Robert were together.”

Aaron wished he could say he hadn’t been prepared for this line of questioning, but that would be a lie.

“What, you think just because Robert and I aren’t together anymore that I love Seb any less? That I don’t still see him as my own?”

“You were… only his stepdad, love. A part-time one at that,” his mum said, her tone low. She was probably trying to sound gentle, soothing, but it only served to raise his hackles. “This isn’t the same, being a full-time parent, on your own… it’s _hard_ , Aaron.”

“You wanna try that again without patronising me?”

“I’m not _patronising_ you, I’m telling you the facts. Doing this on your own wouldn’t be easy.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m not an idiot, Mum.”

“And he won’t be alone,” Victoria added, repeating her words from the car. “He has me and Diane.”

“Well sh-shouldn’t you and Diane be the ones to have him, then?” Paddy finally spoke up, pointing at her. “ _You’re_ his family n’all, not Aaron.”

“Come on, Diane’s too old to be raising a three-year-old, Paddy,” Aaron said, exasperated. “And Vic’s already a single mum, she’s got enough on her plate with Harry.”

“This is what Aaron wants,” Vic said, arms folded. “I don’t get why you’re fighting it.”

“What happened to moving on?” Liv said, hands flying to the air. “How are you meant to forget Robert when you’ve got his kid to look after?”

“Who says I want to?”

“Aaron, are you kidding me? You can’t – ”

Liv’s furious words were cut off by Cain’s appearance on the staircase. He paused on the bottom step, raising his eyebrows at the sight before him.

“Alright?”

“Cain, you need to talk some sense into him,” his mum said quickly.

“’Bout what?”

“He’s got this idea in his head that he’s going to try raising Seb _on his own_.”

Cain blinked at her and turned to Aaron. “Back up a bit for me, will you?”

Aaron sighed and gave him a quick rundown of the situation, eyes pleading with his uncle to help him out. Cain listened, briefly craning his neck to glance at Seb fast asleep on the sofa, before nodding slowly.

“Right then,” he said, scratching the stubble on his jaw. “So what’s the problem?”

His mum sputtered an incredulous laugh. “The _problem_?”

“Mum, shush, you’ll wake Seb – ”

She waved an irritated hand in his direction, still looking at Cain imploringly. “Cain, come on, you can’t be serious.”

“If it’s what he wants, then I say let him crack on with it. Lord knows he’ll probably do a better job of it than the kid’s mum was.”

“B-bit harsh, the woman’s just – just _died_.”

At Cain’s hard glare, Paddy shrank back, looking like he regretted ever opening his mouth. Aaron’s mum shook her head in exasperation, realising she wasn’t going to find an ally in her brother, and rounded back on Aaron.

“Aaron, love… I’m not letting you do this.”

Aaron’s mouth dropped open, he heard Victoria release a disbelieving huff.

“What?”

“I’m not letting you… _throw your life away_ like this. Look, I know you care about the lad, because you have a big heart, love, you always have done. But sometimes you have to walk away from things that aren’t your – ”

“Just because you found it so easy to walk away from your kid, doesn’t mean the rest of us can.”

His mum gave a sharp intake of breath, taken aback. And perhaps it was a step too far, but he was feeling backed into a corner. Lashing out with the words he knew would hurt the most, would take away some of the power he could feel her holding over him.

“Aaron!” Liv cried, eyes wide. “Don’t say stuff like that, why’re you bein' so horrible? She’s only tryna help.”

“I’m just reminding her she’s in no position to be giving anyone parenting advice, least of all me.”

“Woah, no,” Paddy interjected, a hand shooting out to silence him. “That’s enough.”

His mum’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t try and turn things back on me when I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.” Aaron had to force himself not to avert his eyes under the force of her ire. “Taking care of someone else’s kid _isn’t_ what’s best for you, this will change your life forever.”

“Oh, because my life’s goin’ so well at the minute, isn’t it?”

“That’s exactly my point!” She snapped, wagging a triumphant finger at him. “You’ve not exactly been at your best recently, barely even taking care of _yourself_ , let alone anyone else. This will set you back even further.”

“Or it could be the making of him,” Cain muttered, taking a few steps towards Aaron so he was facing the others. Siding with him.

“Aaron’s stronger than you think,” Victoria added. “He’s the strongest person I know, why don’t you try supporting him instead of – ”

“Don’t, Vic,” Aaron briefly touched her back. “It’s fine.”

He looked his mum in the eye, holding her gaze as tried one last time to make her understand.

“You know what, Mum? You’re right, I’ve not been taking care of myself lately, I know that. But that doesn’t mean I _can’t._ And now, Seb coming back to me, it’s like… I have a new purpose, y’know? I have something – _someone_ to be better for, to _try_ for.” 

“Oh, that’s nice,” Liv said, unimpressed. “What, we weren’t enough for you? Not worth the bother?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just… ” Aaron sighed and shook his head. What was the point? “Look, you’ve all said your piece but that’s enough now, okay? This is what I want. Robert’s given his permission, the social worker’s given the go-ahead, Seb’s here now and he’s not goin’ anywhere. It’s done.”

“But Aaron – ” His mum tried once more.

“No, this is my choice. It’s not up to you.”

The silence rang loudly through the room, and Aaron could see his mum’s entire face shift as she realised she’d lost the battle, eyes turning dark and mouth pressed into a thin line. He recognised that look; it was the one she used to give him back when he’d refused to stay away from Robert, and when he refused to accept her bringing Gordon back into their lives.

“Clearly,” she said eventually, cold as ice. “Well, if that’s how you feel, we’ll just see ourselves out, shall we?”

But she didn’t move, clearly waiting for… something. For him to apologise, to take back his words, to ask her for help.

She’d have a long wait.

“If you wouldn’t mind. It’s been a long day, I’m ready for bed, to be honest.”

She blinked, before nodding shortly and walking quickly towards to exit, heels clacking on the floor. “Fine. Paddy, we’re leaving.”

Paddy trailed behind her, looking forlorn.

“Well,” Cain said in the wake of their departure. “You don’t half know how to drop a bombshell, I’ll give you that.”

“You think I’m doing the right thing, though?”

“Don’t matter what I think.”

“Sort of does to me.”

“Well, in that case,” Cain’s mouth twitched into a small smile and he clapped Aaron on the shoulder. “Course you should be the kid’s dad, there’s no one better.”

“That’s what I keep telling him.” Vic rolled her eyes, before looking at him with slight concern. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” he shrugged. “They were never gonna change my mind.”

“Course not,” she grinned and checked her watch. “Right, I’d better go fetch Harry from Diane’s, fill her in on everything. You gonna be okay for the night?”

“We’ll be fine. And thanks for today, you’ve been a godsend.”

“Don’t be daft,” she said warmly, zipping her jacket up. “Right, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. Night.”

“Night.”

Cain went back upstairs soon after she left, then it was just Aaron, Liv and Seb, as well as Vinny still hovering by the fireplace. Frankly, Aaron had forgotten he was even there, and he was suddenly uneasy over how much the lad had seen and heard. Liv remained leaning against the staircase with her arms folded and her brow furrowed.

“What’s up with your face?”

“Nothin’.”

“Look, if you wanna have another go at me, it’ll have to wait until morning. Though I’m warning you now, you’ll be wasting your breath.”

Liv shrugged and looked away, lips pursed. 

“Right, well… it’s late, so I think it’s best if we turn in. I wasn’t kidding about being ready for bed.”

“Uh, speaking of turning in,” Vinny piped up, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Kind of… need my bed back.”

He gestured to where Seb was lying on the sofa. Aaron looked between the sleeping toddler and Vinny, even more incensed by his presence than he’d been when Liv had first moved him in.

“No problem,” he said stonily, rounding the sofa to gather Seb up in his arms. “We’ll get out of your way.”

He climbed up the stairs without a backward glance, closing the bedroom door against the sound of his sister already hissing angrily to Vinny, no doubt still up in arms over what had just taken place.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he smiled as Seb opened his eyes, finally waking up. He deposited him on top of the duvet. “Remember this room? You used to hang out in here all the time.”

Seb had spent hours upon hours in their bedroom when he was a baby, propped against Robert’s chest as he gave him a bottle or rocked him to sleep. Then, when he got a little older, crawling all over the covers in the middle of the night or early in the morning, lightly kicking them in their chests or faces as he explored. Screeching with delight when Robert tickled him or Aaron blew raspberries on his stomach, and lying sandwiched between them as they read him a bedtime story.

Now, Seb blearily took in his surroundings and stuck his thumb in his mouth again.

“You don’t mind sleeping in here with me for a bit, do you?”

He shook his head, and let Aaron lead him to the en-suite to brush his teeth and change him into his pyjamas. 

“Still don’t feel like talking, eh?” Aaron asked, as he pulled a dinosaur-covered top over Seb’s head, brushing the hair from his eyes. Before they left Liverpool, Ross told them Seb had barely spoken a word since he’d been told his mummy was gone and wouldn’t be coming back. Carla had done her best to allay Aaron’s fears, reassuring him that the reaction wasn’t unusual.

“Give him time,” she’d said gently. “Then if nothing changes after a few days, give me a call and I’ll see if I can put you in touch with someone.”

Aaron guessed _someone_ meant a counsellor, and he tried not to let it worry him too much. If that was what was needed, then he’d deal with it. In the meantime, he settled for scooping Seb up again and taking him back to the bedroom.

“That’s okay, sometimes I don’t feel like saying much, either.”

He pulled the duvet back and tucked Seb in on Robert’s side, before changing into his own pyjamas and sliding in next to him.

“Comfy?”

Seb nodded, his old stuffed elephant that Aaron had dug out from the bottom of the wardrobe tucked under his arm.

“You’re on Daddy Robert’s side of the bed, that’s where he slept.”

At Seb’s blank look, Aaron leaned down and pulled a photo album out from under the bed, quickly flipping through it until he found the page he wanted. It was the picture of him and Robert on their wedding day, both grinning from ear to ear, with Seb in their arms and that ridiculous flower wall Robert had insisted on as their backdrop. It used to be Seb’s favourite photo to look at, probably because of all the bright colours in it. He was always grabbing for the framed one they used to keep in his room.

Aaron held the open album out to Seb, letting him stare at the picture. For a moment, nothing. And then, Seb suddenly raised his hand and lightly smacked it down, landing on Robert’s chest.

“Daddy,” he said, face lighting up, and Aaron had to bit his lip against the tears that had been threatening to overwhelm him all day. He'd nearly forgotten what Seb's voice sounded like.

“Yeah, that’s Daddy. And you, and me.”

“Where’s Daddy?” Seb looked up at him questioningly, before glancing around the room as though Robert might pop up at any moment.

“He’s… very far away right now, mate. But I promise he’s thinking of you and he loves you so much. Same as me.”

Seb took this in and looked back at the photo, while Aaron stared at the top of his head and wondered how much of his already-complicated life the little boy was able to comprehend.

“Some more?” Seb said, pulling at the laminated pages clumsily, struggling with the weight of them.

“You wanna see some more pictures?”

“Yes, please.”

Aaron flipped the album to the first page and tucked Seb under his arm.

“This is us three at the zoo,” he said, pointing down at the photo of their first proper day out as a family. “You were only tiny, look.”

They stayed like that long into the night, Aaron turning the pages and telling Seb stories to accompany each photo, until Seb eventually drifted off again, head lolling against Aaron’s chest.

Aaron carefully closed the album and put it to one side, before tucking the duvet over Seb’s shoulders and lying down beside him. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am once again totally making things up with social services - i have no idea if aaron would be allowed to take seb but who cares? my fic my rules ;)


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days were a strange, surreal blur. 

Aaron spent almost all of his time with Seb, taking multiple days off work or simply bringing him along if he really couldn't avoid going in.  He also met up with Vic and Diane several times, letting the little boy spend time with them and get to know them properly again. Diane was delighted to see Seb again, spoiling him rotten with early Christmas gifts and treats every time she saw him.

At first, Seb remained quiet, only really speaking to Aaron and shying away from everyone else. Until, that was, Isaac set his sights on him. Aaron’s three-year-old cousin didn’t seem to mind the fact that his new housemate didn’t have much to say, happily pulling him along to play with him and talking to him all the while. At first, Seb just watched him, clearly unsure what to make of the other boy. But about halfway through their second day together, he started talking back. Soon, the pair of them were thick as thieves, nattering away to each other at the speed of light. 

After that, Seb spoke with no trouble. He was still a little quiet, perhaps, but for all Aaron knew, that was how he’d been before Rebecca’s death. He’d been a fairly quiet baby, too, so he wasn’t too concerned. He enquired after Rebecca once or twice, Aaron having to gently remind him that she wasn't around anymore, but otherwise seemed happy enough.  It was incredible how resilient kids could be, how quickly they bounced back.

That was one worry Aaron could check off his list, leaving him free to focus on more pressing ones.

Like the state of the Mill and Carla’s upcoming visit.

The house had already been bursting at the seams, and now that they had an extra child living there, things were becoming unmanageable. As promised, Ross had sent along the rest of Seb’s things. The only problem was, Aaron realised, he had nowhere to put them. The boxes were piled high against against the living room’s back wall, gaming chairs pushed into the corner in an attempt to make space for them. Between Seb’s boxes, and Vinny’s bedding and belongings strewn everywhere, they could barely move.

Seb was still staying in Aaron's room, there was nowhere else to sleep. He didn’t seem to mind, and Aaron didn’t either, finally getting a good night’s sleep knowing someone he loved was there beside him. But that couldn’t last forever, and it definitely wouldn’t go down well with social services. He had to find a solution, fast, otherwise  Carla would take one look at the place, swiftly change her mind about his capabilities as a father and sweep Seb right out from under his nose.

For her part, Liv mostly ignored them both. She was usually out with Vinny most evenings, the two of them going out with people from her college or just spending time alone together. Even Mandy couldn’t get a look in with Vinny these days; more than once she’d turned up at their door with a hopeful expression on her face, only for it to vanish when Aaron told her that her son wasn’t there. Aaron almost felt sorry for her – almost.

And when Liv _was_ at home… it was awkward. Aaron could feel her watching him and Seb, resentment coming off her in waves. Even when Aaron and Seb walked down the street, he sometimes spotted her and his mum huddled together outside the pub, whispering urgently to each other, only to stop short as soon as they spotted him passing. Aaron didn’t have to be a genius to guess what they were saying.

Liv had yet to acknowledge Seb’s presence, and Aaron could sense the little boy’s wariness of her. He gave her a wide berth, sticking to Aaron’s side like glue, only venturing away to play with Kyle and Isaac. He’d initially been a little off with Cain, too, but that had changed when Cain had presented him with a chocolate-filled advent calendar along with the ones he’d bought for the boys, giving him an usually soft smile as he did so. After that, Seb had realised Cain’s bark was far worse than his bite, and began to relax around him.

He was even relaxed enough to let Cain take him to the park along with Isaac one day, giving Aaron some much needed time to get some work done. He sat in the kitchen, laptop in front of him as he looked at the increasingly-dismal figures. 

But before he could get more than 20 minutes into it, Liv came through the door, stopping short at the sight of him there. It was rare for the two of them to be alone in a room for longer than a minute or two these days, so he wasn’t surprised by the uncertain look she gave him. He felt it too.

“Thought you had a shift today,” he said, clicking through his emails. 

“Heating's not working, they had to close the shop,” she said, slinging her bag off her shoulder to the floor. “Thought you had Seb?”

“Cain’s taken him and Isaac out so I can do some work.”

Liv nodded, before moving to the kitchen.

“Vinny and I are gonna have a Tarantino marathon on Saturday,” she said as she started to make herself a snack. “Fancy joining, make a day of it? We’ve not hung out in ages.”

She looked at him hopefully, like she was trying to offer a small olive branch.

“Sorry, promised Seb I’d take him to see the Christmas lights in town.”

Also there was nothing worse he could think of than third-wheeling his little sister and her boyfriend on a movie date.

The smile dropped of her face instantly.

“Course you did,” she muttered, turning her back to him.

“Don’t suppose you want to come with?”

“No thanks, I’ll stick to Tarantino.”

“Well, maybe don’t have it playing in the living room when we get back, eh? It’s not exactly kid-friendly stuff.”

“Don’t let him look, then. Just take him upstairs,” she snapped, banging around the kitchen with excessive force. She came to a halt when she flung open her designated food cupboard.

“Why is Vinny’s food in my cupboard?” 

“I needed to make space for Seb’s food, so you two’ll have to share for now.”

“What?” She scowled, rapidly pulling packets of Vinny's biscuits and crisps out. “That’s not fair, why don’t you put his stuff in _your_ cupboard?”

“Liv,” Aaron sighed wearily. Just once, he’d like to get through a conversation with her without it turning into a fight. He was so tired of fighting. “I don’t get what the problem is, it’s not like it doesn’t fit. You’ve barely got anything, the two of you live on takeaways most of the time!”

Liv stared at him for a moment, before slamming the cupboard door shut loudly.

“How much longer are you planning on keeping this up, then?”

“Keeping what up?”

“Seb bein’ here. Even you have to admit this isn’t working.”

“If you’ve got any solutions, I’m all ears.”

“Send him back!”

Aaron closed the laptop and gave her a hard look. “He’s not a _dog_ , Liv, he’s a kid. My kid. He’s goin’ nowhere.”

“He’s just taking up space, Aaron,” Liv whined. “Space that we don’t have.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t let your boyfriend take over the living room – ”

“His name is _Vinny_ , and you cannot seriously be tryna start that again. He’s here now, he’s been here longer than Seb!”

The argument that Seb had technically been there long before she’d even _met_ Vinny was on the tip of Aaron’s tongue, but he held it in. He had a feeling it wouldn’t get him far.

“Seb’s family, though.”

“He’s Robert’s family, not yours. And definitely not mine,” she said, jabbing a finger to her chest.

“Mum been in your ear, has she?”

“She feels the same, yeah, but that doesn’t make me wrong.”

It was uncanny, the way she was practically  parroting the words he'd expected from his mum more than anyone else. Her thought he'd escaped the worst of his mum's wrath, since she'd apparently decided on giving him the silent treatment instead. Probably hoping he'd come begging for forgiveness. Liv seemed to have taken it upon herself to speak for her. 

“I don’t get it,” he said, baffled. ”You were up in arms when Rebecca took Seb away, you said he belonged here with us. You wanted him to stay.”

“Because I knew him leaving would make you sad, and I didn’t want you to be sad. And Robert had pissed me off when he just let her take him away.”

“Right," Aaron frowned. “So that's what it was about, spiting Robert. Makes sense now.”

“It wasn't just that! I did care, I... things were just different.”

“You’re right, they were. But… just because things are different doesn’t mean that Seb matters any less to me. Nothing will change that. I’m not letting him go.”

“And when social services see where you’ve got him living?” Her tone switched from frustrated to smug. “Come on Aaron, we both know how those people operate. Soon as they take one look at this place, you’ll have to let him go whether you like it or not. I’m just tryna save you the trouble of waiting ’til then. He needs to go. I want things back the way they were.”

Aaron stared at her, fists clenched, before shaking his head and grabbing his coat. Liv was normally the one to storm out in a rage, but right now he was overwhelmed with the urge to take a leaf out of her book. 

He stalked up the driveway and onto the gravel path, marching away with no destination in mind. He circled the village a few times, until his heart rate calmed and his breathing slowed. As he approached the Mill for the sixth time, he slowed to a stop, staring up at the house. Let his eyes travel over the familiar exterior; pale yellow bricks, the red porch roof, the classic framed windows, the potted plants lining the drive.

Everything he and Robert had meticulously chosen together. Well, technically Robert had been the one to choose and Aaron had gone along with it, happy with whatever as long as the two of them could finally have a roof over their heads. A home to call their own, a place where he felt happy and content.

Gazing up at the building in front of him confirmed what he already knew – those feelings didn’t come anymore. They hadn’t for some time, not in over a year. Liv’s angry, frustrated words echoed in his head, her refusal to accept Seb, her repeated insistence that the Mill was hers alone to do with as she pleased.

Aaron took one last look at the house before turning away, mind made up.

_Fine, we’re going._

*

Aaron didn’t waste any time.

That same day, he went to meet Cain in the park, quickly telling him of his plans while they watched the boys play on the climbing frame together. If Cain had been shocked by his decision, he didn’t show it. 

“Whatever you need, you don’t even have to ask for my – Isaac no! Get that out of your mouth, son, right now!”

And that had been that.

A few days later, he'd sold the scrapyard.

He didn’t tell anyone (other than Cain) that he was doing it, making sure Vinny and Paul were both off the premises when Callum, the bloke he intended to sell to, came around to have a proper look. It hadn’t been hard to find a potential buyer; Aaron had been in the game long enough to have contacts who could tell him who was on the lookout for a new premises and wouldn’t hang about with his decision.

Aaron moved fast, faster than he probably should have. Maybe he should’ve haggled the price a bit, done a background check on Callum, found out what he intended to do with the place. But the bloke could pay on the spot, and Aaron wasn’t in a position to say no. They spent a long morning working out the details, Callum's solicitor spoke to Aaron’s solicitor, contracts were exchanged and the deal was done. The money was in Aaron’s account, and he had a little under two weeks to wrap things up and hand over the keys, so to speak.

Between that and the money from his and Robert’s old savings account (the one they’d been using for surrogacy money that Aaron previously hadn’t been able to bring himself to touch), he had what he needed to get him and Seb out. Now he just had to figure out where the hell they was going. 

*

The next morning, Aaron decided to take Seb to the cafe, fed up with the tension in the Mill’s kitchen. He and Liv had gone back to barely speaking, but there was a new, frosty atmosphere to it that he couldn’t stand.

“Will they have Christmas biscuits?” Seb asked, squeezing Aaron’s hand as they walked through the cold drizzle.

“Probably.”

“Gingerbread man? Please?”

Aaron chuckled as he pushed the door open, steering them into the warmth of the busy cafe. Some things didn't change.

“Let’s see what they have, eh? I'm sure we can find you somethin'.” 

“Good morning, you two!” Jimmy smiled jovially from behind the counter, a tragic-looking tinsel tie around his neck. “It’s wonderful to see you again, young Seb. I suppose you don’t remember me?”

Seb shook his head, half-burying his face into Aaron’s leg.

“He’s a bit shy,” Aaron said, running a hand through Seb’s hair. “Still getting used to everything, y’know?”

“Of course, that’s to be expected,” Jimmy nodded, lowering his voice apologetically. “What can I get you, then?”

Aaron ordered Seb a hot chocolate and a gingerbread man (and the same for himself), and sat them both at the only free table in the corner. Seb crawled into his lap, clinging to his collar as Aaron broke the biscuit into smaller pieces for him. No sooner had they started to tuck in than Laurel appeared.

“D'you mind if I just perch here for a minute?” She asked hopefully. “I’ve got a few minutes before I’m supposed to meet Jai, and I don’t fancy hanging around out in that weather.”

Aaron liked Laurel. While they didn’t have much to do with each other, there’d been an unspoken connection since the day he’d brought Ashley back to the village all those years ago. Not to mention, she’d been a lifesaver with the amount of Dotty’s old stuff she’d given him and Robert for Seb when he was a baby and growing every five seconds.

“Course not.”

Laurel smiled gratefully and sank into the chair opposite.

“Hello Seb,” she said, addressing him much more softly than Jimmy initially had. Aaron supposed she knew how carefully to tread with children like him, after dealing with Archie. “I’m Laurel.”

“’Lo,” Seb said around a mouthful of gingerbread.

“So,” Laurel looked up at Aaron. “How are you both… settling in, then?”

“Alright, thanks. Considering… ” Aaron gestured wordlessly, not wanting to risk mentioning Rebecca’s name.

“Well, if you ever need a babysitter, you know where I am. Dotty would love the company, I’m sure.”

Aaron sighed gratefully. “Honestly, I might have to take you up on that. Cheers Laurel, I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, it’s no bother,” she waved his thanks off easily, taking a sip of her tea. “I get it, trust me, single parenting is no picnic. Not that I’d ever have given my lot up for the world.”

“How’re things with you, then?

“Oh you know, busy as usual, a million and one things to do. Jai and I have actually decided to move in together, I’m taking Arthur and Dotty to live with him and the Sharmas. And then maybe into a new place, who knows.”

“Wow, congrats.”

“Thank you,” she smiled, cheeks turning pink. “Of course, I have a to-do list as long as my arm. I must be mad, moving my whole life a few weeks before Christmas!”

“If anyone can make it work, you can,” he said as he wiped Seb’s mouth with a napkin. “And it’s not like you’re going far, how hard can it be?”

“Well, Jamie wasn’t too happy about me ending my tenancy so suddenly, for starters. I don’t think he fancies trying to find someone to rent it before the end of the year, but he’ll just have to deal with it. Besides, last I heard, Kim was thinking about putting the place on the market anyway so he mightn’t even have to bother.”

“Is she?” Aaron’s head shot up from Seb, interest peaked instantly.

Laurel hummed. “Yes, Jai told me, he overheard her discussing it with Al on speakerphone and gave me a heads up. That’s actually what brought the whole ‘moving in together’ conversation on, actually, so really she’s probably done us a – ”

“Have you got Kim’s number, by any chance?”

Laurel paused, eyebrows raised. “Kim’s... phone number?”

“Yeah. Please.”

“Oh, er, yes.” Laurel dug her phone out of her pocket and started scrolling. “Are you… interested in the cottage?”

Aaron bit his lip, unsure of how much he wanted to reveal. Especially if it came to nothing. 

“Maybe.”

“Right, well… here you go.” 

She pushed her phone across the table so he could see the number and save it in his own phone.

“Cheers, Laurel.”

*

Within minutes of arriving at the portacabin, he’d settled Seb at the spare desk with some crayons and was dialling the number Laurel gave him.

“Kim Tate.”

“Hi Kim, it’s Aaron. Dingle.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Aaron could practically hear the suspicion in it.

“Aaron. How did you get this number?”

“Asked someone. S’not exactly difficult.”

“Apparently not. Look, if this is regarding Al's complaints about the scrapyard fumes, you need to take it up with – ”

“It’s not about that.”

“Oh? Go on, then.”

“I hear you’re selling Mulberry Cottage.”

Another pause, even more suspicion.

“I might be,” Kim replied, short and sharp.

“What price are you putting it at?”

“What’s it to you?”

“I’m interested in buying it.”

“ _You?_ ” Aaron gritted his teeth and tried not to feel insulted at the derisive chuckle in his ear. “Why would I sell to you? A Dingle.”

“My money’s just as good as anybody’s.”

“I don’t dispute that. Well, actually I do, but that’s not my point. Why should I trust you, after everything that’s happened between my family and yours? After what’s happened with Jamie and that psychotic cousin of yours – ”

“Watch it.”

“Ah, there we go. Point proven.”

“Look,” Aaron huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’ve not even been involved in that stuff, I barely even see Belle and Nate most days. This isn’t about family, it’s strictly business. You need to sell a house, I need to buy one. Times are hard right now, d’you really want the fuss of putting something on the market when I can just take it off your hands?” 

“Why the urgency?”

“Do you care?”

“… I suppose not. But you do realise I wouldn’t just hand the keys over, right? Everything will need to be above board, your solicitor will have to speak to mine, get contracts drawn up. Have you even got a solicitor?”

“Of course I have. I can give him a call today.”

“I see.” There was a note of surprise in Kim’s voice, and Aaron clung to it like a lifeline. “Perhaps you have more of a sensible head on your shoulders than your relatives after all.”

“So? What d’you say?”

Aaron could hear a faint tapping noise, what sounded like long nails on a table.

“Text me your email address, I’ll send you the property details – asking price and such – and we’ll take it from there.”

*

Aaron got the house. He couldn’t quite believe his luck, but Kim actually went ahead and sold it to him in the space of just a couple of days. She seemed as keen to make a quick sale as Aaron was (probably wanting a bit of extra cash for her son’s inevitable legal fees, he thought to himself with a smirk), so although it would take some time for all the paperwork to go through, they came to an agreement that Aaron could move in pretty much as soon as Laurel moved out.

Laurel invited him round as soon as she heard the news. Aaron settled Seb next to Dotty on the rug, the two of them happily engrossed in some game on the iPad.

“So,” Laurel said, manoeuvring around piles of half-packed moving boxes and handing him a mug of tea. “This is… unexpected. I thought _I_ was mad to be moving so fast at this time of year, but I think you’ve got me beat, there.”

Aaron huffed a small laugh and blew on his tea. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

“Tell me to mind my own business… but what’s brought this on?”

“There’s just not enough room for all of us at the Mill. I’ve spoken to the social worker, she’s happy to do her visit once I’ve got us moved into a new house. Seb needs space, somewhere stable… after everything he’s already been though.”

“Of course, that makes sense. So are you selling the Mill, then?”

“Not mine to sell,” Aaron shrugged, before continuing at Laurel’s confused look. “It was paid for with Liv’s money, and Robert and I put it in her name when we bought it.”

“Oh,” she blinked. “That was… unconventional of you.”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” Aaron said with a rueful smile. “But it doesn’t matter now; this way she still gets to keep her home – no mortgage to pay or anything – so she’s still got security, somewhere to put down roots if she wants to. Which is all I ever wanted for her, really.”

“And besides… ” Aaron hesitated and lowered his voice, eyes darting away from her to look at Seb playing. “I don’t think I can stay there anymore, not without Robert. It’s – it’s too hard. And probably not healthy.”

It was the first time he’d admitted it out loud. The way he’d increasingly felt as though he was trapped in the decaying tomb of his old life.

Laurel watched him carefully, before nodding and laying a gentle hand on his arm. “I understand. There’ve been days when I could barely stand to be in this place, when all I could see was Ashley.” 

She sighed, looking around the living room. 

“I have so many memories of us here, of our life together. And him not being there anymore, it’s… ” she trailed off, before shaking her head and giving him a small smile. “Suppose that’s part of why I’m so excited to move in with Jai. Fresh start and all that.”

Aaron smiled back. “Yeah. Fresh start.” 


	4. Chapter 4

“You’ve done _what_?” Victoria cried, dropping her teacup to the table with a loud thud.

“Say it a little louder, why don’t you?” Aaron hissed. “I don’t think the people sat outside heard you.”

He glanced around the cafe to see Nicola’s ears practically twitching from behind the counter.

“Sorry, just – you caught me off guard,” Vic said, dropping her voice to a hushed whisper. “So, when you say you’ve bought Laurel’s house, you mean… literally bought it? Deposit paid and everything?”

“We can move in from the 18th,” Aaron said, sipping his coffee.

“Well that’s… wow. When I asked if you were up to much next week, this wasn’t the answer I was expecting.”

“But listen, you can’t tell anyone, alright? Not even Diane, she’ll have spread it round the whole village by teatime, and I can’t have it getting back to Liv before I tell her myself.”

“Is that… why you’re moving out, then? Because of Liv? I know things haven’t been great between the you’s two… ”

Aaron grimaced, before giving her a quick rundown of what things in the Mill had been like recently – hell, since before Seb even came along. From the arguments about mess and space, to the fact that she’d let Vinny take over most of the ground floor, to the way she’d insisted that she wanted Seb out of her house. _Her_ house, not Aaron’s.

“God,” Vic said, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise things had gotten so bad. Aaron, you can’t live like that.”

“Hence the move.” He gave her a wry smile. “I know it might seem a bit drastic, but I don't really have a choice. And I think – hope – it’ll be good for Seb.”

“Of course it will,” she replied, voice full of the relentless optimism she carried around most days. “And more to the point, it’ll be good for _you_. Now that I think about it, it’s perfect. New home, new start, I’m made up for you.”

Aaron’s smile faded slightly at her words.

“What?” She looked at him with concern. “You having doubts?”

“No, I’m not, it’s just… it’s daft.”

“Try me.”

“The Mill, the scrapyard… it sort of feels like I’m giving up the last pieces of Robert I had.”

She looked at him sadly, understanding washing over her face.

“Robert invested in the scrapyard, I never would’ve even had my own business if it weren’t for him. And the Mill… he put his heart and soul into it, Vic. He built us a home, the first real home I ever had.” He blinked rapidly, fighting the tears that threatened to surface. “They’re part of him, of _us_. I dunno, letting those things go feels like… I’m letting him down, somehow.”

Victoria didn’t speak for a moment, chewing her lip as she watched him. Then, casting a quick look around the cafe to check no one was listening in, she leaned forwards and grabbed his hand.

“And which do you think Robert would prefer? You living somewhere that doesn’t feel like home anymore, or letting it go so you can make a new one? Clinging onto the scrapyard out of some sense of loyalty to him, or using it to pay for safe roof over your head and Seb’s?”

She squeezed his fingers with her own.

“I don’t know what goes through my stupid big brother’s head most of the time, I really don’t. But one thing I _do_ know is that… all he’s ever wanted is for you to be happy, Aaron. If this is the best way for you to be happy, then you have to go for it.”

Deep down, he’d already known that, he had. But somehow, hearing it aloud from someone else, from the only person who came close to loving Robert as much as he did, sent a wave of relief washing over him.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

“Course I am,” she grinned, before settling back in her seat. “And besides, you’ve got the biggest piece of Robert there is now. Seb’s the double of him.”

“Definitely got his dad’s sweet tooth, I’ll give you that.”

They both chuckled, before Victoria sobered slightly.

“So, when are you actually telling Liv, then?”

“Er… ”

“Putting it off, are we?”

“A bit.”

Truth be told, he had no clue how to bring his impending move up with his sister. Every time he thought he’d worked up the nerve to start the conversation, the words died in his mouth.

“Not being funny, but the 18th’s barely a week from now.”

“Yep.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m aware.”

“Look, if she doesn’t like it – ”

“Which she won’t.”

“Which she won’t. It doesn’t matter. Liv can kick off as much as she likes, it’s done now, and it’s not like you’re leaving the village or anythin'. She’s an adult, she’ll get over it.”

“And when she tells my mum and Paddy?”

Vic’s face blanched. “Er… barricade the doors?”

“Great.”

She sighed, before smirking at him. “I mean, if you want… we could always do a stealth mission.”

“A what?”

“Y’know, stealth mission! We wait until she’s out of the house, maybe at work or something, pull a van into the driveway and load your stuff in it, move everythin’ into the new house pronto. Then bish bash bosh, you’re out of there by the time she gets back. She can’t argue if it’s already a done deal.”

Aaron choked a laugh. “Bit sneaky, innit?”

“Sometimes sneaky is the best option,” she shrugged, tapping her teaspoon against her cup. “And speaking of loading up, I hope you’re planning on taking all the furniture you and Robert bought, by the way. Y’know, since you and Liv are currently splitting hairs over who paid for what, it’s only right you keep what’s yours.”

He crinkled his nose at her, torn between incredulity and amusement.

“You’re such a Sugden sometimes, y’know that?”

*

Despite his lighthearted joking with Victoria, Aaron didn’t want to pull the rug from under Liv’s feet completely. He had to tell her the truth, he knew that. And he was running out of time.

Day after day went by, nerves somersaulting in Aaron’s gut every time he looked at his sister, who was too busy ignoring his existence to notice his discomfort. No matter what had happened between them, he knew he was about to drop a bombshell, he knew this would probably hurt her. Not to mention make her more furious than ever, which he was dreading.

When the morning of the 17th dawned, he woke up full of resolve. Today would be the day, he just had to find the right moment.

As it turned out, that moment would present itself just a few hours later.

*

“Daddy?” Seb said from his usual spot in the portacabin, drawing while Aaron sorted through the last few drawers of old paperwork and stationery, chucking nearly everything he found in the bin.

“Hm?”

“D’you like my card?” He held up a folded over piece of paper, the front covered in rough crayon drawings of Santa, a Christmas Tree and what Aaron was fairly certain was supposed to be a reindeer.

“Wow, it’s brilliant, mate. Who’s it for, then?”

“Daddy.”

Aaron froze.

“Daddy Robert?”

Seb nodded, swinging his legs and holding the card out to him. “Can you send it?”

Aaron took the drawing slowly, staring down at the pictures. 

“And you write inside?” He scrambled off his chair and pointed at the blank interior. As enthusiastic as he was with his drawings, he wasn’t quite old enough for writing much more than a few wobbly letters yet.

“Yeah… course I can.” Aaron grabbed a pen. “What d'you want it to say?”

“Dear Daddy… Merry Christmas… Love from Seb. Four kisses.” He held up four fingers to demonstrate.

“Got it. And look, here’s an envelope to put it in.” He plucked an unused envelope out of the pile he’d been about to throw away.

Seb grinned brightly, hopping back onto his chair. “Will he send one back?”

Aaron swallowed thickly. “I’m sure he will.”

Seb nodded, satisfied. “Can I have my sandwich now, please?” 

“You hungry already?”

Seb’s stomach grumbled as he nodded. Aaron laughed and checked phone, only to realise that it was midday already.

“Okay, one sec.” He unzipped his bag and stuck a hand in, only to realise their lunchbox wasn’t in there. He swore under his breath, realising he’d gone and left it on the kitchen counter.

“Sorry mate, Daddy’s been an idiot and left the sandwiches at home. We’ll have to go get them.”

Just as he was about to help Seb put his coat on, Jimmy came flying through the door, shivering. 

“God, it’s freezing out there!”

“Didn’t know you were in today?”

“Well, Nico said I was getting under her feet at the cafe so I’ve been banished,” he said cheerfully, taking a seat behind his desk and eyeing the chaos of paper and bin bags all over Aaron’s side of the cabin. “You look busy, I won’t be in your way too, will I?”

“Nah, you’re fine. Actually, would you mind keepin’ an eye on this one while I nip back to the house? Forgot to bring our dinner in.”

“Of course not, I'd be more than happy to hang out with Seb,” he smiled at him warmly. “I might even do some drawing with him, if he doesn’t mind sharing?”

Seb smiled back and nodded. He was still a little shy around him, but like most kids, he was unable to resist giving into Jimmy's gentle giant persona.

“You gonna be okay here for a few minutes? I’ll be right back with your sandwich, yeah? And I’ll pop your card in the post while I’m out.” 

As he sat in the car, Aaron sighed heavily and stared down at Seb’s card. After a minute’s contemplation, he tapped at his phone and pulled up Robert’s solicitor from his contacts. It was a call he should’ve made weeks ago, ever since he’s brought Seb home.

“Hello?”

“Paul, hi, it’s Aaron Dingle. Robert Sugden’s husb – ex-husband.”

“Mr Dingle,” Paul didn’t sound surprised to hear from him. “How can I help you? Is this regarding... Sebastian?”

“Yeah, it is. Look, I know Robert’s cut off all contact but there’s things we need to discuss. I was hoping he’d have rung me by now but… Listen, can you please just get in touch with him and tell him to contact me? Even if it’s just one phone call. I need to speak to him about Seb, it’s important.” 

“I’ll contact the prison today, see what I can do.”

“Thank you. Bye.”

Satisfied, he tucked Seb’s card safely in the glovebox, making a mental note to grab some stamps from David's, and started the car. When he arrived back at the Mill and entered the front door, he found the second door to the flat open. He groaned internally; only Vinny had that particularly irritating habit of never shutting it properly, which meant he was in the house. Aaron walked through as quietly as he could, hoping the lad was up in Liv’s room and he wouldn’t have to interact with him.

As he came further into the living room, he saw Liv and Vinny standing huddled at the kitchen table with their back to him, counting out… money?

“Right,” Vinny said, sounding pleased with himself. “Just need one more wage packet and I’ll have paid Aaron back in full. No harm done.”

“Nice one,” Liv said warmly. “I knew you would.”

“Paid me back?” Aaron said loudly, causing them both to jump a mile, whirling around to face him in shock.

“Aaron… ” Liv’s eyes were wide. Guilty.

“I-I thought you’d be – I thought you were at work,” Vinny stammered, the colour swiftly draining from his face.

“Thought wrong, didn’t you,” Aaron said, eyes narrowing as he walked to the kitchen. “I don’t remember lending you any money, mate.”

He let the silence ring loudly across the room, taking a few steps closer to them.

“I… I… ” 

“So I suppose I have to ask you.” He circled them both slowly, grabbing the lunchbox on the kitchen counter before returning to his spot in front of them, hand on his hip. “What is it you’re paying me back for, exactly?”

“It’s rent,” Liv said quickly, causing Vinny to glance at her with obvious surprise. It was a miracle the kid had ever helped Mandy swindle a casino, considering his hopelessly non-existent poker face. “Vinny just… wanted to try and… pay his way, you know? As a thank you for letting him stay here.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow at him. “That true?”

Vinny bit his lip and didn’t speak, tugging at the collar of his woollen jumper.

“If paying a bit of rent is all you were doing, then why the guilty faces? And why did you say ‘no harm done’?” He took a step closer, chest puffed out. “Don’t even think about lying to me.”

Vinny hesitated for a moment, floundering, before his shoulders slumped in defeat.

“It’s not rent money,” he mumbled, readjusting his glasses nervously. “It’s… it’s for the petty cash at the scrapyard.”

“Vinny no, don’t – ” Liv tried, until Aaron raised a silencing hand. 

“And why do you need to put your wages in the petty cash?”

“Because… I took… some money from it. I’m sorry, I was desperate.”

Suspicioun swiftly turned to anger as Aaron took in the pile of cash on the table. “How much?”

“…About £500.”

“ _500 quid?_ Are you kidding me?”

“I’m sorry, alright?” Vinny pleaded. “I didn’t have a choice, I needed it for – to help someone. And I’ve been putting it back as fast as I can!”

“You shouldn’t have taken it in the first place!”

“I know, I know, then when Liv found out – ”

“And when was that, exactly?” Aaron’s eyes flashed to his sister, who was looking more uncomfortable by the second. “How long ago?”

“A few weeks,” she said, voice hushed. “But Aaron, he really was desperate and he’s sorry, aren’t you Vinny?” He began to nod vigorously, only to freeze when Aaron’s glare hardened even further. “And it’s nearly paid back now, is it really so bad?”

Aaron turned to the sofa, putting the lunchbox down on it, before facing them again, fists clenched.

“I gave you a job. I kept you on, even though you’re not exactly physically up to it – or mentally, come to that. Then I gave your dad work too, when he’s even worse at the job than you are. _Then_ I have to put up with you movin’ in here, rent free, on my couch. And _now_ I find out that you’ve been _stealing_ _from me_ and trying to sneak the money back without me knowing?”

As his voice rose to a shout, Liv flinched and dropped her head down, unable to look at him. Vinny opened and closed his mouth a few times, before settling for a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry you got caught.”

“No, I’m… I’m really sorry.”

“How many times has this happened, then? What, you just dip into the pot whenever you feel like it?”

“No, it was just the once!” Vinny insisted, splaying a palm across his chest as he protested his innocence. “I swear, it was a one-off, you have to believe me. It’ll never happen again. Please don’t fire me, Aaron.”

Aaron took a moment to calm down, counting down from 20 – an old counselling trick that he still used to this day. Once he’d reached zero, he nodded to himself, coming to a decision.

“Right. You’ve both just made this really easy for me.”

Liv frowned, finally looking back up at him. “Made what easy?”

“I won’t be firing you, Vinny. Because I don’t actually own the scrapyard anymore.”

Both of their faces twisted in confusion. “What?”

“I’ve sold it to someone else, I need to be off the premises by end of the week at the latest.”

“But – but _why_?”

“It was time.”

“Who’ve you sold it to? Another scrapper?” Vinny asked in alarm. “Will I be kept on?”

“No idea,” Aaron shrugged. “The bloke I sold it to might keep things going as they are or he might bring in his own staff, you’ll have to ask him. Either way, it’s not my problem.”

“But – but Aaron, that’s not fair!” Liv cried, aghast. “Vinny needs this job!”

“Come on, Mandy would never let him go without. Even if there's no more work at the yard, Vinny, it's not like you'll starve until you find summat else.”

Vinny sighed and nodded in defeat.

“You can’t just do this without – ” Liv tried again but Aaron cut her off.

“He’s lucky I’m not already on the phone to this guy and telling him I’ve just found out my employee’s got sticky fingers. I still might.”

“… Suppose you’ll want me out of the Mill too, then?” 

“Vinny, no. That’s not up to him.”

“I’m not chucking you out,” Aaron said, bracing himself. He’d started now, might as well finish it. “I’m the one who’s going.”

There was a long pause. Liv stared at him, uncomprehending.

“I – I don’t understand. What d’you mean?”

“I’m moving out of the Mill and taking Seb with me, I’ve got us a place of our own. That’s partly why I sold the scrapyard, so I could pay the deposit.”

“Aaron, don’t be daft.” An incredulous laugh bubbled out of her. “You can’t _move out_ , this is our home. Yours and mine, together!” 

“It’s your home, Liv, you’ve made that pretty clear. But it’s time for me to move on.”

He saw the exact moment the realisation hit her, when she saw just how serious he was.

“Aaron, no… ” Her face crumpled, tears appearing within seconds. “Please, you can’t leave.”

“I’m sorry Liv, but it’s done.”

“But – but you’re my big brother. You’re supposed to be here to look after me.”

“You’re not a kid anymore, Liv. As you’ve mentioned once or twice recently,” Aaron said with a pained smile. “You don’t need looking after. But Seb… he _does_ , surely you get that? He needs a proper home and there’s not enough room for us all crammed in here together. You said it yourself.” 

She just shook her head violently, chest heaving. Vinny watched her with sad eyes and fiddled with his hands, clearly unsure of whether to stay or go. Part of Aaron wanted to kick him out, didn’t want him there for was about to happen, but he couldn’t bring himself to care enough. His sister’s boyfriend had already witnessed the building pressure between them, what difference did it make if he was around for the inevitable explosion?

“Look, we won’t be going far. It’s Mulberry Cottage, only up the road. I’ve spoken to my solicitor, he’ll sort out getting my name taken off everythin' tied to this place. But it was your money and in your name anyway, so nothing will really change.”

“Everything will change! Aaron, you can’t do this. Please, I know things haven't been great recently, but you – you don’t have to _leave_! We can figure somethin’ out, find a way to make space, fix things. Why don't you ask Cain to move out and then – ”

“Even if things did change… the Mill doesn’t feel like home to me anymore, not without Robert. Ever since I lost him, bein’ here hurts too much. I need a fresh start – for Seb and for me.”

She let out an angry sob, eyes blazing. “Why does everythin’ have to be about Robert _bloody_ Sugden? Why can’t you just be happy? Why am I not _enough_ for you?” 

Aaron stared at her, and let out a long, drained breath. He was so tired.

“Liv… you’re barely a year away from turning 20. I was nearly off to France when I was your age. You need to start living your own life, separate from mine. Us bein’ here together was never gonna be forever, was it?”

Of course, when he used to picture them going their separate ways in his head, it had usually been the other way around. He’d always imagined Liv leaving, off to start a new job, or moving to a big city, while he and Robert stayed behind with Seb and their next child. They’d build their football team while Liv went off to build a life, perhaps coming back for Christmases and holidays.

He didn’t think he’d be the one to leave. 

Tears were streaming down Liv’s face now, nose runny and cheeks bright scarlet.

“But – but I’m your family,” she tried, voice small.

“You are, and me moving down the road doesn’t change that. But Seb’s my family, too – ”

“No he’s not.” Her voice cracked, wet and painful, and she wiped her nose roughly with the sleeve of her hoodie.

“Liv – ”

“He’s _not_ , he’s not your blood, is he?”

Her eyes lit up as she said it, like it was some sort of _Ah-ha, gotcha!_ moment that would force him to rethink. As if, just because he was a Dingle, because he’d spent the last few years hearing his family’s ridiculous rules and codes that never really _meant_ anything, it would stop him in his tracks and make him change his mind.

He clenched his jaw and met her gaze head on, hard as steel.

“See, it’s comments like that I can’t have him hearing.” Liv went pale as she realised just how angry she’d made him. “That’s why he can’t stay, and neither can I. He’s my _son_ in all the ways that count, and I won’t have you or anyone else sayin’ otherwise.”

“But – but Aaron – I just meant that – ”

“I warned you once,” he spoke over her. “That if you didn’t stop trying to control the way I live my life, then me and you were gonna fall out.”

She froze in shock, mouth agape.

“Remember?”

“Yes… ”

“You should’ve listened.”

He didn’t wait to see her reaction, turning away and heading for the door, grabbing the lunchbox on his way out. He closed it gently behind him and returned to the car, resting his head on the steering wheel for a moment, before starting the engine.  He felt sick and shaky, empty stomach churning as he drove through the village. He felt sad too, upset that things had gone the way they had, that his little sister looked up at him with such contempt.

But the further Aaron drove, the further he got from the house and the painful confrontation within it… he realised that none of that compared with the feeling of an enormous weight finally being lifted off his shoulders.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this update took a little while, guys, i wasn't feeling well at the start of the week, which slowed me down a bit. but this chapter is the longest so far, so hopefully worth the wait! :)

The good thing about Liv finally being in the know was that Aaron could actually start packing. Until now, he’d been subtly clearing out as much stuff as he could, sneaking bin bags of unwanted items out of the house, then filling suitcases with his clothes and other belongings, shoving them under his bed out of sight. 

A few hours after their big blowout, he'd returned to the house with more than a little trepidation, only to sigh with relief when the Mill was empty except for Cain. The coast was clear.

“'Crimbo cocktails', they said,” had been Cain’s response when he asked if he knew where Liv and Vinny were. He wrinkled his nose. “Whatever that means.”

Now, a few hours later, Seb was asleep upstairs and Aaron was flitting around the ground floor, shoving various bits and pieces into boxes while Cain watched from the kitchen table.

“So you all sorted for furniture an’ that?” He asked at one point, fingers playing with the label on the beer bottle in his hand.

“Yeah, I think so,” Aaron said distractedly, wrapping Robert’s pasta machine in a piece of old newspaper. “Need to get Seb a bed, but other than that – ”

“You can take Isaac’s, if you want? Or Kyle’s, if you want summat he'll grow into.”

Aaron frowned. “Don’t you need them?”

“Nah, not anymore.” Cain cleared his throat. “Moira and me, we erm… ”

The corner of his mouth briefly quirked upwards, and Aaron instantly knew what had happened.

“What, seriously? You’re back on?”

“Pretty much.”

“Cain, that’s – that’s brilliant! Since when?”

“Couple of nights ago. We… worked some stuff out.”

Aaron wrinkled his nose. “Ugh, spare me the details.”

“Not like that,” Cain snapped. “Well… yeah, like that. But we talked as well and… we’ve decided to give it another go. The boys have already moved back to the farm, I’ll be joining ’em soon.”

“What d’you mean _soon_? Why aren’t you there now?”

“Waitin’ til you get yourself sorted,” Cain said with a shrug. “I’ll head out when you do.”

“Cain… you don’t have to hang around for me. If you wanna go, me an’ Seb will be fine until – ”

He was interrupted by a fierce banging on the door, like someone was slamming their palms violently against the glass, shortly followed by a series a buzzes on the bell.

“Aaron Dingle!” His mother’s furious screech, loud and demanding, could be heard through the walls. “Open this door _right now_!”

Cain raised an eyebrow at him.

“You were sayin’?”

Aaron rolled his eyes and buzzed them in, leaving the door open before retreating further back into the living room. Barely two seconds had passed before his mum was storming into the house, Paddy at her shoulder. 

“ _What_ do you think you’re doing?”

“Speakin’ to me now, are you?”

“Don’t you start with me, young man, I – ”

“Mum, you can see I’m busy,” Aaron snapped, gesturing to the growing pile of moving boxes surrounding him. “So whatever it is you’ve come to say, make it quick, yeah?”

“I’ve spoken to Liv.”

“I bet you have.”

“She was in tears, Aaron,” He fought a wince, pushing down the hint of instinctive guilt he felt at his mother’s disappointed tone. “It took me ages to get what’s happened out of her, she’s that distraught.”

“That’s not my fault.”

“Whose fault _is_ it, then?”

“Aaron,” Paddy spoke up. “We – your mum and I – we just want an explanation. This – moving, it doesn't make any sense.”

“I wasn’t about to stick around somewhere Seb's not wanted. We need a home of our own, I can’t keep living with my little sister. I can’t let social services see Seb in a house where he doesn’t even have his own _bed_. That clear enough for you?”

Aaron’s mum craned her neck to look at Cain in the kitchen.

“Cain, maybe it’s time you and the boys moved on, eh? You staying here was only meant to be temporary, wasn’t it?”

“Actually,” Cain said, rising to his feet and going to take another beer out of the fridge. “I’m out, too. Movin’ back in with Moira.”

She blinked for a moment, taking in the new information, before her face brightened and she turned back to Aaron.

“Right, well, there you go! Once Cain and the boys are gone, Seb can have his own room. Problem solved.”

Aaron gritted his teeth, irked by her unwillingness to even acknowledge the bigger problems at hand.

“I wouldn’t stay even if there _was_ enough space, Mum. I don’t want to live in this house anymore, and I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“But you should’ve _talked_ to me about it, love. Or Paddy, not just… made such a rash decision on your own!”

“He’s not a kid, sis,” Cain interjected, sounding almost as fed up with the conversation as Aaron felt.

As Aaron’s mum opened her mouth to argue further, he cut her off.

“There’s no point havin’ a go at me, Mum. I’m not asking for permission, I’m telling you what’s happening. Mulberry Cottage is officially mine now, it’s done.”

“Well _un_ do it, then!” She cried, jabbing her index finger at him to emphasise her point. “Aaron, I never thought you would be this selfish.”

“Mum – ”

“You cannot seriously be about to leave that poor girl on her own, she’s your responsibility.”

“No, she isn’t. She’s my little sister and I’ll always care about her, of course I will. But we’re both adults now, there's nothin' wrong with us goin' our separate ways. And she’s not _on her own_ , she’s got her boyfriend now, remember?”

“So what, you’re jealous of Vinny?” Paddy let out an incredulous laugh, like the whole thing was some ridiculous joke. “Is that what this is?”

Aaron stared at him. “ _Jealous?_ For God’s sake, Paddy, d’you hear the words that come out of your mouth sometimes?”

“Well what are we _meant_ to think?”

“That I want a new house for me and my son? That he has to be my priority now? It’s really that simple.”

Paddy just shook his head, squinting at him angrily. “Robert flamin’ Sugden’s not even here and he’s _still_ controlling your life.”

Aaron’s fists clenched, jaw set. “Don’t start. Don’t bring Robert into this, he’s got nowt to do with anything.”

The disgruntled huff Paddy let out confirmed Aaron was wasting his breath.

“Your mother’s right, you can’t do this to Liv. It’s not – it’s not right. We’re not about to let you just – ”

“What’re you gonna do, Paddy?” Aaron threw his arms into the air, taking a step back. “Lock me up in my own house again? Through away the keys, hold me here until I back down and say sorry? You really wanna try that again?”

“What’s this?” Cain put his beer down on the table and stalked over slowly.

Paddy’s eyes instantly widened in fear. “N-no, nothing, it’s – that was just – ”

“It was just before Robert’s sentencing,” Aaron said, arms folded around himself. “I was gonna – I wanted to try and break him out, give us another chance of running away. But Paddy got wind of what I was planning, him and Liv worked together to get me back to the house, then he locked me in. Doors, windows, everythin’. Then he chucked the keys down the drain.”

He tucked his hands into the sleeves of his hoodie, cheeks burning as long-dormant hurt and anger rose to the surface. Paddy look increasingly uncomfortable, a light sheen of sweat starting to appear on his temple.

“They kept me there to stop me from getting to Robert. Paddy... he said  if I wanted to get past him I’d… have to hit him, beat him up. Like I did when I was younger, when he found out I was gay. They said that – that Robert never really loved me, that he was a murderer and I had to forget him, stay with them instead. Because they were my family, _they_ were the only ones who really cared about me. In the end, I gave in, promised to never leave them. He wouldn’t let me go until I did.”

“Is that so?” Cain’s face was like thunder and his voice was low. Dangerously low.

Aaron barely had time to blink before his uncle was lurching across the room and had his hands fisted in Paddy’s jacket, pushing him backwards until he slammed into the mantlepiece.

“Cain, no!” Aaron’s mum screamed, arms flapping, but he paid her no heed.

“Who the hell d’you think you are?” Cain hissed, getting right in Paddy’s panicked face as he shoved even harder, sending the photo frames behind him toppling over.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Cain p-please I was just trying to _help_ him, I – ”

“He’s a grown man, he can do whatever the hell he wants.” Cain easily shook off Chas’s attempts to pull him off Paddy. “And what are you to him, eh? What made you think you the right to pull a stunt like that?”

Paddy's entire body trembled from head to toe.

“He’s – I – I care about him, he’s like a s-son to me, you know that I – ”

Paddy own words were cut short by a loud yelp when Cain’s grip on him tightened, pushing until his feet were barely brushing the floor.

“You’re no father to him, you can barely look after your _own_ bloody kids, you pathetic little – ”

“Cain,” Aaron took a step towards them, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Let him go. It’s not worth it.”

Cain glared at Paddy, breathing heavily through his nose, before giving him one last rough shove and releasing him. Paddy wheezed and slumped against the mantlepiece, glasses askew as he looked at Cain and Aaron in shock.

“And this is the bloke you’re with, eh?” Cain turned on Aaron’s mum, still radiating with anger.

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth but didn’t reply.

“Though sayin’ that, you can’t be that invested, not if you’re throwing yourself at sleezebags like Priya’s fella the first chance you get – ”

“Shut up, Cain!” She shouted at him, eyes flashing. “That was just a stupid mistake, we’ve moved past it!”

“If you say so,” Cain shrugged, before glowering at Paddy once more. “I suggest you get the hell out of here before I lose my temper again.”

Paddy floundered for a moment, looking to Chas for help.

“Just go, Paddy,” she sighed. “I’ll see you at home.” 

For a moment, he looked like he might protest, but one glance in Cain’s direction clearly changed his mind and he moved quickly towards the door.

“You should go too, Mum,” Aaron muttered. “I’ve got nothin’ else to say to you.” 

“But love, this needs sorting – ”

“I mean it. Now.”

She hesitated, before huffing angrily. “Fine. But this isn’t over.”

As she and Paddy stepped into the hallway, Cain called Paddy’s name. The other man paused and looked back at him nervously. 

“If you walk down the street and see me comin’ your way? You cross to the other side, understand?”

Paddy swallowed audibly, before ducking his head down and making a hasty retreat.

*

Aaron kept packing long into the night, even after Cain went to bed. Just as he was grabbing another empty box, there was the click of a key in the lock and Liv swung the door open. They stared at each other for a moment.

“No Vinny?”

“We’re not attached at the hip.”

Aaron just shrugged a shoulder and carried on.

“If you must know, he’s nipped into Wishing Well. Mandy wanted to see him.”

“Right.”

She watched him a moment, arms crossed across her chest.

“You’re actually goin’ through with this, then?”

“Looks that way,” he replied absently, sorting through a pile of old NME magazines.

“So I guess Cain’s fine with you leaving him to pay all the bills after you’ve gone?”

Aaron hummed, deciding to just chuck the magazines in the recycling. 

“Actually, Cain’s moving out, too. Him and Moira are back together.”

“What?” Liv’s jaw dropped slightly. “Then... who’s gonna pay for stuff?”

“Well, you’ll have to do it. And Vinny too, I suppose.”

“How the hell am I meant to afford to live here on my own?”

“It’s your house, you figure it out,” Aaron snapped, before closing his eyes regretfully and sucking in a slow breath. He didn't want things to descend into another fight, he didn't think he had the energy for two in one day. “Look, you own the house outright, so there’s no mortgage to pay, it’ll just be utilities.”

“Yeah, and the rest!”

“You’re working plenty of shifts at the shop, aren’t you? Once Vinny gets himself a new job, you should be able to manage between the two of you. You’ll just have to learn to spend your wages on bills instead of the next pair of trainers that takes your fancy. You’ll probably have to start doin’ an actual grocery shop instead of ordering pizza every other night. And you might wanna consider not having Netflix, Amazon Prime _and_ Disney Plus – maybe try narrowing it down to one if you want to save a bit of cash.”

Liv shook her head, eyes wide with outrage. “I don’t believe this!”

“It’s called a budget, Liv, it’s what adults have to do. Since you’re _so keen_ to let the world and his mother know you’re not a kid anymore, I thought you’d be well up for it.”

Aaron turned away from her and continued sorting through his belongings. Liv didn’t leave the room, instead rattling around the kitchen behind him as she made herself a green tea. As he unplugged the playstation from the TV and picked it up, he heard her slam the mug down on the counter.

“Oi,” she barked, charging over to him. “What the hell d’you think you’re doing?”

“…Packing?”

“You can’t just take communal stuff without askin’!”

“What? Liv, come on, you barely touch the playstation.”

“I do sometimes!” She snatched it from his hands and put it back on the TV stand. “And Vinny uses it, too.”

“Liv, do you honestly think I give a damn about what Vinny does or doesn’t use?”

“You can’t just – if you’re seriously gonna do this then we need to sort everythin’ out properly. When’re you actually planning on going?”

Aaron opened his mouth to reply, _as soon as I possibly can_ , before hesitating. Something Victoria had said, her half-joking words in the cafe, flashed through his mind.

“…Dunno, day after tomorrow? Or the day after that?.”

“Right. Well, I’m in college ’til four tomorrow. Make sure you’re here when I get back, we’ll go through what you can take, who gets to keep what. Vinny should be here, too, I’ll let him know.”

Aaron bit the inside of his cheek. “Fine.”

She blinked, clearly caught off guard at how readily he’d agreed. “Fine. I’m going to bed. Vinny’ll be back soon, so it’s probably not worth finishing that.” She gestured to the half-full box on the sofa, picked up her mug and disappeared up the stairs.

Aaron stood stock-still for a moment, waiting until he heard her footsteps travel across the landing and her bedroom door click shut, before digging his phone out of his pocket and calling Victoria.

“Aaron?” She said through a yawn. “It’s late, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, fine. Just… are you busy tomorrow?”

“Not especially, got the day off. Why?”

“You still up for that stealth mission?”

*

Aaron woke Seb early the next morning, keeping an ear out for any movements outside the bedroom door as he got them both ready.

“So guess what?” He said as he helped Seb into his jumper.

Seb looked at him curiously. “What?”

“You remember our new house I told you about? Where you played with Dotty that time?”

Seb nodded, and Aaron booped his nose, grinning.

“We’re moving in today, mate.”

“ _Today?_ ”

“Yep, tonight you get to sleep in a bed of your own!”

Seb’s smile dimmed a fraction.

“What’s the matter? Thought you were dead excited for a room all to yourself.”

“Yeah… ” He looked at Aaron anxiously. “Still sleep with you sometimes, though?”

Aaron sighed and mentally kicked himself. Of course Seb would be nervous about the change, when sleeping next to his dad was pretty much the only constant he’d had after everything that had happened over the last few weeks.

“Yeah, of course you can, you can always come in with me if you want,” he reassured him, taking one of Seb’s smaller hands in his own. “But we’re gonna make your room really cool, yeah? We’ll put all your books and toys in it, and we can paint the walls any colour you want.”

“Can I have stars?” Seb pointed to the bedroom ceiling, and Aaron remembered how he’d gone mad over some glow-in-the-dark ceiling star stickers he’d seen in B&Q the week before. “Please?”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to Seb’s hair. “We can get you some stars.”

Once they’d finished getting ready, Aaron stayed in the bedroom, quietly keeping Seb entertained while listening to the sounds of Liv and Vinny starting their day. He heard them both walking to and from the bathroom a few times, then pottering around downstairs, Liv laughing occasionally at something Vinny said, the radio a low hum in the background. Then, finally, he heard the tell-tale sounds of them getting ready to leave; Liv dashing upstairs for her coat and bag before jogging back down, the radio being switched off and the sound of the front door banging shut.

Aaron peeked out of the window, watching as the pair of them walked up the driveway and onto Main Street, before turning in the direction of the bus stop.

“Right, time to move, little man.” 

He scooped Seb up and grabbed his phone, firing a quick text to Victoria as he reached Cain’s room and rammed on the door with his elbow.

“Cain, it’s go time!”

There was a brief pause, before the door swung open and a grumpy-looking Cain appeared. “Alright, keep your hair on.”

Aaron ignored him and descended the stairs. “You heard from Moira?”

“Yeah, she says we can have the van all day, she doesn’t have any deliveries to make.” Cain grabbed his keys from the counter and shoved his boots on. “I’ll go fetch it now.”

“Cheers.”

No sooner had Cain disappeared out the door, Victoria came breezing through it.

“I’m here!”

“That was fast.” Aaron raised an eyebrow at her as he poured Seb’s cheerios for him.

“I was awake early, ready to go as soon as I got your text,” she grinned, sticking her hands in the pockets of her dungarees. “It’s quite exciting, isn’t it? Like we’re secret agents or something.” 

“I’ll be more excited when I’m out of here.”

“Well, Diane’s happy to keep Harry at hers until mid-afternoon, so you’ve got me for most of the day. Are you sure you don’t want me to ask Luke to give a hand? He’s pretty – ”

“No,” Aaron cut her off. He had no interest in help from anyone in that family. “No, thanks.”

“Oh.” Vic bit her lip, sensing the awkwardness. “Sure, no problem. Where d’you want me to start?”

“You can start by watching Seb while I go get the truck from the scrapyard.” He placed Seb’s juice in front of him. “Auntie Vic’s gonna watch you for a few minutes, okay? I’ll be back soon.”

Aaron jogged up to the yard, where he found Jimmy and Nicola waiting for him.

“You took your time,” Nicola grumbled, huddling further into her scarf.

“Ignore her.” Jimmy rolled his eyes, passing Aaron a set of keys. “Here you go, take it for as long as you need.”

“Within reason,” Nicola added. “We really should be charging you for it but… well, I suppose you deserve a break after the year you’ve had. And it _is_ Christmas so… ”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Aaron drawled, unlocking the door to one of the haulage trucks. “But thanks for this, I really appreciate it. It shouldn’t take too long, I can probably move everythin’ in one trip.”

“Well, good luck with it all!” Jimmy grinned. “I’d help out if I could but – ”

“He’s busy.”

“I’m busy.”

Aaron drove the truck through the village and carefully backed it into the Mill’s drive, spotting Moira’s smaller van tucked to one side, its sliding doors left wide open and ready.

“Right,” he said as he walked inside, finding Vic, Cain and Seb sitting at the table. “Let’s do this.”

*

They started with the living room furniture. The sofa, the coffee table, the lamps from the fireplace, and the two gaming chairs. 

( “Will you have room for both?” Victoria asked, frowning down at the pair of them. 

Cain smirked. “One of them’s coming to the farm with me.” )

While Aaron and Cain shifted the furniture, Victoria darted from wall to wall, taking down each piece of artwork and carefully wrapping it in bubble wrap, then doing the same with any breakable item she spotted. Next went the TV, then the giant clock hanging above the mantlepiece, then the moped.

( “Seriously?” Cain asked, side-eying it. “Even that thing?”

“Yep, even that thing.”

“The moped’s cool,” Seb called, not looking up from his colouring book.

“See? It’s cool.”

“If you say so.” )

Apart from Aaron’s bedroom furniture, Isaac’s old bed for Seb and a few suitcases, there wasn’t much to bring downstairs. After just a couple of hours, all that was left to move were the last bits of kitchen stuff and the small mountain of boxes stacked against the wall.

( “Don’t you wanna take the kitchen table?” Victoria asked.

Aaron shook his head and forced the coffee machine into its old box, taping it up messily.

“Nah, honestly I never liked it. And the only reason Robert did was ’cos it matched his stupid Star Trek cupboards. Liv and Vinny are welcome to it, call it a leaving present.” )

They shoved the last few boxes into the truck, closed the door behind them and got ready to head out.

“Wait!” Vic darted back along the drive, and bent down to grab a flowerpot.

“What’s Auntie Vic doing?” Seb asked, tugging Aaron’s sleeve.

“No idea, son.”

“Aaron, your plants! We should bring them, too!”

“Vic, I don’t really care about the plants.”  


“They’re yours, though. Robert bought them,” she said haughtily, spilling soil everywhere as she hoisted the pot higher against her chest. “And you need them for your new garden. Come on, we can make them fit.”

Cain and Aaron glanced at each other, before sighing and taking another couple of pots each, wedging them into the remaining space in Moira’s van.

“Anythin’ else?” Cain grumbled, slamming the door shut. “Or can we get a shift on?”

To be fair, it wasn’t exactly a long journey. They drove the truck, the van, and Aaron’s car along the street to the front of Mulberry Cottage, and Aaron dug the key Laurel had given him out of his pocket.

“Don’t worry about where stuff goes, just stick it anywhere for now. I’ll sort everythin’ out later.”

While Seb watched from his perch on the stone hearth, the three of them carried everything inside as quickly as they could, rolling their eyes at the curious looks they were getting from passers-by. No doubt the whole village would know he was out of the Mill by teatime. At one point, they spied Paddy peering at them from outside the Woolpack, but one hard look from Cain sent him scurrying back inside.

It was barely half an hour before they were done.

“I dunno about you two,” Vic sighed, flopping onto the sofa. “But I am _dying_ for a brew.”

“Forget a brew,” Cain snorted as he dropped the last box in a corner. “Try a bacon butty.”

“I’ll go get some from the caf,” Aaron said, grabbing his wallet. “My treat.”

“Yeah, I should think so.”

Aaron brought their well-earned lunch back a few minutes later, and the four of them sat eating in near silence, starving after the hectic morning.

“Not sure about this wallpaper, like,” Cain said eventually, wiping crumbs from his mouth. “Doesn’t really go with all the stuff we’ve just lugged in, does it?”

Aaron winced and took in the red, floral pattern adorning the walls and the deep purple carpet on the staircase.

“It clashes a bit, I know.” He raised his eyebrows at Seb and gave him a nudge. “We’ll just have to change it, won’t we? Until we’ve got it how we like it.”

Seb just grinned around his mouthful of crisps.

“We’ll make it work.”

“Course you will,” Vic smiled and put her empty plate to one side. “First thing’s first, though, you’ve got to get yourselves a Christmas tree.”

Seb’s head whipped up to look at Aaron hopefully. “A tree? With _lights_? Can we get one now?”

“Right now? After all that hard work we’ve just done?”

“Yes!”

Aaron laughed and scrubbed a hand over his face, before shooting Vic a glare. “See what you’ve done?” He sighed and ruffled Seb’s hair. “How about tomorrow? Think you can wait that long?”

Seb pouted a little, but nodded in agreement.

“Right,” Vic rose to her feet and picked up her coat. “If you don’t need me for anythin’ else, I’d best be making tracks. Harry’s probably driving Diane up the wall by now.”

Aaron rose with her. “Thanks for today. I mean it.”

“Anytime.” She dove in for a hug, arms squeezing tightly around his waist, before releasing him to give Seb one, too.

“You should get off as well,” Aaron told Cain. “I’ve kept you from goin’ home to Moira long enough.”

“Don’t worry, she understands.” Cain stretched with a groan. “God, I’m gonna ache tomorrow.”

“Gettin’ old.”

“Oi, it’ll be you soon enough.”

Victoria slipped outside with a wave. Cain went to follow her, but paused in the doorway.

“You gonna be alright?” He asked, tapping a finger on the wooden frame.

“Course we are.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done good here. M'proud of you.”

Aaron felt his face flush. “Yeah?”

“This is the most like yourself you’ve been since you lost Sugden.”

He glanced back at Seb, who was happily pulling his stuffed toys out of one of the boxes, and swallowed thickly.

“Yeah... I think you’re right.”

“I’ll see you bright and early for work on Monday, then?”

“Mm-hm, I’ll see you at like… nine?”

“Eight.”

“Half eight?”

“Not a second later.”

*

The rest of the afternoon flew by, Aaron shoving furniture into place until the cottage resembled something like a liveable home. As the early winter darkness fell, Seb curled up on the sofa and drifted into a nap. Aaron finally slowed down, sorting through the kitchen quietly, the only sound coming from the gentle ticking of the clock he'd fixed to the wall. However, as that clock struck 4:30pm, the peace was shattered by a loud knock on the door.

He approached it slowly, bracing himself for what he knew was coming. There was another series of knocks, shortly followed by Liv’s voice shouting his name.  He opened the door a fraction, poking his head out to look at the angry girl on his doorstep.

“Keep your voice down, Seb’s asleep.”

“I don’t care, I – ”

Aaron sighed and slipped out into the cold, pulling the door mostly closed behind him.

“You’ve taken everything! The TV’s gone! The sofa, all the furniture!”

“Yeah, well – ”

“You told me you weren’t moving ’til tomorrow,” she said with an accusing glare. As always, Vinny was hovering nearby, standing halfway down the garden path.

Aaron shrugged. “Change of plan.”

“We were supposed to sort through everything, discuss what you could take.”

“We didn’t need to discuss it. I took what’s mine – and Robert’s – and I left what’s yours behind.” 

“What?” She frowned up at him, heavy breathing sending puffs of air flying from her mouth.

“Look, you bought the house, that means it’s yours, not mine, right? It belongs to you. That’s what you said.” He raised his eyebrows at her silence. “Robert and I bought everythin’ that went inside it, which means it belongs to me. I thought you’d get that, seeing as you’re so concerned with whose money paid for what these days.”

“Oh, come on,” she scoffed. “That’s not the same.”

“How is it not the same?”

“That stuff was for all of us – ”

“The _house_ was meant to be for all of us. Until that didn’t suit you. You can’t have it both ways, Liv.”

“No, you’re not bein’ fair!”

“You want to see the receipts? I still have the number for Robert’s accountant, you want me to give him a ring and ask for proof of purchases made from his bank account? From our old joint account? You want me to go through every transaction that was made, match it to each thing I took? Because I will, just say the word and I’ll do it.”

He stared her down, daring her to try him. Liv turned to Vinny, then back to him, before taking a step back, eyes filling with a fresh round of tears.

“I hate you for this.”

Aaron’s heart sank, but he remained silent. There was nothing left to say.

“I hate you!” She screamed it this time, causing everyone in the nearby vicinity to jump and turn in their direction. 

Still, Aaron stood motionless, mouth kept shut. She stared at him for a moment longer, before turning on her heel and marching down the path, grabbing Vinny by the sleeve as she passed him, dragging him along with her. It was funny, in that moment they reminded Aaron of his mum and Paddy.

He watched them walk away for a few seconds, before stepping back inside and closing the door, shivering with the draft he’d let into the room. Just as he was considering getting the fireplace going, his phone buzzed on the coffee table.

“God, what now?”

He snatched it up and jabbed at the screen irritably.

“Yeah?”

He was met with only silence on the other end of the line.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” an unmistakably familiar voice whispered back.

Aaron’s entire body froze.

“… Robert?”

“I um… Paul called the prison, said you wanted me to give you a ring. About Seb.” 

Was he breathing? Aaron wasn’t sure he was breathing.

“Aaron? Are you there?”

“I – yeah, um… ” He looked down at Seb stirring in his sleep, burrowing further into the sofa cushions. “Hang on a sec.” 

Aaron moved quickly to the kitchen, heart hammering in his chest as he tried to sort through the millions of things he wanted to say, mouth gaping as he tried to find the words. Eventually, he decided to get straight to the point. He knew from experience Robert wouldn’t be able to stay on the phone for long. “Seb’s sent you a Christmas card.”

There was a beat.

“A Christmas card?”

“Yeah. And I need you to send him one back. If you can.” He suddenly realised he had no idea if prisoners could even send cards; his own brief stints inside had never been during the festive season. “Do they let you send cards?”

“Yeah, they… we can send a couple, if we want.”

“Okay, good. He really wants one from you and I told him he’d get it. I was gonna just write one myself if I couldn’t get in touch with you, pretend y’know, but… ”

“Like Santa?” Despite everything, there was a hint of amusement in Robert’s voice.

“Yeah, like Santa,” Aaron snorted, trying to push past how strange and surreal if felt to finally be talking to his ex-husband after over a year of radio silence. “But if you’re happy to send one then – ”

“I’ll send it tomorrow,” Robert said firmly, and Aaron believed him.

“Okay, good. Oh, but don’t address it to the Mill, it needs to go to Mulberry Cottage.”

“What? Why?”

“Er… because that’s where we’re living.”

“Why, what happened to the Mill?” Robert sounded alarmed, and Aaron was sure a hundred different scenarios – each more dramatic than the last – must be running through his head.

“Nothing, it’s… a long story. Longer than you can probably spare on a prison call. But don’t worry, okay, nothing bad’s happened.” Nothing worth upsetting Robert over. “It’s good. We’re good.”

“Okay… I’ll be sure to send it there,” Robert said, before his voice turned hesitant. “Aaron?”

“Yeah?”

“… What’s he like?”

Aaron was helpless to stop the smile spreading from his face.

“Brilliant. He loves to draw. Um, dead polite – always says please and thank you. A bit shy, but he ends up liking most people he meets. He's definitely got your sweet tooth.”

“Does he still do that little happy dance whenever he eats a biscuit?”

“Yeah,” Aaron choked a laugh. “Yeah, he still wiggles his shoulders every time I give him one.”

Robert chuckled, the sound muffled like he had a hand pressed to his mouth. Eventually, the sound died and there was a brief silence.

“How are you?” Part of him dreaded the answer, but it was question he had to ask, one that had been on his mind every day for the last thirteen months.

“I’m alright,” Robert said quietly, and Aaron found himself pressing the phone harder against his ear, as if it would reveal any more than Robert was with those two short words.  “I’m sorry, I wanted to call you as soon as I heard about Rebecca but… I wasn’t sure if you’d want to hear from me. Thought maybe I should just leave you to it.”

“You weren’t worried about me taking Seb full time?”

“Not for a second. Of course I’m gutted about Rebecca, you know I never wanted Seb to lose his mum but… you’re the best dad he could have, Aaron. Better than me at any rate.”

“That’s not true,” Aaron whispered, chest tightening. “Rob, I… ”

_I miss you. I love you. I don’t know how to do this without you._

Suddenly, there was the sound of commotion in the background, shouting voices somewhere in Robert’s vicinity. Robert groaned.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. People waiting to use the phones.”

“Yeah, course. I get it.” And he did, he remembered the sheer frustration of only getting a few precious minutes to speak to the outside world, of being desperate to keep the conversation going even as a crowd of thugs became increasingly impatient behind him. “I’ll let you go.”

“I’ll post Seb’s card as soon as I can, I promise.” 

“I know you will. Thank you.”

“Bye, Aaron.” He thought he could detect a tremor in Robert’s voice, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Bye, Robert.”

The line went dead, and Aaron was left staring at the phone until it began to swim in his hand.

“Daddy!”

He quickly wiped his eyes, exhaling shakily, and walked into the living room.

“What’s up?”

Seb was well and truly done with his nap, rummaging through one of the boxes excitedly. As Aaron got close enough to see what he was looking at, he realised it was full of framed photos. The ones that had been packed away for over a year. He sank to his knees on the carpet, pulling Seb into him.

“What’ve you found, eh?”

“Daddy Robert.” He was pointing at the picture he loved, the wedding photo of the three of them, the one with the flower wall. It was still in the same frame they’d put in his old room at the Mill.

“Yeah, it’s Daddy Robert.”

Aaron pulled out picture after picture, some more of the three of them, some of just him and Robert, one of Robert, Diane and Victoria. 

“Let’s put them up, then.”

Seb scrambled to his feet as Aaron gathered the photos in his arms and moved towards the fireplace. One by one, he placed each frame on the mantlepiece, carefully repositioning them until each one was visible. The wedding photo stood in the middle.

Aaron took a step back and stared at the memories before him. Revelled in the fact that there was no one around to tell him he needed to take them down, to put them away and forget all about them.

“What d’you think?”

Seb looked at them for a moment, before nodding decisively. “Good.”

“Yeah. Good.”


	6. Chapter 6

If Aaron thought he'd be getting a relaxing Saturday morning after the hectic day before, he was sorely mistaken.

“Now then, pet.” Diane shoved a large box into his hands as soon as he opened the front door, breezing her way through. “We’d better get this place fixed for Christmas, hadn’t we?”

“Um… ”

“Now, Victoria told me you brought a few of your old decorations with you, but most were left behind at the Mill?”

It was true. Even when he’d been taking nearly object in the house that wasn’t nailed to the floor, Aaron’s hadn’t been able to bring himself to touch the decorations Liv had already put up with Vinny. It felt too... mean-spirited. Besides, most of them had been her choice, anyway.  Robert hadn’t been around for their first Christmas in the Mill and Aaron had wanted her to have a good time, desperate to make up for all his failings that year, so he'd let her pick nearly every decoration he'd bought. They were more her taste than his, no sense in bringing them with him.

Diane took off her coat and pressed a brief kiss to Seb’s head. “Hello, sweetheart. You like your new house?” 

Seb nodded around his mouthful of toast. Diane smiled fondly at him, before moving to the kitchen, grabbing the kettle and filing it up with water.

“I couldn’t be bothered putting up a full-size tree this year, not at my age,” she called from the sink. “So I had plenty left over. I’ve put lots of baubles in there, plus some tinsel and a set of lights, a few other bits and pieces. The star’s a bit wonky, mind, but I reckon it’ll do you for this year at least.”

Aaron slowly put the box down on the sofa and lifted the lid, revealing the mis-matched collection of Christmas decorations inside. Seb leaned over to look at them curiously.

“Victoria’s donated a few things, too!” Diane plopped a teabag into a mug. “All you need to do is get yourself a tree. I can watch Seb while you go buy one, if you like?”

“Diane, you didn’t have to – ”

“Don’t be silly, it’s Christmas.” A minute later, she came into the room with a freshly-made tea in her hands. “Most of the good trees will be gone by now, so you’d best get a move on. Go on, chop chop!”

Aaron quickly got dressed and stepped outside, the frosty ground shimmering brightly in the morning sun. He went to unlock his car, before hesitating, then setting off in the direction of David’s shop. He could think of nothing worse than fighting his way through a garden centre six days before Christmas, maybe he didn’t have to go so far afield.

As he approached the storefront, his heart sank slightly. There were only two Christmas trees next to the entrance, both of them small and shabby, branches drooping towards the ground. They looked half-dead already.

Well, that wasn’t going to work.

Aaron ducked into the shop, which was empty save for David slouched behind the counter and Leyla perched at the tiny table next to it, flicking through a bridal magazine.

“Alright, mate?” David straightened. “How’s the new house? Drowning in moving boxes, I bet?”

“Yeah, summat like that. Look, I know this is last minute but… I don’t suppose you’ve got any Christmas trees other than the ones outside? Some that are less… brown?”

“Ha, I knew it!” Leyla crowed, waving her magazine in David’s direction. “What did I tell you?”

David rolled his eyes at her. “Wait here a second.”

He disappeared to the store cupboard at the back of the shop, before reappearing a few seconds later, dragging a tree behind him. Even through the netting, it looked greener, taller and fuller than the ones outside.

“This is my last good one. Leyla was convinced you’d be after one for your new place, told me to set it aside for you.”

“That’s… ” Aaron turned to Leyla, then back to David, strangely touched. “Thanks. You’re a lifesaver, honestly.”

“Don’t mention it,” David grinned and propped the tree against the counter. “First proper Christmas with your kid, needs to be special. This is Theo’s first one, so I get it. Well, technically it’s his second since he, y’know, _arrived_ on Christmas but he was only tiny, he didn’t know what was goin’ on. And to be fair, we had no idea what was goin’ on either, I wasn’t even sure who he _was_ so – ”

“Here you go,” Aaron said loudly, holding out his credit card.

David blinked, before nodding and processing the payment. As Aaron took his card back, he glanced at the tree 

“Don’t suppose you’d give us a hand carrying it to the house.”

“Er… ”

“Oh, go on, David,” Leyla said. “It’s the season of goodwill, help him out.”

“Why don’t _you_ do it, if you’re so keen?”

“In _these_ shoes?” She wiggled her stiletto-clad feet. “No chance.”

David helped him bring the tree back, nearly breaking his neck as he tripped on the stray boxes still scattered around the living room.

“Ohhh, that’s a nice one, isn’t it Seb?” Diane smiled as Aaron cut off the netting and spread the branches out.

“Yeah, it’s not bad.” Aaron surveyed it, then passed Seb a (non-breakable) bauble. “You wanna start us off then?”

By the end of the day, Mulberry Cottage was as brightly decorated as the rest of the houses in the village. Even the wonky star stayed on.

*

On Monday morning, Robert’s card arrived. Seb had darted to the door as soon as he heard the postman push their post through the letterbox, rifling through the envelopes as though he could read the words on them. He’d done the same yesterday. 

“Let’s see,” Aaron kneeled down and took the post from him. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of two cards – one addressed to Seb and one for himself – both with identical, familiar handwriting.

“I think this is him, mate.” 

Seb was practically bouncing on the spot as Aaron helped him rip the envelope open. Inside was a card adorned with a picture of smiling snowman wearing a Santa hat.

“S’it from Daddy?”

“Yeah… ” Aaron flipped it open, seeing Robert’s scrawl written around the generic ‘Merry Christmas’ greeting. “It is.”

Seb grabbed Aaron’s knee, peering down at the card. “What’s it say?”

Aaron had to swallow the thump in his throat before reading aloud.

“Dear Seb… Thank you so much for the card, I loved it. Your pictures are really good, you’re brilliant at drawing.”  Seb’s face lit up at that, and he wriggled enthusiastically.  “I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with Daddy Aaron and that you get loads of presents from Santa. Lots of love and kisses from Daddy.”

Aaron passed the card over. “Here you go.”

Seb took it almost reverently and stared at the picture on the front, then gestured to the fireplace. “Up there, please?”

Aaron placed the card on the mantlepiece, next to a photo of Robert.

“Yours?” Seb pointed at the other card in Aaron’s hand. 

Aaron swallowed thickly and stared at the unopened envelope. 

“Daddy needs get ready now, mate, or I’ll be late for work. I’ll open it later, okay?”

He propped the envelope next to Seb’s card, and got ready to start his day.

*

Within a couple of hours of Aaron starting at the garage, Victoria appeared with two takeaway coffee cups.

“Is… is Cain about? Are you on your own?”

“He’s on a callout.” Aaron frowned when he saw her eyes were glassy with tears. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Robert, he’s sent… ” She put the cups down and pulled a small card out of her coat. “Did you – please tell me you got one, too?”

Aaron nodded, gently explaining his call with Robert and the cards they’d received since, giving her a hug when the tears overflowed, falling rapidly down her face even as she smiled down at the card in her hand. They sat together in silence for a few minutes, Victoria sniffing every now and then, until her eyes dried and she wiped her cheeks, and Aaron returned to work.

“So,” she cleared her throat a few minutes later, her voice only slightly hoarse as she watched him change a tyre. “What’s it like fixing cars again? S’it like riding a bike?”

“Guess so.”

She hummed and took a sip from her coffee cup. “Doesn't seem that busy?”

“It’s not like many people are booking in their MOT’s a few days before Christmas, it’s mainly just breakdowns and stuff.”

“Ah, makes sense I suppose. Well that’s good, gives you a chance to ease back into things!”

Aaron straightened and wiped his hands on his overalls, before grabbing his own coffee. It was a little strange working here again, almost like he’d gone back in time. But he didn’t mind. After everything that had happened in the last few months, he liked being busy with his hands, working without having to think too much. It was a relief knowing all he had to do was come in on time and do a good job. No stressing over managing finances and deliveries, no juggling endless admin with physical labour, no trying to figure out how he was going to keep his business afloat until the next month. 

“Saw you gettin’ dressed this morning, by the way.”

Aaron choked on his drink. “Sorry, _what_?”

“In your bedroom, I can see in your windows from mine. You live on the main road now, you might wanna think about closing your curtains next time.”

He felt his cheeks flush pink. Clearly he’d gotten too used to the privacy of the Mill, it hadn’t even occurred to him.

“Get a good look, did you?”

“Been there, done that,” Vic said mildly, laughing at his scandalised expression. “Oh bless, your little face!”

Aaron just scoffed and returned to the car he was working on.

“It’s nice though, isn’t it?” Vic added, smiling. “We’re proper neighbours now!”

Aaron stared at her. “We’ve always been neighbours. We live in a tiny village, I was only down the road before.”

“I know _that_ , but now we’re right across the street. We could literally wave to each other from our windows if we wanted!”

“I’m not _wavin’_ at you, Vic, we’re not five.”

She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t saying you had to, grumpy guts, just that it’s possible. Maybe Seb and Harry will.”

“Suppose so, yeah.”

“Um… ” Vic’s voice turned slightly tentative. “What’re your plans for Christmas Day, then?”

“Dunno yet. I mean, Seb’d love to see you, Harry and Diane at some point. So would I, obviously.”

“Yes, of course! We can do that. Er, I’ve actually invited Luke and Wendy over for dinner… you can always come round if you – ”

“No.”

She sighed heavily. “Aaron – ”

“I said _no_ , Vic.”

“I just think it would be easier if we could all get along.”

“Easier for who?” Aaron snapped, before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.“Look, your relationship with that family is your business, okay? I’m not about to try tellin’ you what do to, I’ve known you too long for that.” He quirked a half-smile at her. “But I want nothing to do with them, alright?”

Victoria remained silent, fiddling with the lid on her cup.

“And while we’re on the subject… ” Aaron hesitated. It was a topic he’d been wondering how to bring up for a while, but now seemed like the ideal opportunity. “I don’t want Seb around them, either. I don’t Wendy or Luke in your house while he’s there.”

She frowned at him. “Aaron, come on… what if one them comes round while I’m babysitting him?”

“Then you tell them to leave. Or you call me and I’ll come get Seb. Especially if it’s her.”

“She’s not… Aaron, she’s not that bad once you get to know her, and she’s been through a lot – ”

“And we haven’t?” Aaron looked at her incredulously. “It’s thanks to that woman and her son harassing you for weeks on end that Seb’s other dad isn’t here! That he’s having to send us Christmas cards from _prison_.” He gestured roughly to the card sticking out of Victoria’s pocket. “Seb has nothin’ to do with her, you got that?”

Victoria pressed her lips together hard. For a moment, it looked as though she might start crying again, but her eyes remained dry.

“Okay. Understood.” Vic sighed. She didn't look happy, but she didn't look upset, either. “I'm not about to tell you how to live your life, either. Known you too long.”

Aaron huffed a small laugh.  “Look, why don’t you bring Harry round on Christmas morning, before dinner? Diane, too. Open some presents with me and Seb. You’ll have time, right?”

She gave him a small smile and nodded. “I’d like that.”

*

Carla came over that evening. She smiled softly at Seb and spent a few minutes asking him questions, before wandering slowly around the house, taking in her surroundings with a careful eye.

“I um… ” Aaron said when she finished her tour and returned to the living room. “Sorry, I know it’s still a bit of a mess, I need to finish unpacking and everythin’, but I swear, I’m on it, I just - ”

“Aaron.” She held up a hand. “Everything looks good. I’m approving you as Seb’s legal guardian.”

“Oh.” Aaron blinked at her, before letting out a relieved whoosh of air. “Oh, thank God.”

Carla’s mouth twitched. “You can breathe now.”

He smiled weakly. “I was afraid you might change your mind; I know I messed you around a bit, putting off your visit until we’d moved.”

She chuckled and picked up her handbag. “The fact that you were willing to move to a new home to accommodate Seb speaks volumes. I don’t have any concerns, trust me.”

“Okay, that’s… thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, unless you have any questions, I’ll be on my way.”

“Uh, no. No questions.”

He opened the front door for her and she stepped outside. 

“Merry Christmas, both of you. I hope it’s a good one.”

*

The rest of the week flew by in a mad blur. Between getting to grips with things at the garage again, making mad dashes to the shops for Seb’s presents and finishing off the last of the unpacking, Aaron was so busy he barely had enough time to think. But it was a good kind of busy, making him feel energised and animated, Seb’s excitement over the upcoming big day infectious.

The only blip came every time Aaron saw Liv. Admittedly, those moments were few and far between; the lights in the Mill were on nearly every time he looked in its direction, so they didn’t seem to be going out much. Neither of them ever appeared in the pub on the few occasions Aaron went himself, ignoring at his mum’s frosty looks every time he approached the bar. 

But still, it was a small village. They couldn’t avoid each other forever; he bumped into her and Vinny once in the cafe and again in the shop. Both times, she took one look at him and stuck her nose in the air, quickly heading for the exit.

“Come on, Vinny,” she said, striding outside without waiting for her boyfriend.

Early on Christmas Eve, she walked past the garage while Aaron was working outside, footsteps gathering speed as she firmly avoided looking in his direction. She moved so fast, Aaron couldn’t have spoken to her even if he’d wanted to, practically sprinting towards the bus stop.

“Still pissed off, is she?” Cain said, glancing up from his clipboard.

“Looks that way.”

“Tell you what, I don’t miss livin’ with that attitude of hers.”

Aaron sighed and continued sorting through the toolbox in front of him. No sense dwelling on it now.

As they reached mid-afternoon, Cain yawned and slumped against the bonnet of the one car they had in.  “You might as well head home, doubt we’ll be gettin’ any more customers now.”

“Cheers, Cain.” Aaron began shirking off his overalls.

“Right, about tomorrow,” Cain said. “Christmas dinner’s gonna be at around one, so make sure you’re not late. Moira’s runnin’ the whole thing like a military operation, woe betide anyone who messes with the schedule.”

“Eh?”

“Christmas dinner… ” Cain looked at him oddly. “You and Seb, comin’ over for turkey and sprouts. You are coming, right?”

“I didn’t know we were meant to be, you never said!”

“Did I not?” Cain scratched his jaw. “Right, well… Christmas dinner, you’re invited. I’m assumin’ you’re not doing a dinner at yours, not with _your_ cooking.”

Aaron glowered but shook his head. “Yeah alright, sounds good. But… are you not meant to be going to Wishing Well… seein’ the family?”

_Are you not going to spend the day with my mum, who hasn’t spoken a word to me in a week?_

“Nah,” Cain said with a shrug. “Moira wanted to stay at ours this year, celebrate bein’ back together an’ all. There’s us and the kids, Matty, think Amy’s popping round, too. We’ll have a full house, don’t need to go anywhere else, do we?”

Aaron looked at him appraisingly. “Moira said all that, did she?”

Cain rolled his eyes and gave him a light shove. “Go on, off with you. Go fetch that lad of yours and spend Christmas Eve with him. I’ll see you tomorrow, bring beer.”

*

Aaron came out of the kitchen to see Seb sitting cross-legged in front of the fireplace, staring at it intently. 

“What’re you doing, mate?”

“Waiting. Santa’s comin’.”

“Not yet,” Aaron chuckled and held a hand out to him. “I told you, he won’t come until you’re asleep.”

“Why?” Seb pouted as he took Aaron’s hand and clambered to his feet.

“It’s the rules."

“But why?"

“I dunno, it just is!" Aaron was laughing properly now. “He’ll be here though, I promise. Needs to come get his cookies, doesn’t he?”

He gestured to the small plate of cookies (plus a lone carrot) they’d put out earlier.

“Come on.” He sat on the sofa and pulled Seb into his lap, grabbing the remote. “Let’s watch something before bedtime, eh?”

He flicked through the channels until the opening credits of a familiar film appeared onscreen.

“Here, you’ll like this one. It’s one of Daddy Robert’s favourites.”

At that, Seb’s head whipped to the screen. “What is it?”

“Muppet Christmas Carol.”

_2016_

_Aaron knew he was being a bit of a grump, considering the time of year, but he wasn’t exactly feeling festive at the moment. Liv had been acting up ever since the “sharing of indecent images” incident with Gabby, his mum was constantly getting on his case about his failure to keep Liv in line, Adam was down about facing his first Christmas without his sister, and now Aaron had to contend with yet another White sister sniffing around his fiancé._

_Said fiancé – and the thought of moving into a new house with him soon – was just about the only thing getting him through the day._

_“Oh, look what’s on!” Robert grinned, tossing the remote aside and making himself comfortable on the sofa. They were alone in the back room of the pub for once, and Robert was determined they’d make the most of it._

_“Unless it’s Die Hard, I’m not interested.”_

_“Christmas Carol!”_

_Aaron rolled his eyes and took a couple of beers out of the fridge. “Stuffy period drama, brilliant.”_

_“Oi, you said you’d watch a film with me. Come on, it’s been ages since we had a night to ourselves.”_

_Aaron winced at the hint of disappointment in Robert’s voice, cursing himself for being such a moody git. He settled next to him on the sofa, before frowning at the screen._

_“It’s the Muppets one.”_

_“The best one.”_

_Aaron shot Robert an odd look. “You know this is a kid’s film, right?”_

_“You’re never too old for The Muppet Christmas Carol, Aaron. It’s a classic.”_

_“Never seen it.” Despite his weariness, he almost laughed at the scandalised look on Robert’s face._

_“Well that changes right now.” Robert stretched an arm out and motioned for Aaron to come closer. “C’mere.”_

_Aaron sighed, made a show of looking irritated and put-upon, but he shuffled over until he was curled against Robert’s side, tucked under his arm._

_“Is that Michael Caine?”_

_“Yep, and this is his best work. Now shush.”_

_“Wow, sorry for breathin’.”_

_Aaron watched the story unfold through half-lidded eyes, feeling the tension in his shoulders finally start to loosen ever-so slightly. Robert stroked gentle fingers through his hair, dislodging it from the heavy gel keeping unruly curls in place. His chest shook underneath Aaron’s head every time he laughed at one of the jokes, vibrated as he quietly hummed along to each song._

_Aaron smiled despite himself and reached over to play with Robert’s fingers, touching the ring there. He was marrying an absolute loser. But he didn’t mind._

Seb made it through most of the film, eyes eventually drifting closed just as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come was introduced. Aaron carefully stood with him in his arms, managing to carry him up to his room without waking him.

Once Seb was tucked up in bed, ceiling stars casting a soft glow over the otherwise-dark room, Aaron quietly padded to his own room and grabbed the carrier bags that were stuffed under his bed. He took them downstairs and started pulling out messily-wrapped presents, placing each one under the tree. Once he was done, he grabbed himself a beer and returned to the sofa, absently watching the final scenes of the film still playing on the TV.

As the credits rolled, Aaron’s gaze wandered over to the mantlepiece, landing on the unopened card that was still propped up there. He slowly stood and picked it up, putting his beer bottle to one side as he sat back down.

How long he stared down at the card, he didn’t know, turning it over in his hands as if examining it for long enough would reveal what was inside.

“Sod it.”

He tore open the envelope and pulled out the card, barely glancing at the generic festive scene on the front.

_Dear Aaron,_

_I wasn’t sure if you’d want to hear from me, but I couldn’t send a card to Seb and not you, too. I don’t want to repeat what I already said the last time I wrote to you, or make you sad or angry about everything that’s happened, especially at this time of year. So I’ll just say that I hope you’re well and happy, and that you and Seb have a great year ahead._

_Merry Christmas, Aaron._

_Love, Robert_

_p.s. I know I already said so on the phone, but I just wanted to let you know that I couldn’t wish for a better dad for Seb. You’re the strongest person I know, so if you’re having any doubts, stop that right now, okay? He’s as lucky to have you as I was._

A lone tear splashed down on the card, his thumb stroking over Robert’s handwriting. As he looked up, eyes staring unseeing at the multicoloured fairy lights twinkling on the tree in the corner, his mind wandered to the brief few hours he’d spent in this house with Robert. 

It wasn’t that he’d only just remembered; he’d been vividly aware of the memory as soon as he’d set foot in the place again, as soon as Laurel invited him round for tea. But he hadn’t dwelled on it, hadn’t had _time_ , there was too much to do. Instead, he’d pushed it to the back of his mind and kept it there. Until now.

He remembered sitting here, almost in this exact spot, body trembling with more pain than he could’ve ever imagined it was possible to feel. The sting of his infected cut that made him feel sick and shaky, the terror of knowing that Gordon must be lurking somewhere nearby, the sheer hopelessness of everything piling on top of him and crushing him into the ground.

He’d thought he was dying. And he hadn’t really cared, either.

And then, suddenly, Robert was there. Talking to him in unusually soft voice, saying even softer words, ones that Aaron had never expected to hear from him of all people. Making him feel… something close to safe. Safe enough to tell him the truth, to say the words _“He raped me.”_ out loud for the first time.

Instead of his life ending that day, it changed. Everything changed. Because Robert came and found him in this room, pulled him back from the edge. Robert told him he was strong – strong enough to fight back, strong enough to get through anything. And he’d been right. Aaron hadn’t believed him at the time, but he’d been right.

He got to his feet and put the card on the mantlepiece, stood it next to Seb’s.

Tomorrow he’d get up, and have a good Christmas Day. He’d watch Seb open his presents, spend the morning with Victoria and Diane, go to Cain’s for Christmas dinner, come home, put Seb to bed, then go to bed himself. Then the next day, he’d get up again. Then again, and again, and again. 

He'd be Seb's dad, he'd be a mechanic and he’d be happy.

He was strong enough to be happy.


	7. Chapter 7

_ December 2024 _

“Seb!” Aaron called impatiently from the doorway. “You’ve got exactly 10 seconds to get down here and be ready to go.”

Silence. Aaron shot an exasperated glance at the dog sitting by the sofa.

“Every time.” The only response Molly gave was a small whine. “10…9…8… ”

There was a quick thundering on the landing, before Seb came dashing down the staircase, coat half-hanging off his shoulders and backpack hitting each step as he dragged it behind him.

“Sorry, m’ready.”

“You’re forgiven, long as you get your shoes on pronto.” 

Seb was quick to shove his feet into his shoes, before giving Molly a quick cuddle and ducking under Aaron’s arm to run outside.

They made it to Hotten Primary by the skin of their teeth, Seb jogging through the school gates just as the first bell rang. As always, he stopped to give Aaron a wave, then disappeared inside with his classmates. Aaron smiled fondly as he watched him go, before driving back to the village and opening the garage for the day.

A couple of hours later, he was shivering and flexing the hand that was holding a spanner, half-tempted to nip home and dig out some gloves. Ever since December had hit, there was an icy chill in the air, winter well and truly settling into the Dales.

“God, I’m gasping for a brew,” Ryan called over the sounds of Shakin’ Stevens blaring from the radio.

Aaron grunted but didn’t lift his head. “You know where the kettle is, mate.”

“I made them last time, it’s your turn!”

“Alright princess,” he laughed, heading to the sink to fill the kettle himself. “It’s comin’, keep your hair on.”

It had been just over two years since Ryan Lamb had reappeared in the village, strolling up to the garage like it hadn’t been over a decade since they’d last seen him. 

_“I was thinking about moving back here, need a fresh start.”_

_Cain raised an eyebrow. “Another one? Thought you were done with this place.”_

_“It wasn’t all bad,” Ryan smiled sheepishly. “Don’t suppose there’s any chance of a job?”_

_Cain gave Ryan a hard stare that Aaron knew was entirely put on – he was well aware his uncle had always had a soft spot for him – before nodding shortly._

_“Fine, start tomorrow.”_

_And that had been that. Aaron wasn’t complaining – ever since Dan quit and Cain had been spending more and more time helping Moira on the farm, he’d been managing the place single-handedly some days. He could do with an extra pair of hands._

_“You’ve not changed,” he said as Ryan stepped into his overalls the next morning. “’Cept for the grey hair.”_

_“You have, mate,” Ryan grinned, running a hand through the salt and pepper strands. “Almost didn’t recognise you without the buzzcut and tracksuit.”_

_“Daddy,” Seb said quietly, coming out of the office and tugging Aaron’s sleeve, still as shy as ever. “Who’s that?”_

_“This is Ryan, we used to work here together. He's alright, I promise.”_

_He looked up to see Ryan staring at Seb with surprise. “Things’ve definitely changed, then.”_

_They’d gone to the pub that night and caught up over a couple of pints. Ryan told him about his disastrous marriage and subsequent divorce, the one that had led to him packing his bags and returning to the Dales. And his twin girls, Jessica and Emily, who were his pride and joy, though he only got to have them every other weekend. Aaron filled him in on the last 10 years or so of his life, missing out the odd unsavoury detail here and there._

_“Wait, wait,” Ryan’s pint glass froze in midair. “You married_ Andy’s brother _? The one who ran away?”_

_Aaron bit his tongue at the last sentence –_ running away _wasn’t exactly what he’d call it, but Ryan wasn’t to know – and nodded._

_“Yep. Twice, actually. Seb is Robert’s biological child, but I adopted him last year. Robert and I… we’re not together anymore but… ”_

_“So what, you share custody?”_

_Aaron gave him a smile that came out more like a grimace. “No… it’s complicated.”_

_“Hm,” Ryan said, settling into his seat. “Sounds like a story. I’ve got time.”_

Two years down the line, Ryan was still at the garage. And he was no longer the annoying older lad who used to try bossing Aaron around, and more like the closest thing he’d had to a best mate since Adam. It was nice, having someone other than Cain to chat to every day, to go over last night’s match with, to bicker with over what they played on the radio or who got to work on which car.

“What’s Seb wanting for Christmas, then?” Ryan asked, blowing on his tea. “You started shopping yet?”

“No idea, I need to get him to write his list. You still having the girls at yours this year?”

“Yeah,” Ryan’s face lit up. “I’m going all out, mate. Ice skating, Christmas markets, carol singing, the full works.”

“Jesus, they won’t wanna go back.”

“That’s the idea,” Ryan smirked. “Cain said I could have some extra time off, make the most of having them here.”

They got back to work after their brews, working in companionable silence. Until, somewhere around lunchtime, Aaron swore at the particularly stubborn Corsa he was working on, kicking a tyre in frustration.

“Come on, you stupid – “

“Oi, what’d that car ever do to you?” Victoria sauntered over to the garage, tupperware box tucked under her arm.

“Sometimes I miss the days when I got to rip them apart instead of havin’ to put them back together. What’s up?”

“Nothing, just… I was on my way to work and I had some leftover cupcakes from baking with Harry last night, thought you might want some.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow at her. “That’s the only reason you’re here, is it?”

“What other reason would there – oh, hey Ryan!”

Ryan stepped out of the office, face lighting up when he spotted her.

“Hi Vic. Alright?”

“Mhm,” she smiled brightly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She’d grown it out again over the last few years, going back to the bright blonde that made her look closer to 20 than 30. 

“What’ve got there?”

“Just some cupcakes for you two. And Cain, if he’s around.”

“He’s out for the day, gone to pick up some parts we need,” Aaron said, though he may as well have been talking to thin air. Vic wasn’t even looking in his direction.

“More cake?” Ryan winked at her. “I’m not gonna fit in my overalls at this rate.”

Victoria let out a laugh that was a little too loud, a pink flush that had nothing to do with the biting wind spreading across her cheeks.

“Um, I was just gonna nip to the caf, get something for lunch,” Ryan said, holding up his wallet and glancing at Aaron. “You want anythin’?”

“Nah, I’m good. Got some leftovers to heat up at home.”

Ryan walked off towards the cafe, Victoria’s eyes following him as he went. When she turned back to see Aaron pulling a face at her, she frowned.

“What?”

“I saw that.”

Her face had gone from pink to tomato red. “Oh, shut up.”

“Am I gonna have to get some mistletoe just so I can shove the two of you under it and put us all out of our misery?”

“God, you’re worse than Diane, obsessed with my love life.”

“Nope, I’m just getting sick of the puppy dog eyes, to be honest.”

“I _don’t_ have puppy dog – oh, never mind. Here.” She shoved the tupperware into his hands, ignoring his snigger. “I’d better get to work. Text me later though, we need to talk Christmas plans!”

“Will do.”

Aaron shoved a fresh cupcake in his mouth, smirking to himself. If Victoria having a thing for the local mechanic meant she kept bringing baked goods to the garage, he wasn’t about to complain.

*

As the day drew to a close, darkness falling over the village before it even reached 4pm, Aaron heard a familiar voice shouting for him.

“Daddy!” 

Aaron wheeled himself out from under a car and got to his feet, just in time for Seb to crash into his waist, Moira and Isaac close behind him.

“Hiya kiddo, good day?”

“Yep. Hi Ryan.”

“Hey, short stuff,” Ryan waved from where he was filling in some paperwork.

“M’not short,” Seb shook his head, and looked up at Aaron.

“Dad, guess what?”

“What?”

“We got our parts for the nativity.”

“Oh yeah? Go on then, what did you get?”

“One of the three kings,” Seb said with a smug grin that was entirely _Robert_. “I get to wear a crown.”

“Wow, bit of a promotion from last year, eh?” The previous December, Seb had been given the non-speaking part of Sheep Number 2, and to say he’d been devastated was an understatement. It had taken several hours and the promise of a trip to Santa’s grotto in town to bring the tears to a stop.

“That’s brilliant, mate, m’proud of you.” He ruffled Seb’s hair, before glancing over at Isaac and Moira. “What about you, Isaac? You got a part, too?”

Isaac beamed, swinging his hand in Moira’s. “The ass.”

“ _Donkey_ , Isaac!” Moira admonished him, shaking her head in exasperation. “For goodness’ sake, don’t say that word – especially when you’re at school.”

“But it’s just another name for donkeys, Mum,” Isaac said with a mischievous look that made it clear he knew _exactly_ what the word meant. “Josh in Year 3 said so.”

“Well I’ll be having a word with Josh in Year 3’s mummy, won’t I?” Moira rolled her eyes and looked at Aaron. “Is Seb still sleeping over tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, if that’s alright? I’ll put his pjs and stuff in his schoolbag.”

“Course it is. We’ve got a brand new gingerbread house that needs building so we’ll need his help, won’t we Isaac?”

“Yeah! It’s gonna be huuuuge.” His arms flew out in opposite directions to demonstrate. "Ta-ra, Seb.”

“Bye, Isaac.” Seb waved, watching them climb into Moira’s jeep and drive off.

“Alright, I just have to finish off this car then we can go home, yeah?”

“’Kay.” 

Seb settled in his usual spot in the office, pulling out his reading book for school. He was used to their routine by now, happy to keep himself occupied with homework or drawing until Aaron finished for the day.

Half an hour later, Aaron slammed the bonnet shut. “Okay, think we’re done for the night. Home time?”

They walked back to the cottage together, hand in hand, the sound of an excited dog scampering in front of the door as Aaron unlocked it. 

As Aaron closed the door behind them and gave Molly a scratch behind the ears, Seb immediately crouched down in front of the pile of post on the floor, rifling quickly through the letters.

“Anything?”

“No.” Seb sighed and passed the pile over to Aaron – nothing but bills and junk.

“Well, it’s early days yet, innit? Give him time.” Aaron flicked a switch, the recently-decorated tree lighting up the room. “He’s never missed it before, has he?”

Seb nodded, slinging his bag off his shoulder dejectedly. 

“Why don’t you go play upstairs with Molly for a bit? Maybe get started on your letter to Santa, he’ll be needing that sooner rather than later. Tea’ll be ready in an hour.”

Aaron watched Seb trundle up the stairs, Molly trotting faithfully by his side, before tossing the post down with a sigh. Ever since that first December four years ago, Robert had never failed to send them both a Christmas card, usually so it arrived within the first couple of days in December. They were usually the first ones they received each year. Now they were a whole week into the month and no cards had appeared. He tried not to let it worry him.

Robert always sent a birthday card, too, but it was the Christmas one that Seb looked forward to the most. To him, hearing from his dad was as much a part of the festive season as putting up the tree or getting presents. Something he looked forward to with just as much anticipation. 

The connection meant that Aaron and Robert’s relationship was… strange. They hadn’t spoken again since that phone call, not once. Even when Aaron had officially adopted Seb and needed Robert's consent, all their communication had been through a solicitor.  But on Aaron’s second Christmas with Seb, he’d ended up writing a card of his own, posting it to the prison along with Seb's. He’d only intended to write a short and simple greeting, but his hand ended up moving the pen of its own accord. He’d told Robert about Seb, updating him on everything he’d done that year – every milestone, every achievement, every one of his likes and dislikes. Anything he thought Robert would want to know, until every inch of available space in the card had been filled. He’d tucked a recent photo of Seb inside it, too.

It was a tradition that he’d carried over the following years, graduating from a card to a longer letter, and Robert would send one back. They only talked about Seb. Robert never asked Aaron any questions about his life, simply saying that he hoped Aaron was well. In turn, Aaron never asked Robert about prison. Instead, he signed off each letter with a “Hope you’re okay.” and left it at that. It was like they had an unspoken rule to never stray from the topic of their son. Anything else would probably be too complicated, too painful.

If _annual-long-distance-co-parenting_ was a thing... it seemed they were doing it.

*

Later that night, once he’d tucked Seb into bed, Aaron spread out on the sofa and flicked the TV on, patting his thighs.

“C’mere, Mols.” 

Molly moved from her preferred cushion and came to curl up in his lap, tucking her head into her paws. Aaron stroked her light brown fur as he read through the letter to Santa that Seb had given him before bed, occasionally googling a couple of the toys mentioned to see how tricky they’d be to get his hands on.

“Any requests from you this year, madam?” He asked Molly, her tail lightly thumping against his stomach as she looked up at him. “Any new squeaky toys caught your eye? Some fancy treats?”

He kicked himself when the dog’s head immediately cocked at the word “treat”, tail wagging even harder.

“Alright, you can have one.” She jumped down and ran to the kitchen, pawing at his legs as he followed her and pulled the treat bag out. “Ah, _one._ Good girl.”

As he shut the cupboard door, his eyes fell on the pile of post still sitting on the counter. He slowly went through it one more time, as though Robert’s cards would magically appear on a second look, before rolling his eyes at himself and returning to the sofa.

They’d arrive soon.

*

“Aaron!” 

Aaron sighed and stopped in the street, turning to face his mum as she came barrelling towards him, one hand holding her grey faux fur coat closed against the morning chill.

“What?”

“Good morning to you, too,” she said brightly. Too brightly.

“What’s up?”

“Just… wondering how you are?”

He frowned. “Fine?”

“Good, good. And Seb?”

“Do you care?”

“Don’t be like that, love, I was only asking.”

“Is there a point to this conversation or…?” 

“Do you have to make everything so difficult, Aaron?” She sighed at him. “I was just… wondering what you were doing this Christmas, that’s all?”

“Dunno yet. Probably spend some of the day with Vic and Diane, the rest with Cain, Moira and the boys. The usual.”

“You could always… come round to mine at some point? Or come up to Wishing Well with me and Eve?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Not even for Eve? She’d love to see her big brother.”

“And I _will_ see her, just not – ” 

“She’s your family, too, do you even care about her?”

“Don’t,” Aaron snapped, tensing at her words. He knew what she was doing, knew exactly what her game was every time she mentioned Eve, and it immediately got his back up. “You know I care, and you _know_ I’ll have her over anytime and spoil her rotten with presents. Whether it’s on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day… whenever she wants. But I’m not bringing Seb to any sort of Dingle Do when I know how you feel about him.”

His mum sniffed, mouth twisting in displeasure.

“So you’re happy to just keep the family apart, then? Another year without you or Cain and the boys, or Noah and Sarah, all because of – ”

“Noah and Sarah go to Cain’s for Christmas because they don’t wanna spend the day with _Charity_ , Mum, that’s got nowt to do with me. And while we’re on the subject of breaking the family up, remind me why Marlon and April won’t celebrate with you, either?”

Her eyes darkened. “Don’t – that’s not the – ” 

“Oh yeah, because you cheated on Marlon's best mate and he hasn’t forgiven you for it.”

“That’s enough.”

“Just sayin’, you can’t put it all on me this year.” He began backing away. “So if that’s all you came over to say, then – “

“Liv’s back from Dublin tomorrow!” His mum cried, throwing an arm out to halt him.

“Alright?” Aaron shrugged, hands in his pockets. “And you’re tellin’ me this because… ”

“Maybe – maybe now's the time for the two of you to try patching things up, love.”

“Unless her attitude’s done a complete 180 in the last couple of months, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

“Oh son,” Chas sighed with frustration. “Grow up, it’s been four years of fighting!”

“Who’s fighting? Us living our own lives isn’t fighting.”

“There’s more to it than that and you know it. It’s ridiculous, the two of you live in the same village and you don’t even _speak_.”

“Yep, and I was planning on keepin' it that way,” Aaron said firmly. “Right, I really do have to open the garage now so… ” 

He turned and began walking down the street without waiting for a response, trying to shake off the small feeling of discomfort that still sometimes appeared when his mum tried getting on his case about his relationship with his sister. He slowed to a stop as the Mill came into view, staring at the familiar building.

There was no sign of life there, the house having been left empty while Liv was on one of her trips to her mum’s place in Ireland, the ones that always ended up lasting weeks or months at a time. The house was in a far shabbier state than when he’d left it… smudged windows in desperate need of a clean, a couple of broken roof slates, overgrown grass, weeds and bushes turning the garden wild and encroaching on the driveway.

It was safe to say that some of the villagers – particularly the ones who fell into an older age bracket – were less than impressed with the current state of the Mill. If Aaron had a quid for every time one of his neighbours – particularly Eric – had tutted as they passed it or complained in the pub about it being an eyesore, he’d be a very rich man.

“Yorkshire’s answer to Grey Gardens,” Nicola had once called it, her nose wrinkled with derision. Whatever the hell that meant. 

“Alright?” Cain’s voice startled Aaron out of his trance-like stare, and he whipped around to see the other mechanic standing there with a paper bag in his hand. “Woah, bit jumpy this mornin’ aren’t you?”

“Sorry, I was miles away.”

“Saw you talkin’ to your mum. She giving you grief?”

“Just about Christmas n’that. Why won’t I make up with Liv, why am I letting Eve down, the usual.”

Cain rolled his eyes. “Want me to have a word?”

“Nah, I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” Aaron fell into step beside his uncle, walking towards the garage. 

“Okay. Well, here’s breakfast.” He tossed the paper bag into Aaron’s hands, and he opened it to see a bacon butty inside. “Consider it an early Christmas present.”

*

The day passed relatively uneventfully. Ryan left not long after lunch, muttering something about a mission to hunt down the best and biggest doll’s house he could find (better than the one his ex-wife was buying, at any rate), leaving the two of them to work in relative peace for the rest of the afternoon.

“Right,” Cain said as they finished for the day. “Moira’s got a delivery at the pub for around midday tomorrow, you okay with her dropping Seb back at yours then?”

“Yeah, whenever’s fine.”

“What’re you doin’ with your night of freedom, then? Wild Friday night on the town?”

Aaron snorted. “More like ordering presents online, walking the dog and watching Taskmaster with a pizza.”

“Wow, steady on.“ Cain shucked his coat on. “You good to lock up? Got a few errands to run before the shops shut.”

“Yeah, you get off.”

“Night, then.”

“Night.”

As Cain headed outside, Aaron quickly pottered around the empty garage, tidying tools away on autopilot. As he heard the sound of Cain’s engine starting and driving away, he flicked off the light and hauled the swinging doors closed, fiddling with the keys to lock them. 

“I thought he’d never leave.”

The key slipped out of Aaron’s hand, hitting the ground with a loud clatter. He whirled around to see a tall figure a few feet away from him. He stood in the shadows, face half-hidden, but it didn’t matter. Aaron would recognise that figure anywhere.

“…Robert?”

He took a step closer. His face was a little older, a little thinner, but it was unmistakably the face of Aaron’s ex-husband.

“Hi, Aaron.”


	8. Chapter 8

All Aaron could hear was the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears, heart thumping so hard it felt like it might burst out of his chest. He stood frozen, staring in disbelief at the man in front of him.

“Aaron?” Robert said his name again, so quietly it was almost lost in the wind.

He didn’t reply, too shell-shocked to even _breathe_ , let alone formulate words. At his silence, the tentative smile on Robert’s face faltered.

“I’m sorry, I – I know it’s a lot, me just turning up like this… ” 

It felt like Aaron was having one of those dreams where you tried to speak, to shout, but no words would come, no matter how hard you tried. His mouth was open but couldn’t get his voice to work.

“I’ll… maybe I should go – ”

“No!” And that was enough to get his vocal chords working again. “No, don’t, I… _Robert_.”

He wasn’t aware of his legs moving, but he supposed they must have, because suddenly he’d closed the gap between them and his arms were flinging over Robert’s shoulders, dragging his body into his own. Finally, he started breathing again, short, uneven gasps of air falling out of his mouth as he held on for dear life.

Robert froze for a nanosecond, before his arms came up to clutch Aaron’s back, holding Aaron almost as tightly as Aaron was holding him. He felt different… skinnier, smaller somehow. But he still had the same broad shoulders, still buried his face into Aaron’s shoulder in the same way, still had that same familiar smell that always made Aaron feel contented and safe.

When they eventually parted, Robert’s chin was quivering slightly. Whatever he'd been expecting from Aaron, it probably hadn't been that. Aaron stood back but kept a hand on his arm, clinging to his sleeve like he was Seb’s age.

“How… what are you _doing_ here?”

Robert swallowed. “Long story. I only made it to the village about an hour ago… wanted to wait until you were alone before I… ” 

It was then that Aaron noticed he was shivering slightly, the light jacket he was wearing clearly doing little to keep him warm. So he swallowed down the hundreds of questions on the tip of his tongue to ask the simplest one.

“You should – d’you want to come back to mine? You’re freezing.”

Robert looked uncertain. “Is… is Seb…?”

“He’s… having a sleepover with Isaac,” Aaron breathed, suddenly overwhelmed with relief that Seb wasn’t due home until at least the morning. “Come on, let’s – let’s go round the back.”

Robert nodded and picked up the small rucksack at his feet. He went to move in the opposite direction, taking half a step towards the Mill, before stopping short and righting himself.

“Sorry,” he gave him a slightly awkward smile, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Forgot where you lived for a second.”

They started walking, sticking close to the trees, and by some miracle, they managed to make the quick journey to Mulberry Cottage without bumping into anyone, the pub’s car park empty and no one sitting outside on such a chilly evening. Aaron led Robert through the back garden and let them in through the kitchen door. Molly’s head lifted in surprise, clearly puzzled to see Aaron come from the back instead of the front like he usually did.

When Robert hesitated in the doorway, she got to her feet and ambled over to him, sniffing around his ankles with interest.

“That’s Molly,” Aaron said, flicking the lights on as Robert slowly knelt down to give her a gentle stroke, letting her lick his fingers. 

“Hi Molly.” His voice was even quieter than it had been outside. “Nice to finally meet you.”

For a brief moment, Aaron was confused by Robert’s familiarity, until he was struck by the memory of Seb drawing a picture of her for Robert one year, sticking it in with his card. Of course Robert knew who she was.

“Is… anyone else here?”

Aaron rolled his eyes at the question Robert was clearly trying to ask without actually asking.

“No, it’s just me, Seb and Mols. I’m not seein’ anyone, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Robert gave him a sheepish look and dropped his head back down to Molly.

“She’s not exactly I pictured. Thought you always wanted a big dog – another German Shepherd or a Retriever, not a…” He gestured to her small stature.

“Yeah, I know,” Aaron grinned, watching the Molly still circling Robert’s legs. He remembered pleading with Robert for a dog when they lived at the Mill, playfully negotiating with him about when the right time was, what breed they should get, who would be the one to train it or clean up after it. 

“She’s a Cavalier Spaniel mixed with… something, we’re not sure. Another small breed. Rhona and Marlon found her in abandoned a field when she was a puppy, took her into the vet’s. Me and Seb were outside when she was brought in, soon as he saw her he pretty much tore my arm off so he could get a good look. He pretty much fell in love on the spot and she would’ve had to go to a dog shelter otherwise so… ”

“She came home with you.” Robert said it fondly, like he didn’t expect anything different.

“Yeah.”

As he watched Robert continue to pet Molly, the sheer strangeness of the situation suddenly hit him hard, so surreal he could barely wrap his head around it. Five years since he’d seen his husband and the only thing they were talking about was the dog. In the countless scenarios that had run through his head over the years, all the different ways he imagined seeing Robert again... it had never gone quite like this. 

He took off his coat and tossed it onto the counter, curling his hands in the sleeves of his jumper.  “How’re you here, Robert? What happened?”

Robert straightened, looking timid in a way Aaron had never seen before.

“You’ve not… _escaped_ or summat, have you?”

He snorted at that, eyes crinkling. “No, I’m here legally, I promise.”

“Okay.” Aaron thought for a moment. “You want a cuppa? Or something stronger?”

Robert looked at him with surprise. “You not gonna ask more questions?”

“Oh, I’ve got loads of questions. Just thought it might be easier to get through them with a drink.” 

“Tea’s fine. Thank you.”

Aaron darted around the cottage on autopilot, getting a fire going in the living room and switching the Christmas lights on out of habit ( _because that's what this conversation needs, some festivity_ , he thought slightly hysterically), before moving to the kitchen to make them tea. From the corner of his eye, he saw Robert moving silently, taking in his surroundings. His gaze wandered over the familiar old furniture mixed with new, the Christmas decorations, Seb’s toys, before finally resting on the fireplace. Aaron watched him stare at the photos lined along the mantlepiece, fingers coming up to hover over one of the frames, not quite touching. Aaron wished he could see the expression on his face.

He cleared his throat as he came through with the mugs. “Here, this should warm you up.”

Robert peeled his coat off and took a seat on the edge of the sofa cushion, wrapping his hands around the drink Aaron held out to him.

He sat down next to Robert, watching him blow on his drink and take a sip, eyes fluttering with satisfaction.

“God, that tastes amazin’.” He took another gulp, apparently oblivious to the scalding temperature. “I’ve not had a decent brew in… well.”

Aaron just watched him. He knew he was staring, eyes boring into the side of Robert’s head like he’d disappear if he so much as blinked, but he couldn’t help it.

“When – when did you get out?”

“Um.” Robert’s eyes flicked to the clock on the wall. “About 30 hours ago?”

“So… how… ”

“How am I here instead of still in there?” Robert gave him a rueful smile. “Trust me, I can hardly believe it, either.” 

He exhaled slowly, fingers tapping on the handle of his mug as he absently watched Molly walk across the room to curl up in her bed. 

“A few months ago,” he said eventually. “I was contacted by some detectives. They came to the prison, said they were investigating corruption in the force. Um, so the doctor who was treating… Lee Posner… the one who told the police how he’d died…”

Aaron frowned. He had no real memory of a doctor; there hadn’t been an actual trial so he’d never seen him during the nightmare that was Robert’s sentencing.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“Turns out, he’s a bit dodgy. They found out he’d taken a bribe from the police on a case he’d recently testified in, lied about some bloke’s cause of death to help them get a conviction.”

Aaron’s eyes widened, mind spinning so fast it made him dizzy.

“That meant any case he’d been involved in over the last few years, any testimony or medical opinion he’d given was thrown out. Including mine. Suddenly I was allowed to appeal.”

“So… had he lied on your case, too? The doctor?” The thought of it made him feel sick.

“I don’t actually know,” Robert said with a shrug. “Probably not, I still whacked the bloke on the head with a shovel and he didn't wake up again. But whether the doctor was telling the truth or not, it didn’t really matter. Point is, nothing he’d said could be used as evidence, it wasn't reliable. And since pretty much the only evidence the police really had against me was the medical testimony… that didn’t leave them with much. I was able to get the charge reduced to manslaughter, five years with time served.”

He sighed, twisting to face Aaron fully, meeting his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you. I thought about picking up the phone a thousand times after the appeal started. But… I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. I didn’t dare get my hopes up. And at first, everything took so long, things moved so slowly. I’d go weeks without hearing anything, or they’d tell me my case was pushed back. Drove me mad. Then all of a sudden everything sped up, I had a sentencing date and a lawyer, and just like that, I was out. I never expected... I’ve barely had time to wrap my own head around it, honestly.”

He ran a hand through messy hair that was in desperate need of a cut, and Aaron was suddenly struck by how exhausted he looked. His face was white as ivory, making the bags under his eyes look worryingly dark in contrast. His hands itched to reach out, to run a thumb across the shadowy skin, the touch each of the freckles that were exactly as he remembered them.

“It’s okay, I get it,” he found himself saying, before releasing a short laugh that was tinged with bitterness. “Five years… that’s what we thought you’d get when – when… ”

He remembered his absolute fury at Robert for pleading guilty to GBH with intent, only for it to soften when his husband insisted that it was worth signing up for five years prison rather than risking his whole life. Their whole future. They’d spent weeks mentally preparing themselves to be without each other for that length of time… only to to torn apart forever anyway. Or so they’d thought.

“The irony’s not lost on me,” Robert murmured, sighing so heavily his entire body slumped into the cushions.

“You look tired.”

Robert’s mouth curled into a half-smile. “You mean I look like shit.”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna say, but…” 

“Didn’t really sleep last night. Or at all for the last few days, really, too nervous about the appeal.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Er, dunno. I was gonna go to the B&B, see if they’ve got a room.”

“Stay.” The word was out of Aaron’s mouth before he could stop it, and Robert’s head shot up, eyes wide with shock. “At least for tonight. We’ve got a spare room.”

“I – Aaron, I wasn’t hinting – I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not. Look, you’re knackered, you’ve been on the road all day, right? You need to rest.”

“What about Seb?”

“He’s not due back until around noon. Loads of time for us to get up in the morning and figure out what we’re gonna say when he gets here.”

“But… we probably need to talk and – ”

“And we _will_ ,” Aaron said exasperatedly. “God, five years inside hasn’t made you any less stubborn, has it? Just... you should get some rest tonight, and we can talk more in the morning, yeah? Give us a chance to get our heads on straight.”

“Okay. That sounds… yeah. I have questions for you, too. Like how you ended up here of all places.” He gestured to their surroundings. “Looks… different to the last time I saw it.”

_The last time we were sitting in here together._

“Yeah,” Aaron cleared his throat. “It needed a bit of TLC when we moved in.”

“I remember that awful red wallpaper. Gave me a headache just looking at it.”

The walls of the living room were now a warm cream, the fireplace painted a dark brown to match the wooden beams. The kitchen had been fully modernised, though Aaron hadn’t gone quite so far as to put in ridiculous handleless cupboards this time. The deep purple carpet on the staircase was gone, too, replaced with a light grey.

Aaron hadn’t minded the work, it gave him something to do, a project to keep focused on. He’d renovated each room himself, working through them one by one, sometimes with help from Cain. He’d also swapped out some of the furniture over the years, switching their old blue sofa for a wider, more kid-friendly one, and eventually giving up the gaming chair, reluctantly conceding that he really didn’t have room for it. Ryan had been more than happy to take it off his hands for a fair price.

“Took a while to get it how we wanted, but… it’s home now. Seb loves it. We’re… yeah, we’re happy here.”

There was a flicker of discomfort in Robert’s eyes, and he chewed his lip.

“Listen, I’m not here to… to step on your toes or anything.”

Aaron’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“You said it yourself; you’re both happy here, you’ve given Seb a home. You’re all he knows. I don’t expect – the last thing I want is to mess up what you have or – ” 

He could see Robert retreating right in front of him, like he was shutting himself out in the cold before Aaron had the chance to. Whatever sort of hope he had was clearly hanging by the most fragile thread.

“Whoa, what are you – hold on. Robert, are you kidding me?” His hand was on Robert’s arm, like he was afraid he’d bolt out the door and vanish into the night. “You’re still Seb’s dad, he loves you to pieces. Look.” He gestured to the photos above the fireplace. “His _home_ is full of memories of you, me and Vic talk about you with him all the time.”

Robert didn’t look convinced, doubt clouding his features even as he looked at the photos of himself through half-lidded eyes.

“You know he keeps every Christmas card you send?” Aaron smiled when that got Robert’s attention, his neck snapping back to stare at him. “Yeah, he puts them out on his bedroom windowsill every year like they’re decorations, pride of place. You being gone for a few years doesn’t change how we – how he feels. You’re his _dad_ , he’ll take as much of you as he can get. You have every right to be part of his life.”

And perhaps Aaron was promising too much, too soon. It was going to be an adjustment for all of them, he knew that. But as he took in the vulnerable look on Robert’s face, the way he seemed to shrink into himself, old instincts overtook logic and made him desperate to reassure Robert. Besides, it wasn't like anything he said was a lie. Robert may not have been around for much of Seb's life, but he was still a part of it. Aaron had made sure of that.

“Okay,” Robert whispered. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Speaking of cards, I, um… ”Robert bent down to fumble with the zip of his bag, rummaging through it before pulling out a couple of large, red envelopes. “I was hoping I could give you both your cards in person this year. If – if that’s alright?” He fiddled with one of the envelopes, creasing and flattening the corners back and forth.

“Course it’s alright, you idiot. Uh, I've already posted yours, I dunno if you would’ve got them before – ”

“I did, I've got them with me,” Robert said, glancing back to his bag. “Here you go.”

He handed one of them over, and Aaron tore into it and pulled the card out.

“Gone a bit fancy this year, haven’t you?” He said with a teasing smile, running a thumb over the higher-than-usual quality.

“I got them from a shop today. Bit more of a selection than what I had in prison.”

Aaron flipped open the card to see a simple greeting. There was no letter inside, but he supposed it wasn’t necessary this year.

“Thank you.” He stood and placed the card in the usual spot above the fireplace, before turning to see Robert swaying slightly in his seat. “You need sleep.”

“It’s barely 7 o’clock.”

“So? You said yourself, you haven’t had a proper rest in ages. Come on, I’ll show you the spare room.”

“But – ”

“You think this is my first bedtime negotiation? I live with a seven year-old, mate, you’re not gonna win this fight.”

Robert blinked at him for a moment, before huffing a laugh and rubbing his bloodshot eyes. “Yeah, okay.” 

They went upstairs and Aaron led Robert to the box room, rarely used except by Cain after the occasional barney with Moira, or Eve if she didn’t fancy sharing Seb’s room.

“It’s only a single, but it’s comfy. So I’m told, anyway.” He switched on the bedside lamp and fiddled with the radiator, turning the dial up. “Should warm up in here soon. I’ll get you some spare pyjamas.”

He brushed past a silent Robert and crossed the landing into his room, cringing at himself for not knowing how to act, for being so weirdly formal. He returned to the box room to see Robert standing by the window, arms wrapped tightly around himself.

“Um, here.” He laid the pyjamas down on the bed. “D’you need anythin’ else? Glass of water? Think I’ve got a spare toothbrush somewhere if you – ”

“Aaron.” Robert’s mouth twitched. “I’ve been in a cell for the last five years. I’m fine, this is… more than enough. Thank you.” 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” He backed out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him, only to freeze at the sound of Robert’s voice.

“Can you leave the door open? Please?”

“Yeah… course.” He pushed the door back so it stood half-open, seeing Robert visibly relax as he did so. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me. G’night.”

“Night.”

Aaron padded downstairs, slowly walking around the sofa and collapsing down on the cushions. His hand fell to one side, feeling the warmth that still remained where Robert had been sitting.

Robert was in his house. His ex-husband was in his house, in the spare room upstairs.

How long he sat there, staring into space, he didn’t know. It wasn’t until Molly came over and jumped into his lap, nosing at his cheek, that he realised his face was wet with tears.

“It's okay,” he whispered, even as a quiet sob hiccuped out of his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed his eyes shut, whole body shaking. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”


	9. Chapter 9

Aaron jolted awake with a start.

For a split second he wondered why there was a swirling mix of excitement and anxiety coursing through his body, then he remembered.

_ Robert's here. _

His room was still dark, rain lightly pattering on the roof above him. A quick squint at his phone told him it was nearly 6am. 

He’d barely slept. After taking Molly on the quickest walk known to man (and giving her plenty of extra attention when they got home to make up for it), he wandered aimlessly around the house for hours, too wired to settle. Flicking the TV on and off, sitting down only to stand back up again moments later.

A few times over the course of the night, he tiptoed upstairs to hover outside Robert’s room. Through the open door, he watched his ex-husband sleeping soundly, curled on his side with his back pressed firmly against the wall. Until he realised what a creep he was being and quickly retreated back downstairs.

Even when he’d gone to bed, he’d lain awake for god knows how long, staring at the ceiling as he listened out for any sounds coming from the room opposite his.

As he rubbed a hand across bleary eyes, he thought he heard a faint sound coming from downstairs. Frowning, he threw the covers back, hissing at the chill in the air, and cracked his door open to look towards Robert’s room. The bed was empty. 

He made his way downstairs to see Molly still asleep in her bed, and Robert sitting at the breakfast bar with a freshly-made cup of coffee, looking at him with surprise.

“Hi.”

“Morning.”

“You’re up early.”

“Woke up at five,” Robert said quietly. “Not used to lying in bed, thought I might as well get up.”

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages,” he smiled, and Aaron noted there was a hint of colour in his cheeks, they weren’t as washed out as the night before. He gestured to the mug. “Hope it’s okay that I… ” 

“Yeah, course. Help yourself.” 

“Kettle’s just boiled if you fancy one.”

Aaron made himself a coffee, glancing back at Robert every so often. The borrowed pyjamas were hanging off him, baggy in a way that made him look younger than he was, almost like a kid dressing up in their parent’s clothes. That wasn’t how Aaron’s clothes used to fit him, he remembered that much. He eyed the way the collar was nearly slipping off Robert’s shoulder and headed to the fridge.

“You hungry?”

“A bit.”

“You want some breakfast? I can do you some eggs on toast if you fancy? Or we’ve got crumpets? Or… we’re out of mushrooms but I can do you a fry up?”

“Just toast’s fine, honestly.”

“You need more than that,” Aaron tutted, pulling out the eggs. “How about pancakes?”

Robert stared at him. “Since when do you make pancakes?”

“Since Seb got old enough to understand the concept of Pancake Day,” Aaron huffed a laugh. “It was a messy learning curve, but we got the hang of it in the end. I’m actually not bad at them these days. So… pancakes?”

Robert hesitated, before nodding. “Pancakes sound good.”

Aaron got to work quickly, turning the radio on low as he mixed the ingredients. 

“Here you go.” He set a plate down in front of Robert.

“This is loads… you didn’t have to – ”

“You’ve not had anything since… I don’t even know what time yesterday. You need to eat, definitely need to put some weight on so – what?”

There was an amused look on Robert’s face, the lines in the corner of his eyes deepening as he smiled.

“Nothing, it’s just… you’re in proper ‘dad mode’ right now, you know that?”

Aaron felt his cheeks flush.

“It’s not a bad thing!” Robert said quickly, pushing his sleeves up and picking up his fork. “The opposite, actually. So… you joining me?”

Aaron made himself some breakfast and took a seat opposite Robert. They ate quietly, letting the low hum of Christmas music fill the silence. Eventually, Robert pushed his plate aside, half a pancake left on it.

“Were they okay? I can do you summat else if – ” 

“No, it was great, I’m just… not used to eating so much. ’Specially first thing in the morning.”

Aaron wanted to smack himself. He remembered what prison diets were like, how meagre the portions were. He pushed his own plate aside and folded his arms on the table. He decided to ask the question he'd been desperate to know the answer to, but hadn't wanted to push until now.

“How was it? Inside?”

Robert didn't speak for a minute, pushing his mug back and forth between his hands. “It was… prison. You know what it’s like.”

“Yeah, I just… ”

_I want to know if you were safe. I want to know if anyone hurt you. I want to know that you’re okay._

“I didn’t get into too much bother, if that’s what you mean. Yeah, there was the odd scrap here and there, you can’t avoid that no matter how much you try and keep your head down. But once people found out what I was inside for – turns out killing your sister’s rapist works pretty well in your favour, gives you a lot of leeway. It was just… boring mostly. Sheer boredom and loneliness and… too much time in my own head.” 

He sighed and propped his head on one hand, a faraway look in his eyes. “The first year was the hardest. I missed you so much, you and everyone else, hating myself for what I’d done, for throwing away everything I had. My head wasn't in a good place.  Then November came and… I got the call. About Rebecca. About you bringing Seb home. And then I actually got to speak to you, got to see Seb’s card and… God, it was like all my Christmases had come at once.

“After that… things got a bit easier. It was still prison, still hell, but I had Seb’s drawings up on my wall. I had a letter from you, and new photos to look at. Even if it was only on Christmas or birthdays, it was something to look forward to. It meant everything to me. God knows how I thought I was gonna get through 14 years on nothing.”

He huffed a humourless laugh, shaking his head, then looked at Aaron with a wobbly smile. 

“Knowing you and Seb were together, that you had each other and that sometimes I’d get to hear from you… it made it easier.”

“That’s… ” Aaron sniffed and swallowed around the painful lump in his throat. “Good. I’m glad. You want another coffee? Or a tea?”

“Er, tea please?” 

Aaron stood and pulled out the teapot – a polka-dotted monstrosity that Diane had given him as a couple of years ago – and braced himself against the counter while he waited for it to brew. When he’d managed to blink away the tears and school his face into something more neutral, he turned back to Robert.

“Tell the truth, I half-expected you to come out as the leader of some gang,” he said with a small smirk. “Can talk your way into anythin’, you.”

Robert rolled his eyes. “Nah, not my thing. I did end up teaching a class in there, though. Business studies.”

“Course you did.”

“I started taking the course myself at first, just for something to do. Then I realised I knew more than the tutor, ended up taking over. Think the only thing that lot got from it was new ways to commit fraud or con people, but… ” 

“But you’d know nothing about that, right?” Aaron grinned, bringing the teapot over.

As he poured Robert’s drink, he noticed him looking around the room with an odd expression on his face, same as he’d done the night before. His gaze fixed on the giant clock on the wall, the one that used to hang in the Mill’s living room.

“Alright?”

“Yeah.” Robert’s eyes snapped back to him. “Sorry it’s just… weird seeing so much stuff from the Mill in a different house. Like an alternate dimension or something. Different timeline.”

“Nerd.”

“Can’t believe you kept the moped.” Robert jerked his head towards where it stood in the corner, by the back door.

“That’s what Cain said when he helped me move,” Aaron chuckled. “Seb’s obsessed with it, though, sits on it and chats to me while I’m cooking.”

“I half expected all traces of me to be gone, to be honest.”

A flare of discomfort sparked in Aaron’s stomach. “I did chuck most of your stuff away early on, clothes n’that, when the divorce papers came. Not all of it; I kept your leather jacket, couple of jumpers, things I couldn’t bring myself to let go of. But… I was angry.”

“I don’t blame you.” Robert’s voice dropped to a near whisper. “Are you – you don’t seem angry now. Part of me expected you to start yelling in my face the second you saw me again. Why aren’t you still furious with me? ”

Aaron didn’t answer for a few moments. 

“I was,” he said slowly, taking a sip from his mug. “I was… yeah, I was fuming. You just cut me off, didn’t even give us a chance to try and make it work. It hurt, even when I understood why you did it. Most of that first year, I was… probably as much of a mess as you were. Not that I’m saying it was as bad as _prison_ , I’m not tryna compare – ”

“It’s not a competition,” Robert said softly. “I would’ve been a wreck if I was in your shoes.”

“I _was_ a wreck. I couldn't sleep, I was always in a foul mood, snapping at everyone, did some… stupid things.”

“What kind of stupid?” Robert was looking at him with alarm now. “Did you – Aaron, tell me you didn’t hurt yourself.”

“No, not like you’re thinking. I didn’t self-harm, I promise. Thought about it but… No, I was just reckless, did some daft, slightly illegal stuff with Cain – he’d just split up with Moira so he was a mess, too – and drank lot. Too much. Had some… ” His head dropped, face hot with shame. “Had some drunken one night stands.”

It took him several seconds and deep breaths to meet Robert’s eyes. He looked… upset, concerned maybe, but not angry.

“I’m sorry, I was just – ”

“Aaron, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Robert said firmly, even as Aaron could see the poorly-concealed pain in his eyes. “I left you, I’ve got no right to – to… ” 

“They meant nothing. I could only go through with it once I’d gotten wasted enough to pretend it was you.” He exhaled shakily, closing his eyes against ugly flashbacks that were forcing their way to the surface. “It didn’t last long, it made me feel too… sick, too dirty.So I took myself off to Scotland, stayed with Zak and Debbie for a while. Tried to get my head sorted.”

“Did it work?”

“Sort of,” Aaron shrugged. “I calmed down a bit. Came home and tried to get on with things best as I could. And it okay, for a few months, anyway. I was still missing you like mad, still miserable without you, but I was… functioning, I guess.”

“Then what happened?”

Aaron didn’t reply, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth. He hadn’t thought about that year in so long, it was hard to confront the memories head on.

“Aaron, why did you move out of the Mill?” Robert asked, eyes searching Aaron’s own. “I know you said nothing bad happened but… something must have. You loved that house.”

“I know. But… some things changed.”

Robert was watching him carefully, expression open and earnest in a way that was so familiar, it made Aaron’s heart ache. There was a time when Robert knew everything there was to know about him. This was the man who he could tell anything to, there was no part of Aaron that he didn’t see and understand.

No matter what had happened between them, Aaron didn’t want that to change. So he started talking.

He told Robert about all the ways in which the Mill changed. All the ways his relationship with Liv disintegrated like dust once Robert was gone; the endless arguments, how they suddenly couldn’t stand being in each other’s space, the way her turning 18 meant she refused to do anything he asked of her, the day she moved Vinny in without bothering to even tell him. 

The way she turned on him and claimed the Mill as her own, used their decision to use her inheritance and put the house in her name against him. The way Aaron was further and further pushed out until he woke up one day and realised the Mill wasn’t his home anymore.

He told Robert about Liv colluding with Paddy on the day of his sentencing, how they’d locked him in the Mill and refused to let him out, breaking him down and twisting things in his mind until he lost all his fight and gave into their demands. The way his mum started shoving his new baby sister into his arms in the days that followed, telling him to stop moping and start smiling, be thankful for what he had.

He spoke about his Mum and Liv’s irritation with him for not moving on as quickly as they would’ve liked. The way he’d been forced to mourn and remember Robert in private, afraid to even mention his name for fear of getting shot down. Those couple of months before Seb turned up, when they both pushed and prodded him over some bloke working at the HOP, the guy who had something to do with… canoes? Aaron couldn’t remember now. 

How uncomfortable he’d been, forcing himself to ask out a man it turned out he’d bullied as a kid – half out of guilt, half out of a need to please his family. How miserable it made him, entertaining the idea of developing feelings towards someone he wasn’t even sure he _liked_ , let alone felt an attraction to. How he gave it chance after chance, even when he knew he was wasting his time, even when he hated every second of it… all because Liv kept insisting he’d “finally met a good guy”.

“Honestly, I dunno why I let it all go on so long,” Aaron huffed, brushing away a stray tear falling from his eye. “I didn’t realise how bad things were at time, I think I was just… numb. Going through the motions, because I didn’t know what else to do. I had no one to turn to – ’cept Cain, but he had his own stuff goin’ on – so every time one of them told me I had to move on, get over you, I just nodded along to get them off my back. That’s pretty much how things were until Seb came along.”

“What happened then?” Robert asked. It was the first time he’d spoken; until then he’d been sitting entirely still, listening to Aaron with an increasingly stricken expression on his face.

Aaron quirked a smile, the image of three year-old Seb standing in the living room of Ross and Rebecca’s flat flashing in his mind.

“I think… he probably saved me.”

He told Robert about bringing Seb home. The furious resistance he faced from Liv – not to mention his mum and Paddy. The way they refused to acknowledge Seb as Aaron’s responsibility, the increasingly vicious fights between them when they realised he wasn’t giving into them this time. Liv’s repeated insistence that there wasn’t room for Seb in the house. The moment when a realisation had settled over Aaron so clearly – that he couldn’t stay trapped there any longer, he had to get himself and Seb out.

He described the manic couple of weeks that followed; selling the scrapyard, buying Mulberry Cottage, even the ridiculous secret move – the way he, Cain and Victoria had snuck his belongings from one house to the other with Liv being none the wiser.

“That was the night you called me, actually,” he said. “I was stood in this kitchen, surrounded by moving boxes, and suddenly I was talking to you. It was… a weird day, I had no idea what I was doing.”

“It sounded like you did,” Robert said softly. “When I spoke to you, you sounded strong. Sure of yourself.”

“Didn’t feel it at the time. But looking back… it was the best thing I could’ve done. If I hadn’t gotten custody of Seb, if I’d stayed in that house… God knows how things would’ve turned out. I’d probably still be that same broken mess I was before.

There was a dark look brewing in Robert’s eyes, his jaw set in anger.

“You look upset.”

“It’s just… ” Robert breathed shortly through his nose, brow furrowed. “I asked your mum to look after you when I was gone. She _promised_ me she’d take care of you… her and Paddy and the family. I thought Liv would be there for you, too, help you through it, not… ” He shook his head, looking frustrated. “The whole reason I gave myself up was so you could stay with them and now – ”

“Rob… ” Aaron swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t put up with them any – ”

“What? No, don’t be – I’m not angry with you, it’s _them_. If I’d known they’d do that to you, I would’ve… I dunno. I just hate that you went through that, that you felt so alone. That was the last thing I wanted.”

“It was a bad year. But things got better.” He smiled at him. “So to answer your previous question – no, I’m not angry anymore.”

“No?”

“Any anger I had left pretty much died when Seb came along, when I heard your voice on the phone. I had something good in my life again, why would I let anger ruin that? And let’s face it, I never could stay mad at you, could I?”

“No, I suppose not,” Robert smiled back, eyes shining. He chuckled lightly. “I had a word with Seb, too, y’know? He was only little, obviously, not even two, he had no idea what I was saying. But I told him to look after you, stop you from being sad. I didn’t realise he’d take me quite so literally.” 

They grinned at each other, only breaking eye contact when Molly wandered into the kitchen, stretching and whining as she approached her food bowl. Aaron got up to sort her food and fresh water, before returning to his seat opposite Robert.

“I’m sorry about Liv,” he said, sighing unhappily. “She – I had no idea her feelings about you would change the way they did. I dunno what happened, how she got things so twisted.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Robert said, matter-of-fact. “It’s not exactly a huge shock.”

Aaron paused, surprised. “What?”

“Well… that’s how things worked with me and her, isn’t it?” He shrugged, then continued at Aaron’s confused look. “I cared about her, of course I did. And yeah, she tolerated me, didn’t mind me bein’ around… but only as long as I was making you happy. Soon as I wasn't, she’d turn on me, hated my guts – just look at what happened when we broke up. And let’s face it, she wasn’t my biggest fan even when we _were_ together at first. Wanted you all to herself, as I remember it. I think in the end she just realised that you weren’t gonna give me up, no matter how hard she tried. She loved you, and you loved me, so it was just easier if she accepted me being part of her life. The two of us getting along… it was always conditional, Aaron.”

Aaron stared at him, taking in this new information. All these years, he’d dreaded the idea of Robert ever finding out how Liv saw him now, he’d imagined him being hurt, even devastated if he knew some of the things she’d said once he was gone. He hadn’t expected him to shrug in resignation, to act like he didn’t expect anything different.

“That’s… not how I remember it. I thought… ”

“I know,” Robert said gently. “It’s okay.”

He heard an echo of Liv’s voice in his head, the day she tried to tag along when they were on the run, showing up at the house they were hiding in and shouting at him in defiance when he told her she couldn't come.

_You can’t live without him and I can’t live without you._

She came there for him. Not Robert. Suddenly the new perspective was all-too clear. They’d never been the family of three he’d conjured in his head.

“I can’t believe I how blind I was. I got everything so wrong.”

“Aaron… ” Robert’s hand reached out towards his, only for it to freeze and pull back, resting on the table. “You wanted a family, you wanted us all to be happy together. There’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Aaron just sighed heavily. They sat in silence for a minute, until Robert spoke again.

“So you and your family – Liv, your mum and Paddy, that is – how’re things now?”

“Mum goes through phases of either acting like I don’t exist or tryna talk to me – only so she can guilt trip me, mind. Get me back under her thumb. But I don’t let her anywhere near Seb, so I only really see her in the pub or when I pick up Eve.”

“What’s she like? Eve?”

“A sweetheart,” Aaron smiled and nodded to a photo of her, Isaac and Seb on the wall, a picture Aaron had taken of the three of them at the beach last summer. “She’s five now, a bit of a princess, really. Obsessed with the colour pink. I didn’t get to see much of her when I first moved out of the Mill, but once Mum and Paddy split up, she needed help with childcare so Eve ended up spending more time at mine.”

“Chas and Paddy broke up?”

“Yeah. It was messy.”

“What happened?”

“Honestly, things between them started goin’ downhill pretty much as soon as Eve was born. I dunno, I don’t think they ever processed losing Grace properly, then they drove each other mad during the covid lockdown. Mum wasn’t happy. She almost cheated on him not long after, he found out and I thought they’d break up there and then. But they didn’t, they just sort of brushed it under the rug and carried on. Then Paddy planned this ridiculous surprise wedding for them in the spring – ”

“Idea thief,” Robert scowled, and Aaron couldn’t help laughing at the offended look on his face.

“Yeah, well it didn’t exactly work out for them. I mean, Mum went through with it and they acted like everythin’ was fine afterwards but… then she _did_ cheat on him later down the line. For months, with some brewery owner. Once Paddy found out, that was it. She tried to apologise, win him back, but he wasn’t havin’ it, he moved out and never came back. He’s living in Skipdale now, tries to talk to me every now and then, but Cain won’t let ’im near us, not since he found out about what him and Liv did locking me in the Mill. So I don’t think he dares try anything.”

“So Liv – is she still living in the Mill?”

“Yeah, she goes between there and her mum’s.”

“With the boyfriend?”

“Nah. They were together for a while, then they broke up, got back together… They were on and off for ages, he’d move out then move right back in again a few weeks later. Drove Mandy mad, she kept havin’ a go at _me_ about it, like it had owt to do with me. Eventually, he got some job offer somewhere down south and left for good.”

“So she lives alone now?”

“Yep. Gabby moved in for a bit, not long after Vinny left. But you remember what those two were like.” He rolled his eyes at him. “Few months later they fell out, one day Gabby comes storming out with a suitcase, Liv screamin’ at her from the doorway. Think it was the most entertainment the village had all year. Gabby moved to Leeds straight after, so… now it’s just Liv.”

“And you two…” 

“We don’t talk. I don’t wanna hear anythin’ she has to say about you or Seb, and she’s never forgiven me for leaving her. For choosing Seb over her, as she put it.”

“Do you miss her?”

Aaron thought for a moment. “Sometimes. Or… I miss the version of her I had in my head, the cheeky kid who used to make me laugh when she first showed up. But I _don’t_ miss the way she used to make me feel, like I was constantly letting her down, always having to try harder to keep her happy. Like I had to answer to her all the time. I didn’t realise how suffocating living with her was until I left.”

He sighed heavily, scrubbing a hand through his beard. His throat ached from talking for so long. “Any more questions?”

Robert shook his head. “Think I’m all caught up.”

*

While Robert took a shower, Aaron called Victoria.

“No Seb and you’re up before nine on a Saturday,” she teased him. “You feeling alright?”

“I’m good. Listen, can you come over in a bit? Half an hour or so?”

“Er, sure. Why, what’s up?”

“It’s – I don’t wanna say on the phone, better if you just… see for yourself.”

“What’s with the secrecy? Are you alright, d’you want me to come over now? Because I can if you need me.”

“No!” The last thing any of them needed was Victoria turning up just as Robert was stepping out of the shower. “Half an hour’s fine.”

“Alright then. See you later.”

15 minutes later, Robert came back down the stairs, hair damp. 

“God, I’ve missed decent showers. Didn’t expect yours to be quite that fancy, to be honest.”

Aaron smirked. The expensive shower was probably the most indulgent thing he’d installed in the cottage, having become thoroughly spoiled by the ridiculously lavish one Robert put in the Mill. There were some luxuries you just couldn’t come back from.

“Glad it met your standards.”

“Did you call Vic?”

“Yeah, she’ll be here soon.”

Even as Robert nodded, there was a flash of apprehension on his face.

“Hey, it’s okay. She’ll be made up to see you.”

“Yeah. Just… nervous.”

Those nerves only increased when the knock on the door finally came, Robert backing further into the living room as Aaron went to answer it.

“Alright?” Vic asked, peeking at him from under her hood. “Let me in, I’m getting soaked!”

“One second, Vic, I need to tell you – ”

“What’s going on? Why’re you bein’ weird?”

“Alright, come in, just… don’t freak out, okay?”

Victoria frowned and pushed her way past him, coming to a sudden halt when she saw who was standing in front of her. Her jaw dropped, eyes practically bulging out of her head.

“Robert?”

He smiled tentatively, looking almost as apprehensive as he had the night before.

“Hi, Vic.”

The ringing silence was only broken when Victoria burst into tears.

*

It took two glasses of water and several long hugs to calm Victoria down. By the time Robert had finished explaining what had happened, with a little help from Aaron, they were both a mess.

“I can’t believe it,” Vic cried for the dozenth time, blowing her nose. “I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”

“How d’you think _I_ feel?” Robert said dryly, even with his eyes still raw.

“Seb… ” She glanced at Aaron. “He doesn’t know yet.” 

“Nope,” Aaron shook his head, glancing at the time on his phone. “He’s due back in about an hour.”

“God knows what he’s gonna think,” Robert said, picking at his nails until Vic laid a hand on his arm.

“He’ll be over the moon.”

“That’s what I keep tellin’ him.”

Victoria’s eyes were suddenly clouded with concern. “I wonder if Wendy knows you’ve been released.”

Robert frowned. “Wendy Posner?”

Victoria hesitated. Aaron could see her trying to choose her words, trying to figure out how to tell Robert about some of the things that had happened, some of the choices she’d made in the months after his imprisonment. He decided to leave them to it.

“I’m gonna take Molly for a walk,” he said, picking up the dog leash and beckoning her over to his side. “Give you two some space.”

Robert’s head shot up, anxiety written all over his face. “But Seb's coming.”

“I won’t go far. I’ll be back by the time he gets here, promise.” 

Aaron stepped out into the drizzle and pulled his hood up, laughing as Molly barked and tugged impatiently on the leash. “I know, I owe you a proper walk. Let’s go.”

He set off through the village, breathing in the fresh air and allowing his mind to wander back to the cottage. He wondered exactly what Victoria was telling Robert.

She and Luke had broken up a few months into 2021. Aaron wasn’t sure exactly what happened; he knew that Victoria had been the one to end it but she hadn’t told him why and he hadn’t pried. Luke had been gutted, moping around the village like a lost puppy, his face even more miserable than usual. Eventually, he moved away, and Wendy had soon followed him. She’d been quick to turn on Vic once again, this time for breaking her son’s heart. Their relationship had soon soured, and now Vic only saw her when she took Harry for the occasional awkward visit. 

_“I dunno what I was thinking,” she sighed to Aaron over a bottle of wine, not long after Wendy left. “Why I was so desperate to make peace with her. I think maybe… I’d lost Robert and Andy, my gran died, I was terrified of raising Harry on my own. You an’ me… things were a bit weird between us after Robert. Part of me wonders if I was just trying to – to force a relationship, latch onto their family because I was sad about losing my own. Does that sound mad?”_

_Aaron shrugged. “Nah, I don’t think so. You know what I thought of her, but after everythin’ you’d been through… grief makes us do funny things, I suppose.”_

_She nodded slowly, swirling her wine around in its glass. “But when Seb came back, and I heard from Robert that Christmas, then you and me started spending more time together… it was like I suddenly remembered what having a real family was actually like. Things with Wendy and Luke felt really… fake all of a sudden. Like I’d just been trying to make up for something that was missing. That’s what my therapist suggested, anyway.”_

Whatever Victoria told him, Robert would understand. He was the most forgiving, understanding person Aaron knew, despite what he’d have some people think. Aaron doubted five years in prison would have changed that.

He walked through the woods and circled back to the village, giving what he hoped was a normal smile to anyone he bumped into. For all Robert was a free man now, it felt a little like he was harbouring a fugitive, oddly nervous someone might know who was in his house just by looking at him.

As he approached the pub, Moira’s van suddenly pulled up outside, Seb waving at him from the passenger seat. With Moira’s help, he climbed out and raced over to him, bobble hat bouncing on his head.

“Hiya!”

“Hey, kiddo,” Aaron smiled and bent down to give him a long cuddle. With everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, it felt like an age since he’d seen him. “You have a good time?”

“Yeah, we made the gingerbread house! But then me an’ Isaac kept eating bits so it fell down.”

“I managed to get a photo before they demolished it,” Moira said. “I’ll send it to you.”

“Cheers. Was he alright?”

“Good as gold, same as always.” She smiled and passed Seb his backpack. “I’ll see you at the school gates on Monday, Seb.”

“’Kay.”

“What d’you say?” Aaron whispered.

“Thank you for havin’ me!”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. You can come over any time, keep being a good influence on Isaac for me.”

As Moira headed into the pub with her deliveries, Aaron shot a quick text to Victoria, giving her and Robert a warning that they were coming.

“Daddy, can we go home?” Seb took Molly’s leash from him and started wandering towards the cottage.

Aaron walked alongside him, heart hammering in his chest as he tried to figure out what the hell he was going to say. For all his confidence when he was assuring Robert that everything would be fine, he had no idea how to do this.

As they approached the front garden, he took Seb’s hand in his and crouched down in front of him.

“Hey, so… there’s a bit of a surprise for you inside.”

That got Seb’s interest, and he looked at Aaron curiously. “A Christmas surprise?”

“No. Well, kind of.” He took Seb gently by the shoulders, smiling at him as Molly sat patiently by their sides. “You know how you’ve been waiting for a card from Dad?”

Seb nodded. Aaron took a deep breath.

“How d’you fancy the real thing instead?”

*

The reunion between Robert and Seb was an emotional one. Aaron had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the tears at bay as he watched them hug each other tightly. When they’d walked in Seb had been hesitant for all of five seconds, staring at Robert, who was stood shaking in the corner.

“Daddy?”

Robert had cracked a tiny smile, whispered hello, and that had been it.

Seb practically launched himself at him, and he hadn’t really let go since. Aaron and Victoria watched as he babbled away to Robert, asking him question after question, telling him all sorts about himself and wanting to know whether Robert liked all the letters and drawings he’d posted.

Robert had just watched him with a slightly overwhelmed look on his face, doing his best to keep up and answer each question Seb fired at him. When Seb brought up his drawings, he pulled out a slightly crumpled pile of papers that Aaron realised contained everything Seb had ever sent him.

“I kept them all, see? Put them on my wall so I could look at them every day.”

Seb blushed tomato red, a pleased grin on his face.

“And here’s your card.” Robert pulled out the second red envelope he’d brought and held it out to him. “Sorry I didn't post it sooner, I wanted to give it to you myself.”

Seb tore into it, beaming as he opened it and read the words.

“I’ll put it with my other ones. They’re in my room, you wanna see?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

Seb took the stairs two at a time, bounding ahead of Robert, who paused to glance back at Aaron with wide eyes.

“Thought you said he was shy.”

Aaron shrugged his shoulders in amusement. “Only with strangers.”

A look of barely concealed elation crossed Robert's face as he caught Aaron's meaning, and he turned to follow Seb upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me trying to make sense of the way victoria's being written at the moment. not sure if i quite managed it but i tried lol.


	10. Chapter 10

They decided it was probably best if Robert moved into Keeper’s Cottage, at least for the time being. Seb had pouted and crossed his arms with as much outrage as a seven year-old could muster, demanding to know why Robert couldn’t just stay with them. Part of Aaron was half-inclined to agree with him, he didn’t want to let Robert out of his sight… but he knew it had to be this way. Robert had told him he didn’t want to rush things, didn’t want to cause too much upheaval in Seb’s everyday life, and he was right.

“I’m only over the road, though,” Robert knelt in front of Seb as he left, and pointed at Keeper’s. “We’ll still see loads of each other.”

Seb made a great show of sighing dramatically, so put-upon Aaron had to stifle a laugh. “Alright. As long as you promise to come round every day.”

“Well, that’s up to you and Daddy but – ”

“You’d better be round every day,” Aaron said lightly. “You know you’re welcome anytime.”

Robert blinked, before reaching out to shake Seb’s hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

*

On Sunday morning, they went for a walk with Seb and Molly.

They wandered aimlessly around the outskirts of the village, sometimes chatting to Seb, sometimes to each other when he ran ahead with Molly or started playing with football. They mostly stuck to lighthearted topics, Aaron filling Robert in on various things he’d missed over the last few years. Who’d left the village, who’d arrived, who was still living where or doing what.

As they turned a corner, Robert’s feet slowed, his attention clearly wandering as he stopped walking altogether. Aaron realised he was looking at the Mill, eyebrows raised in shock. Aaron couldn’t blame him; the last time Robert had seen the place it had been in pristine condition.

“I didn’t realise – I saw it the night I got here but it was dark, I couldn’t see… ”

“Yeah… told you it had changed a bit.”

“Can she not afford to look after the place properly or something?” Robert asked, the corners of his mouth downturned.

Aaron supposed it must be a bit of a kick in the teeth – spending all of your time and money fixing a house up from scratch until you’d got it perfect, only to see it in such a neglected state just a few years later.

“I dunno,” he shrugged, staring at the dilapidated building. “She’s had a few jobs over the years but they never seem to last long. No idea why, s’just what I hear from the usual gossips.”

Robert sighed, watching Seb laugh as he tried to wrestle his ball off Molly. “You said she’s back in the village?”

“According to my mum. Come on.” He tugged on Robert’s sleeve. “Let’s go to the cafe, get some breakfast.”

A flash of apprehension crossed Robert’s face. “Or we could just have something at yours?”

“But they have croissants at the cafe, Daddy,” Seb insisted, picking up his football and running to his side. “They’re really good.”

Robert sighed and nodded, letting Seb grab his hand and pull him along. “Well, if they have croissants… ”

“This’ll probably work in our favour, actually.” Aaron said as they approached the door, Seb darting ahead to push it open. “Soon as you set foot in here, the whole village will know you’re back within an hour, tops. It’ll save you having to bump into people and deal with the same reactions over and over again.”

“Yeah, suppose word’ll spread the second Brenda’s clocked eyes on me.”

“Oh, it’s not Brenda anymore,” Aaron smirked as they walked inside.

“Then who – ?”

“Robert Sugden.” Nicola’s voice rang loudly through the cafe. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

Robert startled, eyes flying around the room until they landed on Nicola standing in an apron with her hands on her hips.

“What am _I_ doing here? What the hell are _you_ working at the cafe?”

“I think you’ll find it’s _my_ cafe now,” Nicola smirked. “Jimmy and I have turned this place around if you must know.”

“You’ve been busy, then.”

“Some of us haven’t been sat on our backsides in a cell for the last few years, had to find something to do with our time.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Nicola held out for a few seconds, before cracking a wide smile and bellowing Jimmy’s name, loud enough to make every customer jump in their seats. Seb put his hands over his ears with a wince. The man in question came bumbling out from the back, gasping when he saw who was standing there.

“Robert? Is that really you?”

“Lost your eyesight, have you? Jesus Jimmy, I wasn’t gone that long.”

Jimmy just laughed and quickly rounded the counter to launch himself at Robert, clapping him on the back and squeezing tightly until Robert’s face turned red. Jimmy finally released him and ushered him towards a table, practically forcing him into the chair.

“What can we get you? Anything you want, on the house.”

“Just this once,” Nicola added, wiping the table down. “As long as you tell us how you managed to talk your way out of a life sentence.”

And so, Aaron’s plan worked. Within the next few hours everyone in the village knew that Robert had been released from prison, as well as the how’s and why’s. For the rest of the weekend, instead of shocked gasps and confused questions, all he had to contend with were nods of acknowledgement and cheerful – if slightly awkward – greetings and welcome homes.

The only hiccup came when they went to the pub that evening. Although Bob and Matty were the ones serving, Aaron’s mum soon appeared from the back, marching around the bar with an incensed look on her face.

“It’s true, then?” Her voice was shrill, hair flying wildly in all directions as she came to a halt at their table. 

A few people glanced in their direction, and Aaron felt Robert tense next to him.

“You’re actually back. I can’t _believe_ – ”

“Keep it down, will you?” Aaron snapped, gesturing to where Seb was sat at the next table over, talking to Harry and Theo. “Try not to make a scene for once.”

“No, I will _not_ keep it down. I just heard – I had to hear it from _Bob_ , Aaron, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why would I tell you?” Aaron said. Out of the corner eye, he felt Robert’s head turning to him, probably in surprise at his cold tone. “Not like it’s any of your business, is it?”

“So what, he gets to walk back into your life like nothing happened, is that it?”

“ _He_ is sat right here,” Robert muttered. “Nice to see you too, Chas.”

Her eyes snapped to him. “Well, I wish I could say the same.”

“Mum – ”

“You can’t be serious, love, you can’t expect me to stand by and watch you let him just show up after five years, after dumping his kid on you without – ”

“That’s _enough_.” Aaron quickly glanced back towards Seb, relieved to see that Vic and David had quickly steered all three kids out of earshot towards the bar, letting them choose some crisps. “I’m not interested in your opinion. You don’t get a say in my life anymore, you haven’t for years.”

“And we know why, don’t we?” She threw a dark look in Robert’s direction.

“Because you were being a controlling cow, apparently,” Robert said, eyebrows raised. 

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” His voice was quiet, but there no mistaking the ire in it. “Not exactly what I thought you meant when you promised me you’d take care of him. I didn’t think you’d spend a year making him miserable.”

“You – ” She pointed a finger at him, teeth bared in a snarl. “I did my best to support him, help him move on from you. You have no right to speak to me like that, after the state you left my son in. You break his heart, then force him to take your son in, turn him against his family – ” 

“How could he force me to do anything?” Aaron shot her down exasperatedly. “He wasn’t even here!”

“Yes, remind me why that was again, son,” she smirked, triumphant. “Oh yes, because he thought he was above the law. Because he swanned around doing whatever he wanted without giving a damn who he hurt in the process. Because he is a selfish bastard who didn’t care that he ruined your life _again_ , just as long as he got his precious revenge. You might’ve forgotten that, but I haven’t.”

Aaron saw Robert flinch at that, shoulders falling. He scowled and slowly got to his feet.

“Robert didn’t turn me against you, Mum. You did that all by yourself. Same as Liv and Paddy.”

Her jaw fell open slightly, looking at Aaron like he'd betrayed her.

“And you don’t talk to him like that in front of me, ever.”

“But Aaron, I only wanted what was best for you. I always have, even if you can’t see it.”

“I can see just fine, thanks.”

She floundered for a moment, before falling back on her old warning. “He’ll hurt you again. People like him, they don’t change.”

Christ, it was like he'd gone back in time.

“Stop.”

“I’m right, though – ”

“When are you gonna get it?” Aaron hissed, fists clenched. “You and me, we’re done. Nothing you say or do is gonna change that.”

There was a long silence. His mum stared at them, eyes blazing with anger.

“Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’ll just tell your little sister you won’t be able to take her to Santa’s Grotto next week after all, then? Since you’ll be _so busy_ playing happy families with your ex?”

“Don’t you dare,” Aaron said lowly. “You know I’d never let Eve down like that. And don’t even try keepin’ her away from me as some sort of… _punishment_ either, she doesn’t deserve that. I’m serious.” 

She stared him down for a moment, before huffing and walking away, boots stomping across the floor as she disappeared into the back once more.

Aaron sank back into his seat and let out a long whoosh of air. He heard Robert do the same.

“I’m sorry.”

Robert shrugged, head hung low. “It’s okay. Not like I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Now you see why I don’t want her around Seb. Part of me used to hope she’d come around, but she’s… you know… ” 

Robert’s mouth twitched. “Your mum.” 

“Yeah.” Aaron shot him a quick grin. “Almost like the old days, eh?”

“Hm, not quite. I’ve never seen you talk to her like that before.”

“Well, I told you, things’ve changed.”

Robert’s smile dimmed a fraction, and he fiddled with a coaster on the table. “You know, some of what she said… she wasn’t exactly wrong.”

Aaron sighed, knowing exactly which parts Robert would’ve taken to heart.

_He’s a selfish bastard who didn’t care that he ruined your life again, just as long as he got his precious revenge._

“It was a load of rubbish.”

“Aaron – ”

“No, look it’s – ” Aaron sighed and rubbed a hand across his beard, choosing his words carefully. “What happened, happened. It’s done. And yeah, maybe we still need to talk about it at some point. But we can’t change the past, Robert. You’re back, we’ve got Seb, I have more than I ever thought I'd – look, just believe me when I tell you I want to move on from what’s gone before. Okay?”

He held Robert’s gaze, staring up into familiar green eyes. Robert stared back at him, searching for… something, Aaron wasn’t sure what. He must’ve found it, though, because his features relaxed and he smiled softly. Aaron felt his pulse quicken, memories of the times Robert used to smile at him like that flashing in his mind.

“Okay,” Robert whispered. “I believe you.”

*

It was a battle to get Seb to attend school on the Monday morning, seeing as he was desperate to spend as much time with Robert as possible.

“I’ll see you tonight, mate, I promise,” Robert said, trying not to laugh as he watched Aaron wrangle his protesting son into the car. “And soon we’re gonna have the whole Christmas holiday to spend together, you’ll be sick of me by January.”

Seb just huffed and shook his head as Aaron shut the back door in his furious face.

“This is your fault,” he grumbled to Robert as he climbed into the driver’s seat. “He’s never even thought about skiving a day in his life, not until you showed up.”

Robert smirked and leant into the window from his spot on the kerb. “Not my fault he can’t get enough of me.”

“Whatever. I’m giving his teacher your phone number, you can be the one to explain why he was late.”

Robert just cheerfully waved them goodbye.

Aaron supposed he couldn’t blame Seb for the separation anxiety. Going to the garage after dropping him off was the last thing he wanted to do, not when he knew Robert was right there, just across the road.

“So,” Cain said as soon as he turned up, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Ryan while they drank their first teas of the day. “I hear a certain someone’s rocked up at your door.”

“He turned up here actually,” Aaron said, tying his overalls at the waist. “Nearly give me a heart attack while I was locking up.”

“When am I gonna meet him, then?” Ryan asked, grinning. ”Famous Robert Sugden, I’ve gotta see this bloke for myself.”

“I dunno, maybe tomorrow.”

“Or maybe right now,” Cain said with a smirk, gesturing over Aaron’s shoulder.

He spun around to see Robert coming towards them, two coffee cups in his hand.

“I er… was just getting a coffee, thought you might want one, too.”

“Thanks.” Aaron took it from him with a smile. “You didn’t have to.” 

Robert just shrugged, shoving a hand in his pocket. It was mad how happy Aaron was to see him, considering they'd only said goodbye barely an hour ago. They looked at each other for a long moment, until someone loudly cleared their throat behind him.

“Sugden,” Cain nodded.

“Hi, Cain.” Robert’s greeting was slightly nervous. For all that Aaron had told him about the support Cain had given him over the years, that he was pretty much Aaron’s only family member to be on his side when it came to Robert… he could still see the trepidation in Robert’s eyes, no doubt remembering the earful Chas had given him the day before. “Alright?”

Cain stepped forward and clapped a hand on Robert’s shoulder. “Good to have you back.

“Oh. Um, thanks.”

“Have to buy you a pint next time you’re in the pub, celebrate you bein’ a free man again.”

While Robert was still clearly trying to wrap his mind around the positively warm welcome Cain was giving him, Ryan appeared in front of him. 

“Alright, mate?” He offered Robert his hand. “I’m Ryan.”

“Nice to meet you,” He shook it politely. “Aaron says you two knew each other back in the day.”

“That’s right,” Ryan nodded. “And I was mates with your brother, too.”

“Oh.” Robert’s nose wrinkled.

“Try not to hold that against him,” Aaron grinned, elbowing Ryan until he walked away. “And cheers for the coffee.”

“No problem.” Robert’s smile was almost bashful. With his too-long hair lying flat on his forehead, he almost looked like he did when he’d come to the garage bearing coffee all those years ago. Other than a few wrinkles, nothing had changed. “Right, I promised Diane I’d go round to hers for a catchup, so I’d better… ”

He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

“Okay. Moira brings Seb back from school around 4. Fancy tea in the pub?” 

“Sounds good. I’ll… see you later, then?”

“Yeah. See you.”

“Okay. Bye, then.”

“Bye, Rob.”

As Robert walked away, Aaron took a sip of his coffee – strong with one sugar, just how he liked it – and turned to see Ryan looking at him with wide eyes.

“What?”

“Wow.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Nothing,” Ryan singsonged, holding his hands up.

Before Aaron could question him any further, Cain was shouting the location of breakdown that needed picking up.

*

The rest of the week passed quickly. True to his word, Robert was around every day, spending time with Seb either at home or by taking him out after school for festive activities. As the villagers got used to seeing him around again, he seemed to settle more with each passing day.

Aaron returned the few items of clothing that he’d kept after Robert had gone to prison, and as he slipped his old leather jacket on – now too big for him, but not noticeably so – he looked a little more comfortable in his own skin. He got a haircut, started using the gel Victoria had bought him to style it again. He started walking a little taller around the village.  He was still quieter than Aaron remembered, occasionally turning nervous or timid in a way no one had seen before, but some of his confidence began to return. 

He was still Robert.

*

“Okay, that’s your lot for tonight.” Aaron put the bookmark in Seb’s latest bedtime story and slid it back in his bookcase. It was Friday night, and he was well and truly knackered. So was Seb, if his lack of chatter and repeated yawns were anything to go by. Aaron tucked the covers snugly under his chin and knelt next to the bed.

“Okay?” He asked, gently stroking Seb’s hair the way he did most nights before he went to sleep. 

“Yeah.”

Aaron’s eyes fell on what looked like a highlighted script at the foot of Seb’s bed.

“Those your nativity lines?”

Seb nodded, face half-hidden in his stuffed elephant. “Will you help me learn them?”

“Course I will.”

“D’you think Daddy will want to come see my show?”

“I’m sure he’d love to. Why don’t you ask him?”

“He doesn’t like lots of people,” Seb said quietly, fiddling with the elephant’s left ear. “Might not wanna come to the school.”

Aaron’s hand stilled, not for the first time amazed at how astute kids could be – his in particular. 

While Robert was mostly fine when they went out and about in the village, anywhere bigger or busier was another story. The few times they’d gone into town with Seb – once to see the Christmas lights and once to the ice rink – he’d clearly been struggling. Though he never said a word, it was impossible not to notice the way he shrank into himself and stayed practically glued to Aaron’s side, his eyes darting anxiously across the crowds. The way he flinched when anyone got too close.

“You noticed that, eh?” Seb just shrugged. “Tell you what, I need to get tickets for me, Auntie Vic and Diane anyway, why don’t I ask Dad if he wants me to get him one as well?”

“Okay.”

Aaron sighed and resumed stroking Seb’s hair.

“How’re you doing with all this, then? With Dad being back, I mean.” For all Seb was clearly delighted to have Robert in his life, suddenly gaining a parent who you’d previously only known through stories and pictures had to be a big change for a seven year-old. “Nice having him around?”

“Yeah. He’s cool.”

Aaron couldn’t help laughing at that. “I think you’re probably the first person to call him that, mate. I’ll let him know, he’ll be chuffed.”

“He’s staying, right? He won’t have to go away again?”

Aaron shook his head firmly. “He’s not going anywhere, kid. We’re stuck with him.”

Seb just looked at him.

“He loves the bones of you, okay? Just as much as I do.”

Seb cracked a smile at that, looking more reassured. “Love you too, Daddy.”

Aaron pressed a kiss to Seb’s forehead and rose to his feet, flicking the bedside lamp off so the room was only lit by the slightly faded glow of the ceiling stars.

“And I’m sure he’ll say yes when I ask him to come to your show.”

“Okay.” Seb snuggled down into his pillow, eyes drooping. “But tell him it’s fine if he can’t come.”

*

“Of course I’ll come!” Robert said as soon as Aaron asked. They were wandering through the village, Aaron playing fetch with Molly as they went. They’d developed a habit of taking long walks over the last week; Aaron had a feeling Robert was making the most of being allowed out in the fresh air again, reacquainting himself with the wide, open spaces. “Are you kidding me? I’ve missed out on five years of his life, no way am I missing something like that.”

“I thought you’d say that,” Aaron smiled and threw Molly’s ball for her. “He was just worried about how many people there’d be at the school. He knows you’re not good with crowds.”

Robert’s face fell. “He’s noticed?”

“Pretty observant, our kid.”

“Shit.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Seb knowing that you’re having a bit of a tough time isn’t the end of the world, Rob. He won’t break.”

“I’m – it’s not that – ” Robert sighed and looked frustrated with himself. “I can handle being around other people, it’s just the noise, sometimes. And if it’s busy, people get too close to me, and it makes me… ”

“It’s alright, I get it. Look, there’s a group of us going to the show, right? You, me, Vic and Diane. Plus Cain, Moira and Kyle watching Isaac. If you’re sitting with us, say between me and Vic, then no one else can touch you. Maybe you’ll feel safer.”

Robert thought for a moment, before nodding with relief. “That’ll be… yeah, I think that should help.”

They walked silence a few minutes, eyes on Molly as she ran back and forth.

“I need to pick your brains about Seb, actually,” Robert finally said. 

Aaron hummed questioningly.

“I was hoping – I want to get him a Christmas present. And I have no idea where to start.”

“Sure you do. You know what he likes.”

“I know the basics, but not… ” Robert sighed. “I wanna make sure it’s right. I thought about getting him some art stuff, new pencils or paints or something, but he already has loads in his room, he showed me.”

“Yeah, he’s got a bit of a studio going up there. But he’s always after more, he’d love that.”

“No,” Robert insisted, looking unhappy. “It has to be perfect. I owe him that.”

“Rob, you could give the kid a lump of coal and he’d smile and say thank you.”

“Because he’s polite.”

“No – well, yes, but my point is, he’d love it because it’s from _you_. He adores you, surely you get that by now?” At Robert’s silence, Aaron nudged him. “Maybe don’t overthink it. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself, yeah?”

“Okay. But can you at least point me in the right direction? Some do’s and don’t’s, maybe?”

“Alright. Erm, he loves reading, but you’ve probably picked that up by now. Horrible Histories is his latest thing, he’s asked for two more of them from Santa. He likes superheroes and Doctor Who, and he’s pretty into board games. And Pixar. He’s not really into science-y stuff – other than space – so I’d steer clear of that sort of thing. Diane bought him a chemistry set for his last birthday; he played with it while she was there to see, then as soon as she left it went straight under his bed and it’s lived there ever since.”

He shrugged. “Any of that useful?”

Robert scrunched his face up and shook his head. “Not really. I already know all of that.”

Aaron laughed and threw his hands in the air. “Because you know him, Robert! That’s what I’ve been tryna tell you, you idiot.”

Robert gave him a sheepish look, and Aaron couldn’t help taking pity on him.

“Tell you what. I’ve still got to get him some things. Why don’t we go shopping together, on a weekday when it’s not so busy? I’ll help you pick something.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Robert nodded, relief clear on his face. “So he’s not keen on science, dare I ask if he likes maths? I don't think he's mentioned it.”

Aaron pulled a face and shook his head. “Hates it with a passion. Honestly, it’s a good thing you came back when you did, another couple of years and I won’t be much help with his homework. I was dreading the day he started learning algebra, but now you can take over for me.”

Robert rolled his eyes but chuckled fondly, like he was pleased at the prospect of actually being around to help his son with his homework in the coming years.

“Well, glad to know I’m good for… ” He trailed off, staring up ahead of them.

Aaron frowned and followed his gaze, tensing when he spotted Liv standing several feet away, watching them. Even from a distance, he could see the dark glare on her face.

It hadn’t been the first time. They’d seen Liv staring at them more than once, and Robert had told Aaron he’d seen her a few times when he’d been out on his own, too. She never said anything, though, simply turning around and walking away.

She did the same now, zipping her hoodie up and heading in the direction of the Mill. Robert watched her go, looking uncomfortable. Aaron gave his arm a gentle squeeze.

“Ignore her.”

“Why does she never say anything? I thought she would’ve at least screamed a few obscenities in my face by now.”

“I dunno. She’s not said a word to me in four years.”

“You live in the same village, how does that even work?”

“You’d be surprised,” Aaron said with a shrug. 

“Puts me on edge, looking up and seein’ her just standing there.”

“I told you, just ignore it. She’ll get bored eventually.”

Robert nodded, but didn’t look entirely convinced. Aaron couldn’t blame him. For all his reassurances, it was putting him on edge, too.

*

The next week raced by even faster than the last one, and before they knew it, it was Seb’s last day at school before the holidays – which meant it was the day of his nativity.

Aaron held his breath as they walked into the school hall, silently praying Robert would be alright. He needn’t have worried; while Robert had initially been visibly nervous walking through the doors, he managed to relax once they took their seats, sticking to their plan of sandwiching himself between Vic and Aaron. The only giveaway of any lingering tension was the way he played with the program in his hands, twisting and folding it distractedly. Just as the show was about to start, Aaron laid a hand over Robert's fist where it was clenched around the paper.

“You good?”

“I'm good.” Robert's grip loosened under his hand and he huffed a small laugh. “Honestly, I think I'm more anxious for Seb than anythin' else. He seemed a bit nervous this morning.”

“He'll be fine, we've gone over his lines a thousand times. Bit of stage fright's probably normal.”

They spent the first part of the show suppressing their snickers as Isaac blundered his way across the stage as he carried Mary (played by Dotty for the second year in a row) to Bethlehem. Whatever directions the teachers had given him, it seemed he’d chosen to ignore them and do his own thing instead. By the time they made it to the stable, he’d knocked half the set over in his enthusiasm. Cain and Moira watched in resignation, heads in their hands.

Seb’s performance went a little more smoothly. Although he nearly lost his crown when he went to present his frankincense to the baby Jesus (which, frankly, was the creepiest-looking doll Aaron had ever seen), he remembered his lines (all two of them), and finished his final scene with a grin and a sigh of relief.

Once the play had ended, there was a short – but _loud_ – carols performance that had most of the people in the audience trying not to wince.

“How long does this bit normally last?” Robert whispered out of the corner of his mouth, sometime around the second verse of _Away in a Manger_. He looked like he was wishing he’d brought some earplugs.

“Too long.”

Eventually, the songs came to an end and the kids took their bows. As they all clapped and cheered, Aaron turned to look at Robert. His eyes were solely fixed on the stage, whistling loudly as Seb gave them a slightly bashful but pleased wave. 

As Aaron watched the way Robert’s face lit up, laugh lines deepening as he grinned up at Seb, there was only one single thought that crossed his mind.

_God, I still love you._


	11. Chapter 11

On the day before Christmas Eve, Aaron stopped at the cafe on his way to work. As he walked through the door, he came to a swift halt at the scene in front of him.

There stood Robert behind the counter, wearing an apron covered in a festive snowman print, sprinkling what looked like cinnamon on Tracy’s coffee for her. As she handed over her money and took her drink, Aaron moved to the counter with a raised eyebrow. Robert spotted him and shot him a smile.

“Oh, hiya.”

“Hi?”

“On your way to work?” 

“Yeah… just grabbing some brekkie for me and Ryan.”

“Where’s Seb?”

“Baking with Diane – sorry, what’s happening?”

“Hm?”

Aaron gestured to him standing behind the counter.

“Oh, well… Jimmy and Nicola said they could do with an extra pair of hands and I was at a loose end.”

“So you work here now?”

“Just over the holidays, while their kids are off school. Maybe longer, we didn’t really discuss beyond Christmas.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing, just… never thought I’d see you working in the cafe of all places.”

Robert blinked at him. “It’s not exactly rocket science.”

“Didn’t say it was a bad thing… that apron’s workin’ for you if nothing else.” 

He gave Robert a teasing – perhaps bordering on flirtatious – smile, which only widened when Robert rolled his eyes, his cheeks turning pink.

He cleared his throat. “So did you want…?”

“Oh yeah, uh… two bacon sarnies and coffees to go, please?”

*

“Okay, I’ve gotta ask, mate. What the hell’s going on here? What’re you doing?”

Aaron stared at Ryan, before tapping the bonnet of the Ford Fiesta in front of them.

“Car’s not working. We figure out what’s wrong with it, fix it, then give it back to the owner in exchange for money. Same as every other day.”

Ryan scoffed and pointed at Aaron’s takeaway coffee cup, which he’d just removed the lid from to cool it down. Robert had dusted a sprinkling of cocoa powder in the shape of a heart over the foam.

“I’m just sayin’, if _my_ ex gave me any sort of beverage with a little heart on the top, I’d be checking it for poison.”

“Right, so…?”

“So what’s up with you two? Are you back together or what?”

Aaron shook his head.

“Why not? It’s obvious you’re both still mad about each other.”

“What – how is it _obvious_?”

“It’s, y’know… ” Ryan waved his hand in the air. “All that mushy stuff you do.”

When Aaron pulled a face, he kept talking.

“The coffees, the little looks, gazin’ into each other’s eyes, him popping up here for no reason other than to see you, going on these all these walks together like you’re – you’re Elizabeth and Darcy or somethin’.”

Aaron frowned. “Who?”

“From Pride and Prejudice,” Cain muttered, coming out of the office with a clipboard. At Aaron and Ryan’s stare, he shrugged. “What? Moira made me watch it.”

“So,” said Ryan, turning his attentions back to Aaron. “You want him back, right?”

Aaron thought about the lingering looks, the way he let his hand brush against Robert’s while they walked, the way he could watch Robert playing with Seb forever, the fact that he’d taken out the old wedding rings every night in the last week, running his thumb delicately over the bands.

“I do, yeah.”

“And he wants you.”

“I dunno if he feels – ”

“Nah, he does. I only met the bloke a couple of weeks ago and even I can see that.”

Something warm settled in Aaron’s stomach, and he turned his face further towards the car, hiding the smile he was biting down.

“So what’s stopping you, mate?”

“A lot’s happened… and there’s Seb to think about… ” 

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” Cain called from further back in the garage. “Just tell Sugden you still fancy the pants off him so you can get back together and put us all out of our misery.”

* 

“So,” Robert said, swinging Seb’s hand in his as they walked towards the village hall. There was a light snowfall coming down, gradually dusting the fields from green to white. “Since when has there been an official Emmerdale Christmas Eve party?”

“Since forever!”  


Aaron chuckled and shook his head, grabbing hold of Seb’s other hand. “Nicola, Bob and Manpreet started it a few years back. First year they put on a panto – they tried to do it again the next year but no one was keen for a repeat. But they decided there should still be some sort of community Christmas thing so they started usin’ the hall for a village party instead. It's not bad, actually.”

“It’s great,” Seb insisted. “There’s a buffet and music and games _and_ a raffle – I won a massive selection box last year!”

“Mum and Charity weren’t best pleased when it started, since everyone bein’ at the hall means they not spending money in the pub. But most of the child-free people still go for a drink there after so it’s not like the place is left totally empty.”

As they approached the fairy light covered hall, sounds of Christmas music and raucous laughter spilled from inside, and Seb dropped both their hands to run ahead excitedly.

“You sure you’re up for this?” Aaron asked.

“It’s just the village hall, Aaron,” Robert smiled, holding the door open for him. “I’m sure I’ll manage.”

*

The party was loud, tacky and festive. Just like every year.

Villager after villager piled in, the kids running excitedly around the room, hyped up on too much sugar, while the adults congregated in various groups, mulled wine flowing freely. Seb soon disappeared to play with the other kids, occasionally running back to Aaron or Robert’s side before taking off a few minutes later.

About an hour into the evening, Aaron felt something crash into his legs next to the buffet table, and looked down to see Eve beaming up at him.

“Hi, Aaron!” 

“Hey trouble, you alright?”

She nodded and spun around, glitter from her skirt flying everywhere. “Granny Faith sent me a new dress, d’you like it?”

“It’s lovely, sweetheart, even nicer than your last new pink one. Did you come over with Mummy?”

“No, she’s still at the pub. Uncle Cain and Auntie Moira brought me with Kyle and Isaac.”

Aaron glanced up to see them near the entrance, Isaac shoving off his coat and tossing it to Moira before making a beeline for Seb, while Kyle wandered towards the corner of the room, head stuck in his phone.

“You all ready for Santa coming, then? Excited?”

“Yes, I’ve been good this year! I hope he leaves me lots of presents.”

“Course he will,” Aaron winked at her. “Y'know I actually had a word with him, it sounds like he might be leaving you some extra ones at my house, too.”

He laughed when Eve’s eyes widened comically. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. You can come open them on Boxing Day, how’s that sound?”

As Eve nodded enthusiastically, Aaron heard the sound of Robert’s laughter. He glanced up to see him stood chatting to Jimmy, Jai and Laurel, an easy grin on his face. He looked relaxed, happy, so much so you'd almost never know he'd been gone for five years.

He set his plate aside and took Eve’s hand. “Hey, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

He steered her over towards the group.  “Eve, this is – ”

“You’re Aaron’s Robert!” Eve interrupted, delighted as she took Robert in.

Jimmy choked on his drink, eyes crinkling in amusement. Robert just huffed a laugh and crouched down to Eve’s level.

“Suppose I am. You must be Eve.”

“Aaron says you two got married _twice_ before.” She held up two fingers.

“Er, yeah we did.”

“Will you do it again now that you’re back?”

And that clearly caught Robert off guard. “Uh – ”

“Can I be a bridesmaid if you do?” She played with her skirt, casually swishing it back and forth as she talked. “I’ve never been one before.”

Robert looked up at Aaron helplessly.

“As you can see, she’s as blunt as the rest of us,” Aaron sighed, ruffling Eve’s hair.

“I like your jumper.” She pointed to the maroon Christmas jumper Robert was wearing, jumping right into a new topic in the way only a five year-old could. “Looks itchy, though.”

“It is a bit,” Robert smiled. "I like your dress, it’s very pretty.”

She grinned, suddenly turning bashful and pressing half her face into Aaron’s jeans.

“Pink’s my favourite.”

“It’s a good choice. I tried to wear a pink jumper once but this one – ” He gestured to Aaron. “ – gave me grief over it, said I looked daft. He made me take it off.”

“Aaron!” She gasped like Robert had just told her Aaron had run over a dog and gave him a scandalised look. “That’s rude!”

“Wow, thanks a lot,” Aaron muttered as Robert’s smile turned smug. He hoisted Eve up, grimacing at the amount of glitter already sticking to his jumper as she leaned against his chest. “I suppose it was a bit. But I only said that because I thought he looked better in blue.”

Eve hummed before looking Robert up and down, considering.

“Yes, blue is nice too.”

“Am I forgiven, then?” Aaron blew a raspberry on her neck, laughing when she screeched and tried to wriggle away.

“What’s this?” The sound of his mum’s voice – overly bright and cheery – could be heard over their laughter, and Aaron turned to see her standing behind them with a hand on her hip.

“Mummy,” Eve cried, oblivious to tightness behind her mum’s false smile. “This is Aaron’s Robert.”

Something unpleasant flashed in her eyes. “Yes love, I know exactly who he is. Listen, your Daddy’s just arrived, you should go say hello to him.”

Aaron lowered Eve to the ground so she could walk off to where Paddy was hovering by the entrance. Chas watched her go, before facing them once more, arms folded across her chest.

“So… ” Aaron spoke just to fill the silence. “You got all her presents sorted, then?”

“Yes, we’re going up to Sam and Lydia’s for the day. Belle’s coming as well. And Liv.” She gave Aaron a pointed look. “She texted to say she’s coming tonight, too. Perhaps you can spare five minutes, deign yourself to speak to her.”

“Why would I – ”

His mum walked away before he could finish. Aaron shook his head and turned back to the group to see everyone looking mildly uncomfortable.

“Well, that was awkward,” Jai muttered, chugging back the last of his mulled wine. “Another drink, anyone?”

*

A few drinks later, their awkward encounter with Chas was nearly forgotten. She kept her distance, and while Paddy threw a few dumbfounded stares in Robert’s direction every now and then, one look at Cain clearly stopped any intentions he had of coming near them.

Aaron and Robert mostly stuck together for the rest of the night, ending up standing chatting to Vic, Ryan and Diane. Seb was on the other side of the room, fully-engrossed with the game of musical statues that Bob was putting on for the kids.

As the five of them were engaging in a heated debate over whether anyone actually liked the taste of Christmas pudding, Victoria’s eyes suddenly widened as she looked over Aaron’s shoulder.

“Er, incoming,” she muttered quietly.

They turned to see Liv walking towards them with a blank expression on her face, coming to a stop in front of Aaron and Robert.

“This looks cozy.”

She was met with silence from the group.

“You not gonna say hello, then?”

Aaron sighed heavily, silently praying whatever this was wouldn’t turn into a public meltdown. “What d’you want, Liv?”

“Nice,” she scoffed, before switching her gaze to Robert. “So how’s this work, then? You get out like, five minutes into your sentence and worm your way back in like you've done nothin' wrong? And everyone's just supposed to accept it, just like that?”

“Liv – ”

“Like you didn't ruin everythin’?” 

“Oi,” Aaron took half a step forwards. “Whatever it is you’ve come here to try and do, pack it in. Whatever happened between me and Robert, he wasn’t the one who ruined things with you and me.”

“Yes it was, it was him!” Liv’s voice rose to an accusatory shout, causing a few people to turn their heads curiously. She returned her attentions to Robert, who was staring at her with his jaw clenched. “You’re the one who messed Aaron up, he was never the same after you left.”

“Liv,” Vic tried. “Come on, that’s not really fair.”

“It’s true!” Liv snapped without taking her eyes off Robert. “You know he pretty much abandoned me, right? And then never spoke to me again?”

“You’re the one who never spoke to me, Liv – ” 

“He never treated me like this until you left him, made him depressed and turned him against me and Chas, everyone who _actually_ cared about him.”

“I think that’s enough out of you, madam,” Diane said firmly. “There's no need to be so nasty – ” 

“It was the same old story,” Liv talked over her, glaring at Aaron. “Robert screws up and leaves you, and I’m the one who has to put up with you when he’s gone.”

She shook her head, arms flying out in wild gestures as she shouted.

“Except this time it was worse. I was the one who had to cope with your drinking and moping around all the time, you refusing to move on or give any other guy the time of day. You make out like I was _so_ hard to live with, when you were the one who was a nightmare to be around. All the mood swings, your temper gettin’ out of control.” There was a ruthless glint in her eye as her head swivelled to Robert, and Aaron just knew the next words out of her mouth were going to be cutting ones. “You know he even _hit_ me once after you left? And this is the bloke social services left your kid with.” 

Aaron’s blood ran cold, and his jaw fell open. He heard Victoria’s sharp intake of breath, felt everyone’s eyes on him. 

“Liv… no, that was an accident. You know I didn’t mean to, you _know_ I felt terrible about it.” She just shrugged like it didn’t matter. Like her words didn’t have the power to make him feel physically sick. He looked at Robert, panicked nausea rising fast in his throat. “Rob, I swear, I was tryna hit Luke, she – she got right behind me but I didn’t know she was there and I clipped her. But I didn’t mean to. Rob, you have to believe me, I’ve never – I’d never hurt – ”

“Course not,” Robert frowned, touching his elbow gently. “Hey, I know you wouldn't hurt him, of course I believe you.”

“Oh sure,” Liv drawled, arms folded. “Explain it away, why am I not – ”

“I think you’ve said quite enough,” Robert snapped loudly. If the people in the hall hadn’t been listening before, they were now. “You know he’d never hurt you on purpose.”

She scoffed. “All he’s done is hurt me.”

“What, by putting a three year-old kid before you and your feelings? By not letting you walk all over him for once?” Robert glowered at her, hands clenched into fists by his sides. “I’ve heard quite a bit about some of _your_ behaviour after I was gone, as it happens. And believe me when I say you don’t come out very well. I don’t blame Aaron for getting the hell away from you.”

“You can’t speak to me like that, you – ”

“I’ll speak to you however the hell I want.” His eyes flashed dangerously, with a fieriness that Aaron hadn’t seen since before he went to prison. “You’re not a kid anymore, so don’t expect me to pull any punches with you.” 

Liv fell silent, looking caught off guard. Clearly, she hadn’t been expecting a fight from him.

“What, good at dishing it out but not taking it?” Robert raised an eyebrow. “Nothing’s changed there, then. What did you think would happen, Liv, that I’d come crawling back begging for us to be mates again? Try and win your approval like all the times before? Grow up.”

He shook his head, laughing mirthlessly.

“I used to really bite my tongue with you, y’know. Every time you pulled some stupid stunt that caused Aaron grief, every time you had a go at him over nothing, every time he gave you another chance and you threw it back in his face, every time you managed to get away with murder by turning on the waterworks so he’d feel bad and let you off.”

Liv’s mouth flew open in outrage, but Robert continued before she had the chance to argue.

“Yeah, don’t think I wasn’t onto you with that, because I was. I’d been manipulating people since before you were even born, you didn’t fool me with your innocent baby sister act. But I never said anything, because I loved Aaron and he always tried so hard to make things work with you. And because I hoped you’d grow out of it… and because a small part of me felt sorry for you.”

Aaron held his breath as the revelatory words spilled out of Robert’s mouth.

“I’m not sayin’ I haven’t screwed up, or that I never hurt him. What I did was the biggest mistake of my life. I’d do anything to take it back and I’ll never stop trying to make up for it.” Robert’s voice quieted, a hint of sadness mixing with his anger. “But you… you don’t get to stand there and judge me, not after some of the things you’ve done over the years. Things you're not even sorry for.”

There was a long silence, the only sound being the Christmas music playing from the tinny speakers. Eventually, Liv was the first one to break it.

“Doesn’t really matter what you think of me, I only came here to tell you I’m leaving. I’m selling the Mill and moving to Dublin. Or maybe I’ll use the money to go travelling.” Her nose wrinkled, like she’d smelled something unpleasant. “I don’t care either way, as long as it gets me out of the village. This place is a dump.”

“Think that’s just your house, actually,” Nicola muttered from somewhere behind them.

“No one asked you, you nosy cow.”

“Lovely manners as ever, Olivia,” Nicola smirked, raising her glass to her. “Good luck selling it in that state, is all I can say.”

Liv just scowled at her, before refocusing on Aaron.

“When my mum asked me to move to Ireland permanently, I told her I’d have to think about it. Thought about maybe seein’ if we could try to talk, just incase there was a chance we could… Then I come back and find you with _him again_. Now I see there’s no point, there’s nothin’ keeping me here.”

Every word she said was dripping with bitterness, and once upon a time, they would’ve made ugly feelings of guilt and remorse twist painfully in Aaron’s gut. He took a deep breath of air, and met her stony expression head on.

“You know what, Liv? I spent so long defending you, sticking up for you when people said you were trouble, tryna convince everyone that you were a good kid underneath all the selfish, stupid things you did over the years. But now that you’ve grown up, seeing how you’ve turned out, the way you treat the people you were supposed to care about… I was wrong, I get that now. You’re right, there’s no point in you bein’ here.”

He shrugged a shoulder and cast a hand towards the door.

“So go. Go travelling, or to your mum’s, wherever. Maybe… your mum’s is where you should’ve been all along.”

Something in Liv’s face fell at that, and she sniffed, blinking back angry tears, but she didn’t move.

“You heard him,” Nicola piped up, sounding beyond annoyed now. “You need to leave, I’m not having you ruining my Christmas party.”

“The _village_ Christmas party,” Jimmy whispered in her ear.

“Whatever,” she snapped, before narrowing her eyes at Liv. “Go on, get out.”

When Liv remained rooted to the floor, Nicola let out an irritated huff and stepped forwards, grabbing her arm.

“Get your hands off me!” Liv shrieked, shoving her away. “I’m goin', alright?” 

She spun around and made a beeline for the exit, pushing past people. Nicola followed close behind her, and as soon as Liv was outside, she slammed the doors shut, dusting her hands together like she was some sort of bouncer. 

“Show’s over, people,” she called loudly, glaring at everyone. “Back to the merriment!”

The onlookers blinked and got back to the party, satisfied that the drama was over. Bob turned the music up, drowning out any lingering awkwardness in the room. 

Aaron exhaled shakily, heart still thudding in his chest.

“Jesus,” Ryan muttered. “She makes the Grinch look like a right laugh.”

“Daddy?” Aaron and Robert both looked down to see Seb had gravitated towards them, his face full of uncertainty.

“Hey mate, it’s okay,” Aaron crouched down quickly, cupping his face.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Robert start to shake and back away slowly.

“Rob, you okay?”

“Yeah, just… ” Robert was breathing heavily, the colour draining from his face. “I just need some air.” 

He practically ran across the hall and bolted through the doors. Aaron swore under his breath, and Seb made a faint noise of distress.

“It’s alright.” He pressed a quick kiss to Seb’s hair. “I’ll go find him, okay? I’ll bring him back, I promise. Vic, can you – ”

She nodded and quickly took Seb's hand, Ryan wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Go after him.” 

*

“So this is where you’re hiding.”

Aaron walked across the bridge, panting as he tried to catch his breath. Robert may have only had a few seconds head start, but Aaron had come out of the village hall to find he’d disappeared into the night. When it turned out he wasn’t at Aaron’s place or Vic’s, he took a lucky guess and headed for the footbridge. Robert was stood in the middle of it, staring down into the half-frozen water below.  The snow was falling more heavily now, thick flakes turning his hair damp.

“Sorry, I just… it was a lot.”

Aaron approached him slowly. Robert sighed and closed his eyes.

“All that stuff Liv said, the argument, then I felt like everyone was staring at me. Too many people, it was hard to breathe all of a sudden, felt like it was a hundred degrees in there.”

Aaron just nodded and watched him carefully. He remembered standing here with Robert once, on an equally cold night so many years ago. Only their positions were reversed. He was the one who’d been hunched over the bridge, head bowed, mind full of stress and uncertainty. Feeling vulnerable and shaken as he stared at his own murky reflection. 

Robert had stood tall next to him. Tall and sturdy and strong, he seemed so _strong_. Talking him down and reassuring him that everything was going to be okay, that he believed in him. He remembered Robert pulling him in for a hug, making him feel safe and calm, even if only for a moment. 

“C’mere.” Aaron gently tugged Robert’s arms away from the edge and pulled him closer. He wrapped his arms around him, hands rubbing soothingly up and down Robert’s back when he clung onto Aaron tightly, cold nose buried against his collarbone. It was the first time they’d embraced since the night Robert had shown up at the garage.

“I’m sorry she had a go in front of everyone.”

“Not your fault,” Robert mumbled, his voice muffled in Aaron’s jumper.

A strong gust of wind suddenly howled through the village, and Robert shivered against him.

“You’re not even wearin’ a coat,” Aaron muttered. “You’ll catch your death.”

“Dad mode again,” Robert half laughed, pulling back slightly. “And neither are you, genius.”

Their stood face to face, arms still around each other. Tiny snowflakes were caught in Robert’s eyelashes, and Aaron gently brushed them away with his thumb, unthinking. He heard the tiniest hitch in Robert’s breathing as he did so. The silent falling snow made everything seem slow and ethereal, blanketing them from the rest of the world.

“Rob… ”

His eyes flicked down to Robert’s mouth, and he looked back up just in time to catch Robert’s doing the same. 

“Yeah?”

“I… ”

Aaron’s eyes fluttered, and he felt Robert’s breath lightly hit his mouth as their heads tilted closer, noses brushing.

“Aaron? Robert?”

They sprang apart and looked up to see Victoria hurrying towards them, Seb by her side. His eyes were full of tears.

“I’m sorry, he got upset when you left, wanted you both,” Vic said apologetically, but she needn’t have bothered explaining, as Seb had already dropped her hand and was hurtling across the bridge.

He released a small sob when he reached them, his whole face crumpling. Robert’s own face fell and was quick to scoop him up in his arms, squeezing tightly. Aaron moved in closer until his chest was pressed against Seb’s back, squishing him between them.

“You left,” Seb hiccuped.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Robert murmured, looking gutted. “It’s okay, I'm here.”

Aaron sighed regretfully and pressed a kiss to the back of Seb’s head, wrapping his arms around him from behind.

“I’m sorry, mate, I shouldn’t have left so fast. Should’ve made sure you were okay first.”

“And we’re sorry about all the shouting.”

“I didn’t like it,” Seb sniffed, letting Aaron wipe his cheeks with the sleeve of his jumper.

“I know.”

“She was mean.”

“She was. But she’s gone now, you won’t have to see her again.”

It took a minute, but Seb eventually calmed down, his breathing slowing as they kept him snug between their torsos.

“Alright?” 

Seb nodded and rubbed his eyes silently, cheeks and nose turning bright red in the cold.

“Oi, gimme a smile.” Aaron eased him out of Robert’s arms and held him so they were face to face. “You can’t be sad on Christmas Eve, it’s not allowed.”

He rubbed jaw back and forth against Seb’s cheek, tickling him with his beard until he started to laugh. It was a trick that had worked since he was a baby, the stubble never failing to make him giggle and squirm.

“There, that’s better.” 

Robert smiled softly, running his fingers through Seb’s hair. “Come on, it’s freezing out here.”

They walked slowly off the bridge, where they found Victoria stood waiting on the road. 

“Are you coming back to the party?” She asked, eyes scanning them quickly for any signs of lasting upset.

“You want to?” Robert asked Seb, who nodded. “Then yes.”

“You don’t have to,” Aaron said quietly. “If you need to go home, then – ”

“Nah, we were having fun before. Besides – ” He reached into his pocket. “ – they were about to announce the raffle winners and I’ve paid a small fortune for these.”

He pulled out several strips of raffle tickets, passing them to Seb.

“Let’s see if we can do better than a selection box this year.” 

* 

“Ah!” Aaron cried when he and Robert entered the living room to see Seb poking at a present under the tree – one of the ones Robert had given him. “’Scuse me, mister, you know you’re not supposed to open that until morning.”

Seb dropped the present sheepishly and scooted on his bum across the carpet, away from the tree. “Was just havin’ a feel.”

The rest of the party had gone without a hitch. When they returned, no one – not even Chas – had bothered them about the dramatics they’d witnessed earlier, acting like nothing had even happened (Aaron suspected both Nicola and Cain had something to do with that). Once the evening came to an end, Seb had begged Robert to come back to the cottage to watch a film with them before bed.

“What’re we watching, then?” Robert asked, putting down their mugs of hot chocolate and settling on the sofa. “Have you picked something?”

Seb nodded. “Muppet Christmas Carol!”

“Oh.” Robert’s eyes lit up. “That’s one of my favourites.”

“I know,” Seb muttered, matter-of-fact as he pressed the buttons on the remote. “Daddy told me, said it’s a classic.”

“Did he, now?”

“Watched this on our first Christmas Eve here, didn’t we?” Aaron said, putting the plate of cookies and carrots out for Santa before taking a seat next to Robert.

Seb hummed in agreement as he pressed play and settled on a cushion he’d pulled onto the floor, forgoing the sofa or armchair in favour of snuggling up with Molly in front of the TV.  Aaron grabbed a knitted blanket hanging over the back of the sofa and spread his and Robert's laps. Robert smiled briefly at him and made himself comfortable underneath it, head tipped back in contentment. They were sat at opposite ends of the sofa, the blanket dipping in the space between them.

As the opening scenes of the film played out, Aaron couldn’t help remembering the first time they’d watched this film together, Robert’s arm snug around him, his head resting automatically on Robert’s chest. He swallowed thickly and glanced at Robert sipping his drink, wondering if the same memory was playing in his mind. If he felt the unwanted distance between them just as keenly as him.

Sod it.

Without taking his eyes off the screen, Aaron slowly inched his hand across the sofa, concealed beneath the blanket. Feeling a little like a nervous teenager, he extended his little finger until it brushed against Robert’s. The only reaction he gave was a quick intake of breath. Emboldened by the fact that he didn’t pull away, Aaron stretched his hand further until it covered Robert’s completely, gradually curling his fingers until they interlocked together.

Finally, he felt Robert’s eyes flicker over to him, and he didn't have to look back to know he was staring at him questioningly. 

“Watch the film,” Aaron whispered with tiny smile. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Robert smiled too and looked back at the screen. Their hands stayed together, laying between them under the blanket, thumbs occasionally brushing back and forth.

* 

By the time the film ended, Seb was – as usual – passed out on the floor, face buried in Molly’s fur.

“Knew he'd crash before the end.”

Robert cleared his throat quietly. “You gonna take him up to bed?”

Aaron finally relinquished his hand and stretched, groaning at the crick in his neck. 

“Why don’t you do it? I need to get his presents from my room, put them under the tree.” 

Robert carefully gathered Seb in his arms and carried him upstairs, Aaron close behind them. Once he’d made it to his room, he grabbed the bags of presents from their usual hiding spots and tiptoed back down with them. He heard the faint sounds of Robert moving around in Seb’s room, and couldn’t help grinning at the noise. At the fact that he wasn’t doing this alone this year.

As he began arranging the gifts under the tree, Robert came quietly down the stairs.

“I should be getting off, then,” he said, reaching for his coat. “It’s late.”

“Wait,” Aaron blurted out, perhaps a little too loudly. “You don’t have to. Stay for a bit, if you want?”

Robert hovered uncertainly. 

“Please stay,” Aaron repeated, quieter this time.

“Okay.” 

Relieved, Aaron nodded and resumed putting presents out. Robert curled back up on the sofa, flicking through the channels. Once the bags were empty, he took Molly out to the garden so she could do her business before hurrying back inside, shivering and kicking snow off his boots. He returned to the living room and grabbed the carrot that had been left out for the reindeer, biting a large chunk out of it before putting it back. He moved on to the plate of cookies, picking it up and holding it out to Robert.

“Help me out, would you?”

Robert grinned and took a couple. “My pleasure.”

Aaron took one of his own and began munching on it as he sat down, looking at what Robert had chosen to watch.

“Oh God, not this one,” he groaned at the vaguely familiar black and white film onscreen.

“It’s a cl – ”

“I don’t care if it’s a classic, Rob, it’s borin’.” 

Robert had only gotten him to sit through It’s a Wonderful Life once before, the Christmas after they'd got married, and it was safe to say Aaron hadn’t enjoyed it nearly as much as the Muppets film.

“No, you just have bad taste.”

“I dunno, I think my taste is alright.”

Robert held his gaze for a moment, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, before looking back at the screen. Aaron sighed in resignation and made himself comfortable. They watched in silence for a while, the fireplace crackling every so often. Molly curled up in her bed, soon falling asleep.

“You sure you’re okay?” Aaron couldn’t help asking quietly, propping an elbow on the back of the sofa. “After Liv, I mean.”

“I’m fine. Wasn’t exactly pleasant but… ” Robert shrugged. “I wasn’t about to let her talk to you like that. It had to happen eventually, I suppose. And it actually felt pretty good to get some of that stuff off my chest, so…”

Out of everything Robert had said to her, there was one thing that stuck in Aaron’s mind, playing on loop ever since he’d heard it. 

“You said ‘loved’.” 

“What?”

“When Liv was – at the village hall, you told her you never said anything because you _loved_ me. Past tense.”

Robert remained silent, watching him with a hint of trepidation.

“Is – did you – I mean, are you still – ?”

“I still love you,” Robert whispered, eyebrows shooting up like he was practically insulted at the very idea of anything different. “Of course I do, how could I not?”

Aaron’s heart hammered so loudly, it was a miracle Robert couldn’t hear it.

“Yeah?” His voice was hushed and shaky, like he might choke if he spoke any louder.

“Yeah… I told you I’d always love you, remember?”

Aaron nodded wordlessly, suddenly feeling almost foolish for having any doubt in his mind.

“And I meant it. But I’m not – I don’t expect anything, Aaron, I know how lucky I am to even be sitting here with – ”

“I love you, too.” 

Robert fell silent.

“I never stopped, not for a second.” He’d moved across the sofa without realising it, until they were somehow mere inches apart. They were close enough for him to feel the heat of Robert’s body. “Even… even when I thought I hated you, I still loved you.”

The light from the old film cast moving shadows across Robert’s face as he stared with disbelief and what looked like the smallest glimmer of hope. Aaron could tell by the look in his eyes – beautiful green eyes that he'd missed gazing into so much – that he wasn’t going to be the one to make the first move. Not like the first time they’d kissed, or the first time they’d gotten together properly.

Gathering what courage he had, Aaron slowly lifted his hand to Robert’s face, almost in an imitation of the way he’d brushed snow out of his eyes a few hours earlier, and softly laid it on his cheek, fingers brushing his hair back. Robert’s breath hitched once more, head tipping into his hand slightly.

“I… Aaron, are you sure?”

In lieu of answering, Aaron crossed the last few inches, nudging forwards to brush their lips together. It was so light, so careful, it was barely even a kiss, but it still left him breathless.

He pulled back slightly, nose bumping into Robert’s. They stared at each other for a fraction of a second, before surging back in again.


	12. Chapter 12

The thing was, it wasn’t as though Aaron never got a good night’s sleep.

He was a busy man; you couldn’t be a single dad working a full-time job and _not_ fall into bed utterly exhausted most nights. The lingering insomnia he’d suffered in the first year after losing Robert had soon faded once Seb came into his life. For the most part, he slept soundly and peacefully within minutes of his head hitting the pillow, and relished the chance to have a lie in on the few mornings Seb was away on a sleepover.

But there was something different about waking up this morning.

This morning, he awoke slowly, feeling more rested and content than he had in longer than he could remember. His senses kicked in one at a time; h e felt the warmth of a familiar body next to his, heard the sound of slow, even breathing. And when he peeled his eyes open, he saw a sight he’d been missing for five years.

Robert was on his front, one arm half-draped over Aaron’s torso, the other tucked beneath the pillow. His head was turned towards Aaron, face relaxed in sleep and hair falling over his closed eyes. Aaron snaked a hand out from under the heavy duvet to carefully push it back, fingers running through the blond strands and down the back of Robert’s head to rest on his neck.

Robert stirred slightly, and though part of Aaron was reluctant to break the quiet spell they were in, he couldn’t resist shifting forwards to brush his mouth along his jawline.

“Mornin’.”

The only response he got was a sleepy hum.

“Hey,” Aaron nudged him lightly. “Merry Christmas, you.”

Robert smiled at that, cracking one eye open. “Happy Christmas.”

They lay curled up together for a few quiet moments. A quick glance at the time told Aaron it was morning, but still early, sunrise still at least half an hour away. Robert yawned against Aaron’s shoulder, scrubbing a hand over his eyes before dropping it on Aaron’s cheek.

“So… ” His voice was still hoarse with sleep. “Last night was… ”

Aaron matched his small grin with one of his own.

“Yeah, it was. You okay?”

“Yeah. Do you… ” His face turned somewhat timid. “D’you regret it? ’Cause I know it just sort of... happened, I understand if – ”

Aaron curled an arm tight around his waist, pulling him closer until their chests were pressed flush together, and kissed him, soft and slow, dragging it out like they had all the time in the world.

“Don’t be daft,” he murmured once he’d pulled away, fingers idly skating random patterns across Robert’s back. “Yeah, maybe we should’ve talked a bit first but… well, we always were good at this part.”

Robert huffed in amusement, breath ghosting against Aaron’s cheekbone.

“True… ” 

He tilted his head slightly and they were kissing again, touches lazy and sleep heavy as their lips brushed together. Eventually, they pulled away, foreheads and noses still touching, ankles hooked over each other.

“Your morning breath’s not gotten any better,” Robert murmured, yelping when Aaron dug his fingers into his ribcage. 

“Yours doesn’t exactly smell of roses either, you prick.”

Robert muffled his laughter into his pillow, eyes crinkling as it faded into contented smile.

“So… what happens now?”

Before Aaron had a chance to reply, their quiet bubble was well and truly broken when they were both startled by the loud _bang_ of a door opening, followed by small footsteps dashing along the landing. Looking as if he was reacting on pure panic, Robert quickly shuffled further down the bed out of sight. Aaron barely had time to yank the covers up over Robert’s head before Seb flung the door open and burst into the room, practically brimming with excitement.

“Daddy, wake up! It’s Christmas!”

“I’m up, I’m up.” Careful not to dislodge the duvet, Aaron sat up slightly and gave him a sleepy grin. “Merry Christmas, mate.”

“Can we see if Santa’s been?”

“Course we can. Just, er… go brush your teeth first, yeah?”

Seb paused in slight bewilderment, and Aaron couldn’t blame him. He didn’t think he’d ever gotten Seb to stop and brush his teeth before presents, but he needed to delay him, just for a minute. Still, he didn’t argue and left to run into the bathroom.

Aaron blew out a relieved breath and pulled the duvet down to reveal Robert’s face.

“Sorry,” he whispered, hopping out of bed and closing the door, before hurriedly pulling some pyjamas on. “Just didn’t want to – ”

“Confuse him, yeah,” Robert whispered back. 

“Why don’t I go down with him, then you follow a couple of minutes later? We can say you stayed over last night and slept in the spare room. M’pretty sure the door’s closed so he won’t know it was empty.”

“Okay.” Robert sat up, taking the spare set of pyjamas Aaron tossed him. “You sure it won’t be weird?”

“You were meant to be comin’ over to open presents with us this morning anyway, right? I’m sure he won’t be bothered.”

“Dad!” An impatient voice called from what sounded like the top of the staircase. “I’ve done my teeth!” 

“Be right there!” Aaron called back and headed for the door, before turning to glance back at Robert. 

He was sitting in the middle of the bed, knees bent up under the covers, watching him leave uncertainly. In that moment, he suddenly looked so small sitting alone in the bed, showing just a hint of the anxiety he'd had on the first night he'd appeared back in Aaron's life, Aaron couldn’t help darting back to kneel on the mattress in front of him, cupping his face in his hands and leaning down for one more searing kiss.

“We’ll talk later,” he whispered as he pulled away, pressing one more kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Promise.”

“Okay,” Robert nodded, looking a little more reassured as he smiled up at Aaron. “Later.”

*

They did not talk later. 

Christmas Day flew by. Seb had barely batted an eye at Robert appearing on the stairs just moments after them, easily believing the story they told him and focusing all of his attention on the fact that Santa had indeed visited the cottage last night. He tore through his presents like a whirlwind, sending paper flying everywhere (much to Molly’s excitement), happily hugging Robert after opening each gift he’d bought him (because of course Robert hadn’t been able to stop at one) and of course, he wanted to play with every single toy or game the second he opened it.

The morning moved quickly from there; they barely had time to eat breakfast and get dressed before driving up to the farm for a quick stop. 

“How you lads doin’?” Cain asked, plopping two cups of coffee down in front of them while Isaac enthusiastically showed Seb his new toys. “Knackered yet?”

Robert just gulped his coffee back like a shot and watched the boys with a look of awe. “They’ve been hyper since the crack of dawn, how do they still have so much energy?”

Aaron patted his arm. “It’s his first time.”

Cain’s mouth twitched. “You’ll get the hang of it.”

“Dad!” Isaac called, grabbing his coat. “Me ’n Seb are gonna have a snowball fight.”

“As long as it’s only snow you throw at each other! We’re not goin’ to A&E on Christmas Day. Not again.”

*

It felt like they’d barely had time to finish their brews before they were driving back into the village and piling into Keeper’s Cottage for Christmas dinner. While Robert and Seb went straight to the living room where Harry and Diane were sitting, dragging bags of gifts in with them, Aaron headed to the kitchen, sticking the drinks they’d brought into fridge.

As he slammed the door shut, he looked up to see Victoria had appeared in the kitchen doorway, essentially trapping him in there with her.

“So… ” There was a gleeful look in her eyes. “Someone didn’t come home and sleep in his bed last night.”

Aaron just hummed. “Observant.”

“So… ”

“So… ”

A cheshire cat grin overtook her face.

“I knew it.” She came towards him and smacked his arm repeatedly. “I _knew_ it.”

“Ow, there’s no need to _hit_ me.”

“It’s a congratulatory hit. So… ”

“Sooo…?” Aaron couldn’t help laughing at the exasperated look on her face.

“Oh, you’re impossible. _So_ , you’re back together, then? Please tell me you are.”

“We uh… didn’t quite get around to discussing the details, got a bit preoccupied – ”

“Ugh, haven’t missed you talkin’ about my brother like that.” 

“ – but yeah.” Aaron smiled, pressing his lips together. “Yeah, I think we are.” 

*

The day was over in the blink of an eye. Before Aaron knew it, it was way past Seb’s bedtime and he bundling him into his coat as they said their goodbyes.

“Some more wine, Robert?” Diane opened another bottle without waiting for an answer. “Oh, it’s still so lovely to have you back, pet.”

She poured a sizeable glass and handed it to him, before taking a seat on the sofa beside him, clutching his arm. “It’s been the best day we’ve had in so long, I never want it to end!”

Aaron could tell by the look in Robert’s eyes that any ideas he’d had about making his excuses and going back to the cottage with Aaron and Seb were becoming increasingly unlikely.

They literally hadn’t been able to find a single moment alone all day, and he couldn’t help shooting a mournful look in Robert’s direction.

“Sorry,” Robert mouthed, looking apologetic.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed back, before squeezing Seb’s shoulder. “Right, bedtime for you, mister.”

Seb just mumbled in acknowledgement and shuffled in the direction of the front door, Molly at his heels.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Aaron said to the room at large, though his gaze was entirely directed at Robert.

He was met with murmurs of agreement from Vic and Diane, while Robert just smiled warmly.

“Tomorrow.”

*

The next morning, Aaron sat perched on an uncomfortable bale of hay, shivering into his puffy jacket as he waited and absently pondered some of his 22 year-old self’s life choices. Just as he was contemplating ringing Robert to ask what the hell was taking so long, the barn door swung open and he stepped inside.

Aaron smiled automatically and slid off the bale. “Hiya.”

“Hey,” Robert said, giving him a bemused smile in return, eyes travelling over their surroundings. “Sorry I’m late, Harry wanted help with his new LEGO set.”

“Harry wanted you to help or you just wanted a chance to play with Harry’s LEGOs?”

“Bit of both?” He pulled a sheepish face. “What’s Seb up to?”

“I asked Ryan to have him, just for an hour or two. No doubt Jess and Emily are forcing him to play with their dolls house or have a makeover as we speak.”

“Poor kid,” Robert grinned and stuck his hands in his pockets. “So… what’re we doing all the way out here?”

“Wanted to see you. Alone.”

“And you picked a freezing barn to do it?”

“This freezing barn was good enough for you 10 Boxing Days ago.” Aaron shrugged, his smile turning teasing. “In fact, I think it was your idea.”

Robert’s eyes widened. “It _has not_ been 10 years.”

“’Fraid so. Feel old yet? Because I definitely do.”

“Oh god, _don’t_. If you’re old, then that makes me ancient.”

Aaron chucked and came towards him, fisting a gloved hand in the lapels of his coat. 

“38 isn’t old, I’m only messing. You don’t even have any grey hair, you bastard.”

Aaron ran a slightly self-conscious hand through his own hair, where the odd lighter strand was beginning to appear every now and then, standing out in amongst the black. Robert rolled his eyes and copied his movements, fingers gently burying themselves in Aaron’s curls.

“Please, you’re even more gorgeous than than you were _all those_ Boxing Days ago.”

“Shut up,” Aaron laughed, giddy for no reason at all, and before he knew it they were falling into each other again, trading long kisses that gradually became more urgent, that had them clinging to each other the way they had two days earlier. He eventually pulled away with a regretful moan but stayed close, bracing a palm across Robert’s chest.

“Okay, I didn’t actually ask you out here for that.”

Robert’s bottom lip stuck out in a pout, but nodded. “Too cold to get our kits off, anyway.”

“M’sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk yesterday. After I promised.”

“S’alright. It was a bit manic, wasn’t it?”

Aaron opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure of how to start. Eventually, he ended up blurting the most pressing thing that was on his mind, the first thing he really wanted to make sure Robert knew.

“I love you. I love you and I’ve missed you _so_ – ” His voice cracked and Robert’s hand shot out to grab his, squeezing tightly.

“I love you, too. I love you so much, and I can’t believe I’m even standing here with you. I can’t believe I’m this lucky.”

Aaron’s palm travelled from Robert’s chest up to the back of his neck, gently pulling him in until their foreheads rested together.

“You should come home. Properly.” 

“Just like that?”

“Why not?”

“You’re not worried that I’ll – that I might hurt you? That I’ll mess things up again?”

“Why, are you plannin’ to?”

“No!” Robert’s head jerked back. “You and Seb… there’s no way I’d risk that, not when I’ve got you back. I said the other night that I’d never stop trying to make up for what I did, and I meant it.”

“You don’t have to. Just… promise me that you won’t throw us away over some – some stupid vendetta or whatever. And that you won’t shut me out again, because I don’t think I could survive that twice.”

Aaron was vaguely aware of tears spilling from his eyes, hot on his cold face. Robert’s own eyes were glassy as he gently wiped his thumbs across Aaron's cheeks.

“Never again,” he whispered, voice breaking just a fraction. “I promise.”

“Well, then.” Aaron believed him, believed Robert meant it with everything he had. “That was my only condition.”

They stood silently for a moment, arms wrapped around each other, breaths syncing.

“Can I ask you something?” Robert said quietly.

“Anythin’.”

“I know you said – when I first came back, you said you weren’t seein’ anyone… ”

“Yeah, I wasn’t lying about that,” Aaron frowned. “What, you think I have a secret boyfriend stashed in the cupboard of summat?”

Robert choked a small laugh. “No, that wasn’t what I was getting at. I was just wondering… did you ever… I mean was there ever a time when you…?”

“Dated someone?”

Robert nodded.

“Nah. I told you about the disaster with the bloke at the HOP, the one Liv kept tryna force me to date. After that… I thought about it once or twice over the years but I just wasn’t interested.” He laughed lightly. “And I was a single dad, when would I have even had the time?”

“When I sent – when I let you go, it was because I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to move on from me, to have the life you deserved. But now that we’re here… is it bad that I’m really glad you didn’t?”

Aaron smiled and shook his head.

“No. I did move on, though,” he insisted, willing Robert to understand. “Just not in the way you’re thinking. I moved on to Seb, to bein’ a full-time parent. I moved on to a new house, a different job, to spending time with different family, some actual friends if you can believe it. That life you say I deserved… I got it, Rob. I’ve been happy.”

Aaron took a steadying breath before continuing.

“That doesn’t mean that I didn’t miss you or wish you could be there with me. That I didn’t think about you and wonder how you were, if you were okay. Doesn’t mean I don’t want you back in my life.”

“What about Seb? Are you – you'd be happy with me being back in his life?”

“You already _are_ in his life, you idiot.”

“You know what I mean. The three of us together, a proper family.”

“Seb didn’t even want you to leave the house after that first night, did he?” Aaron chuckled. “I know we’ll need to sit down with him, talk to him properly as soon as we can, but I’m not worried. I have a feeling he’ll be made up, and I like to think I know him pretty well, so… ”

Aaron unzipped his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, opening it carefully. Robert’s mouth fell open as he gazed down at the two matching rings.

“Will you be my husband again?” Aaron asked, heart hammering in his chest. “Third time lucky?”

Robert choked a wet laugh, his chin quivering. “Course I will.”

They slid the bands over each other’s shaking fingers, slotting them back into place. The weight of it was familiar on Aaron's finger, warm and comforting and already giving him the urge to twist it back and forth. Instead, he looked up, eyes meeting Robert's, and they simultaneously crashed together, kissing until they ran out of air. When they eventually parted, Robert ran a thumb over his ring, blinking rapidly.

“I thought I’d never see this again.”

“Well, I promised you I’d keep it safe, didn’t I?”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d chucked it in the quarry,” Robert sighed. “You’re _sure_ it’s not too fast?”

“Positive,” Aaron said firmly, kissing him once more. He’d get Robert to believe this was really happening if it killed him. “Besides, Eve’s already got us halfway down the aisle, so… ”

Robert chuckled. “Yeah, she’s… a character.”

“Tell me about it.” Aaron checked the time on his phone. “Speaking of her highness; I’m supposed to be picking her up and bringing her to mine for the rest of the day, let her open some presents. Fancy joining us?”

“Your mum’s not gonna like that.”

“There’s not much she does like these days, ’specially when it comes to me. I’ve spent four years stopping her from dictating my life, I’m not about to start again.”

“Well in that case,” Robert grinned and tugged on his hand. “Let’s go pick your sister up.”

*

Aaron had been right about Seb.  To say he was over the moon about Robert moving in was an understatement. He’d tackled them both on the sofa where they’d been sitting when they told him, squeezing with more force than someone his size should’ve been capable of.  Robert brought his few belongings one that same day, Victoria giving him a hug and watching him cross the street from the entrance of Keeper’s Cottage with a knowing grin. 

Not a single person in the village said anything or even batted an eye over the next few days, there was no reaction when they started seeing Aaron and Robert walking hand in hand. Aaron wondered if most had assumed they’d already been back together since Robert had first arrived.

They both had to work a few shifts on the days in-between Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve, but when Aaron wasn’t at the garage and Robert wasn’t in the cafe, the time went by in a blissfully happy blur. They spent hours playing outside in the snow with Seb and Molly, or sitting together inside the cottage, cooking tea or watching rubbish TV – or playing yet another one of Seb’s new board games with him.

As for the nights, well. Those hours were blissful, too; both of them relearning each other, Aaron remembering things that had almost faded from his memory. Like the feeling of Robert above and below him, the sound of Robert gasping and moaning his name, the slide of his soft skin pressed against Aaron’s own, the way they just couldn’t keep their hands off each other, couldn’t stop kissing.

He got to remember how it felt to curl up under the covers afterwards, pressed together from head to toe, the heat of Robert’s body seeping into Aaron’s. The soft tickle of his hair under Aaron’s chin as he rested his head on Aaron’s chest, ear over his heartbeat, just like he always used to do. Robert’s fingers intertwining with his or his arm curving around his waist, making him feel safe and cocooned from the world.

Aaron had almost forgotten once, how it felt to have Robert beside him. He had no intention of ever doing it again.

*

“Huh,” Robert muttered, interrupting himself whilst in the middle of asking how Aaron’s shift had been. “Look at that.”

It was the day before New Year’s Eve, and they were standing on the road by the garage, Robert having just met Aaron from work with Molly in tow. Aaron glanced in the direction of his subtlety pointed finger and raised his eyebrows.

Liv was stood at the entrance to the Mill, talking to a suited man who was hoisting a sign up on the gate. They were too far away to make out the words, but it was clearly a _for sale_ sign.

“Wow, that was fast.” 

“Can’t believe she even got someone to come out in the week after Christmas,” Robert said with a shrug.

They watched the man – who Aaron was guessing was an estate agent – climb into his car and drive away. Liv began walking away from the Mill, too, turning left towards the bus stop.

“That’s that, then,” Robert said mildly, before frowning at the pensive look on Aaron’s face. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Does it bother you at all? That I didn’t stay in the Mill?”

“No… why would it?”

“You put everythin’ into that place, spent a fortune getting it perfect for us while I was in prison. It was our first real home. D’you not, I dunno, wish that I’d fought harder for it? Instead of running away?”

It was a thought Aaron hadn’t entertained for a long time. The longer he’d been away from the Mill and the happier he and Seb had become, the more at ease he was with his decision to leave. But somehow, having Robert back in his life, having him see the reality of Aaron’s choice… it made a tiny voice in the back of his mind start to question it.

Robert shook his head firmly.

“You didn’t _run away_. You got yourself and our son out of a bad situation, made a fresh start somewhere safe. The only thing that bothers me is the idea of you being stuck in that house thinking you had no way out.”

Aaron sighed and nodded, the low hum of anxiety in his chest easing a little.

“I love Mulberry Cottage,” Robert added. “It’s warm and cozy and it’s very… _you_. But more to the point, it has my family in it. That makes it home to me. Doesn’t matter which house we’re in, as long as I have you and Seb – and this one, I suppose – ” he grinned down at Molly. “That’s all I need. I’d live in a grotty caravan as long as it meant we were together.”

Aaron snorted. “You wouldn’t last five minutes in a caravan.”

“For you, I’d last ten minutes at least.”

“Wow, lucky me.”

Robert sniggered, before nodding towards the Mill. “Wouldn’t mind seeing it one last time, though. Inside, I mean. See if it’s how I remember it.”

“Me too. Maybe we can go undercover on a viewing, pretend we’re just some random couple lookin’ to buy. Bet Charity would lend us a couple of wigs.”

He was only kidding, but Robert’s mouth curled into a slow smile, a devious glint in his eyes.

“Why wait until a viewing?” Ignoring Aaron's confused frown, he took a step backwards. “Come on.”

“What?”

“She’s out, isn’t she? Let’s go have a peek.”

Without waiting for a response, Robert turned and started heading in the direction of the house. Aaron swore and picked Molly up, tucking her snugly under his arm and jogging after him.

“Rob! Tell me you’re not thinking of breaking in, you’ve barely been out of prison five minutes! What if someone sees?”

“There’s no one around,” he said calmly, glancing back and forth for any stray villagers. “Besides, who here would tell on us?” 

“My flippin’ mother, for a start.”

Aaron words clearly fell on deaf ears, as Robert walked quickly past the estate agent’s sign, down the Mill’s drive, and round the back of the building. Aaron followed him into the garden and watched him come to a stop next to to a moss-covered statue of an owl, one that Aaron vaguely recalled him purchasing on a whim from the garden centre. Robert dropped his hand and tilted the statue up, making a noise of triumph as he grabbed the key hidden underneath.

“Knew it,” he said, brandishing it at Aaron with a grin. “It’s not breaking and entering if you have a key.”

“Not sure that’s quite true,” said Aaron, even as he followed Robert up the stone steps that led to their old back door.

“You said it yourself,” Robert muttered, fiddling to get the key in the lock. “This was our first home. We have a right to see it one more time before some strangers make it theirs.”

He turned the key and swung the door open, stepping inside slowly. Aaron sighed and held Molly up in front of him.

“Right you,” he said sternly. “If I put you down, don’t even think about peeing anywhere. Or chewing anything. We need to be stealthy.”

Molly licked his nose, which he took as an agreement, and he put her down on the threshold before following her inside. Robert had already come to a stop in the living room, staring around the ground floor in shock.

“Jesus Christ.”

Aaron had to agree with the sentiment.

The only furniture in the room was a cheap-looking two-seater and a TV in front of the fireplace. Plus their old white kitchen table, the one Aaron had left behind, which remained in its original spot. Much like when Aaron had left, the kitchen counters were covered in rubbish, from empty food packets and takeaway boxes to dirty dishes.

The walls were bare and remained the same deep shade of blue, except for one. One side of the room was half-painted bright green; messy, uneven strokes brushed across the wall, before petering off and leaving the rest the original blue. There was a large can of paint on the floor with stiff, unwashed brushes lying next to it, dried green droplets spattered over the floorboards. Like someone had started a DIY project then gotten bored halfway through.

The windows were dripping with heavy condensation, and clusters of mould crept along the ceiling above them. There was dust along the skirting boards and cobwebs in the corners, clothes and trainers and other random items lying discarded across the floor. Aaron grimaced and swiftly changed his mind about letting Molly loose, scooping her up again before she could get stuck into anything she shouldn’t. He watched Robert take a deep breath, before pulling a face at the smell he’d just inhaled. 

“Well… ” He swallowed thickly and ran a hand through his hair, looking visibly shaken. “Guess you warned me it wasn’t the same as when I left.”

Aaron pressed the hand that wasn’t holding Molly on the small of his back  and kissed his shoulder. “I know.”

It was hard enough for him to look at their old home in this state even now, even when he’d witnessed the beginnings of the downward spiral firsthand. No wonder Robert looked so aghast.

“She’ll never sell it, not for what it was worth when we did it up.”

“Hey, if we were convinced to buy it when it was an actual wreckage site, someone else’ll snap it up. Not necessarily for the price she’ll want but… ” He sighed and took a step back, waving a hand around them. “This is all easily fixed. Someone else can make it a home again, another family or couple. Be as happy as we were.”

He walking over to the spiral staircase.

“I don’t miss this thing,” he said lightly, running a hand along a step, scrunching his nose up when his fingers came away dirty. “Nearly killed us more times than I can remember.”

He remembered countless mornings where one of them, in their haste to get to work on time, had tripped while dashing down them. Nights where the two of them had stumbled up them haphazardly, trying to navigate their way around the spiral without letting go of each other, laughing into each other’s mouths when one of them lost their footing. It was a miracle neither of them broke their necks.

Robert smiled. “Suppose it was a bit of a ridiculous choice. I might’ve gotten a bit carried away.”

“Hm, more like you went a bit power mad.”

“Why didn’t you take the table?” Robert glanced at the round table in the kitchen, the once-gleaming white surface now covered in stains and scratches, as well as what looked like a pile of unopened post.

“’Cos I hated it.”

Robert looked at him, open-mouthed. “Now you tell me.”

He wandered over to the entrance and looked at the front door. 

“At least my stained glass window’s still intact.” He eyed up the coloured pattern. “Don’t suppose you’d want one for the cottage?”

“We can’t rob the window, that’s _definitely_ illegal.”

“Well I didn’t mean _this_ _specific_ one, I was talking about a new… ” Robert trailed off uncertainly. “I mean, I know you’ve done the place up how you like it. And it’s your house, I wouldn’t wanna change anything if you didn’t – ”

“Oi, stop it.” Aaron sighed and came towards him, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Your house too, now. And we can talk about a stained glass window – ” Robert’s eyes lit up. “A _small_ one.”

They slowly wandered around the house for a little while longer, ignoring the dirt and debris as they reminisced over just a few of the countless memories they shared there between them. Eventually, they returned to the back door and Robert pulled the key out of his pocket.

“Ready to say goodbye?”

Aaron sighed and took one more look around, stroking a soothing hand over Molly as she fidgeted in his arms.

“Yeah. I’m ready.” 

They snuck quietly outside, Robert locking it securely behind them as Aaron put Molly down, reattaching her leash. He went to put the key back under the owl statue, then hesitated, before snatching the whole thing up.

“Fuck it, this was mine.”

Aaron smothered a laugh with his hand as Robert held the stone owl protectively against his chest. They took one last look up at the house, peering through the smudged windows.

“We really were happy here,” Robert said quietly, looking at him. “Weren’t we?”

“The happiest I’d ever been. Until now.” Aaron took a step back. “Home?”

“Home. Quick, before someone sees us.”

“Oh _now_ you worry about bein’ caught.”

They grinned at each other and started half-walking, half-running away from the house, keeping a lookout for any observers and giggling like idiots the whole way.

*

It was five minutes to midnight and they were standing in the street, huddled together while they waited for Bob and Jimmy’s fireworks display to start.

“We could’ve just watched from the window,” Aaron muttered, blowing on his icy fingers and keeping half an eye on where Seb was standing with some of the other kids further down the street.

Robert rolled his eyes and reached out to sandwich Aaron's hands between his own, rubbing them until they tingled with warmth.

“Come on, that's not the same. Besides, everyone else is out.”

He had a point. Nearly everyone in the village had ventured out of their houses in the last few minutes, the light from each doorway spilling out to the street. The only house that remained dark was the Mill. As Aaron’s mum had made a point of very loudly stating while they were in the pub over lunchtime, Liv had decided to take a last-minute flight to Dublin, spending New Year’s Eve with her mum. And it didn't look like she'd be venturing back anytime soon.

If Chas had been trying to make either of them feel guilty about it, it had been a wasted effort.

As Aaron’s eyes scanned the small crowd, he spotted Victoria and Ryan stood suspiciously close together, Harry, Jess and Emily running in circles around them.

“Don’t look now,” he said, nudging Robert. “But I think I know who your sister’s about to kiss at midnight.”

Robert glanced over at Victoria and sighed. “Why does she always go for your best mates?”

“Suppose she’s never gotten over not havin’ me, they’re just the consolation pri – no, don’t!” Aaron laughed and squirmed away from Robert’s hands digging into his sides.

Seb came wandering over with Dotty in tow, slipping a a mitten-glad hand into Aaron’s and leaning against him.

“How long now?” He asked with a wide yawn. They’d let him stay up for midnight, as long as he’d had a short nap earlier in the evening, but it looked like he was beginning to fade.

“Just a couple of minutes, mate. Hi Dotty, you alright?” 

Dotty smiled and nodded, before peering up at Robert.

“Seb told me you’ve moved into my house,” she said primly, brushing blonde curls out of her eyes.

“Uh… ” Robert stared at her.

Aaron snorted and turned his head to whisper in his ear. “She still thinks of it as hers.”

“Oh. Um, yeah, I did.”

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Very nice.”

“Seb’s other daddy – ” She shot Aaron a look. “ – changed all the colours, but I still like it.”

“Dotty!” Laurel called from a few feet away. “Come here, sweetheart, the fireworks are about to start.”

“Coming!” She waved goodbye to them and ran off to stand with Jai and Laurel.

“Every play date she’s ever had at ours, she walks round and inspects the place like she’s my landlady or summat.” Aaron laughed at the baffled look on Robert’s face. “Gave her opinions on all my decorating choices, too. She just wants to check I’ve been looking after it, I think.”

Whatever Robert was about to reply was cut off when Bob waved his wildly hands in the air and started shouting.

“It’s nearly time, everyone! In 10… 9… 8… ” 

As everyone started loudly counting down, Seb grabbed Robert’s jacket and pointed to the sky. “Dad, can you lift me up? So I can see the fireworks?”

“What, you can’t see from all the way down there?” Robert teased him, before bending down to hoist him up with an over-exaggerated groan. “Okay, there you go.”

“3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!” 

There was a chorus of greetings and cheers as the first fireworks shot up into the air. Aaron pressed a quick kiss to Seb’s hair, grinning at him.

“Happy New Year, mate.”

Seb grinned back, before his attention was captured by the fireworks display above him.

Aaron leaned into Robert’s side, snaking an arm tightly around his waist.

“Happy New Year,” Robert murmured, tilting his head down to kiss him softly.

“Happy New Year.”

Robert smiled and returned his gaze to the sky, whispering something to Seb that made him giggle.

As the three of them stood together, Seb’s head resting against Robert’s shoulder, Aaron’s mind wandered back to this exact time five years ago. He hadn’t even considered venturing out of the Mill that night, curling up in a ball in a bed that felt too big, in a house that – despite being full of people – felt too empty. 

As the clock struck midnight he’d pulled the covers over his head to block out the sounds of happy cheers, loathing the very idea of anyone in his vicinity being excited for the future, when he was certain that the next year would hold nothing but more misery for him. More days with a family who didn’t understand him, who were constantly irritated or disappointed in him. More days _without_ the people he really needed, who he’d lost for good.

And for the majority of it, he’d been right. The first 10 months had been nothing but pain and loneliness – looking back he wasn’t sure how he’d gotten through them.

But then, November had come. And the little boy who he’d lost all rights to, who he thought he’d never see again, had reappeared in his life and set in motion a chain of events he never could’ve imagined. Events that led to Aaron standing here, outside his home just a few New Year’s Eve's later, with the people he loved most in the world.

It was a future the Aaron of five years ago wouldn’t have dared hope for.

“Okay?” Robert was looking at him questioningly.

Aaron blinked away the old memory and smiled, taking his hand. “Never better.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to come and say hi on my tumblr! https://softlass27.tumblr.com/


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